Staying with Spouse

Staying with Spouse

Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
I was wondering what your thoughts are about staying with a spouse if they chose to have a sex change? Do you think it violated a marriage? Do you think that if you do choose to stay with your spouse, will your marriage still be valid as it becomes a same sex marriage?
04/20/2011
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Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I would assume from the decision that they chose to leave me. If my wife wants to be a man - that's her choice. But I'm not gay - so it's over. I know it's terribly old-school - but my excuse is that I'm old.
04/20/2011
Linga Linga
I think I would stay. I love my partner and just because they change physically doesn't mean they will change in any other way. That being said, No one can for certain how things will turn out.
04/20/2011
PersonalAngel PersonalAngel
this is a tough one, I believe I would want to stay with him and make it work.
04/20/2011
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
This is indeed a very difficult question, only because I am so in love with my husband.

We've been married 18 years. But if after all that time, he decided to do that, I would feel so abandoned and betrayed. I don't know if I would ever be able to trust him again. He obviously was not the person I thought he was and if he couldn't tell me long before now, it would be difficult for me to respect for him for not being honest with himself.
04/20/2011
El-Jaro El-Jaro
After a certain point, wouldn't the marriage be null and void if the identifying partner gets their paperwork changed, same sex marriage and whatnot?
04/20/2011
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
After a certain point, wouldn't the marriage be null and void if the identifying partner gets their paperwork changed, same sex marriage and whatnot?
Yes and that too!
04/20/2011
That Guy That Guy
I don't think that it changes the legal status of the marriage, since biologically they are still whatever sex they were born. It's a silly distinction, but changing the person's status would create some kind of weird, blurry line. What if a man only got breast implants and kept his penis, or lost his genatalia in an accident? That wouldn't render his marriage invalid

I think it obviously depends on the couple. This sort of thing would come as a surprise to most partners, and I'm sure that would come with a sense of betrayal. However,some people may have been aware of it when they got into the marriage, or seen a gradual change, and be okay with it. In this case, one partner is literally choosing to become a different person, and to the extent that means that they are not going to be the person their spouse fell in love with, that probably does violate the terms of the marriage. As with most relationships, there's no right answer, just feelings.
04/20/2011
Valentinka Valentinka
Well, I'm not married, so can't say anything about marriage. But there's really much more to love and relationships than just bodies. I would hardly leave him because of this. Maybe this is my hidden pansexuality speaking
04/21/2011
northstar northstar
In my opinion it would still be valid, since a marriage is a marriage regardless of gender. I'm not sure if I'd stay with them and would need to re-evaluate my needs from a (male) spouse, my feelings towards having a same-sex spouse and how this would translate to other family members (kids etc). Perhaps polyamory may come into play if I felt my needs wouldn't be fully met anymore.
03/28/2012
MasonM MasonM
My husband has been extremely supportive of my transitioning, which I'm very grateful for. We've discussed it and I will be having a breast reduction so that I can bind, but have breasts enough still to be sexually attractive to him when undressed and that I will not be getting bottom surgery, both of which I'm okay with.

He's said that even if I do transition to a point that he can no longer feel sexual attraction to me, he'll stay because we love one another and we will just have a sexless marriage.
03/30/2012
DarthTaco DarthTaco
In certain areas, transitioning doesn't affect the status of the marriage. For example: in the State of California (where I reside) if you started off as a legally heterosexual couple when you married, your marriage is still considered valid if one partner legally changes their gender.
03/30/2012
butts butts
My partner's genitals aren't what make me love him, he can do whatever makes him comfortable, even if it's changing sexes.
03/30/2012
TheParrishism TheParrishism
I think it would depend on the individuals. Transitioning can change a person. This is a fact, not an opinion. After transitioning, that person may not be the same person you married. It can be quite difficult to deal with.
04/03/2012
Total posts: 14
Unique posters: 13