trans-panic defense?

Never heard of it.

I will try my best to check my privilege, but I can sympathize with you on the level of having to hide your sexuality and/or gender identity in "official" situations. Since I'm from a conservative Christian family, I can't be open around them either. The only people who know I am kinky, genderqueer, feminist, a sex-positive and LGBTQ activist, amongst other things, are my friends.

At work and school, I am usually more open than with my family, but I still hold back a lot. I usually just refrain from talking about these things unless I'm asked, in which case I give a frank and honest truth. Unless you are in a situation where you feel you'd be in danger (even if that danger is of something like losing your job) if you were outed, I'd go with this approach. I've found people to be unexpectedly accepting of me in pretty much every case.

That said, I live in oh-so-progressive Chicago.

wow...just wow...

That sounds about as plausible as me attaching the counter person at Arby's because their chicken salad has grapes in it and chicken salad doesn't have grapes in it.

I hope that never happens to any trans people I know!

Oh yes, the trans panic defense...

I am less afraid of the trans panic defense, and more afraid of the trans panic. The defense part is only relevant once you're in court, after whatever incident happens, and if I am dead or hospitalized then what the fuck ever... The TPD is a transphobic and homophobic means for people who bash trans folks to get off with minimal punitive repercussions. It's all kinds of fucked up in itself, but I think that the the whole prison industrial complex is just as fucked, so I won't say much more here. I will say that it is scary that trans panic defense works and that it is something that people have, but more scary that prison is such a transphobic and homophobic place with so much transphobic and homophobic violence, that when people go in for bashing, they'll probably come out even more reassured in what they did, not repentant.

I am afraid, however, of the trans panic itself. I am afraid that my trans status will be disclosed and someone will react violently and kill, rape, beat, or otherwise harm me. It's something that I keep in the back of my mind much of the time- as a very out trans woman, it's always a little scary thinking of who could be around and what could happen. I try not to go out at night without friends to walk me or drive me home and I almost never (no matter how bad I want to) flirt or get close to people, unless they are trusted friends. I work in a progressive-minded, trans friendly setting, so I am not worried about reactions at work (also, Vermont has employment anti-discrimination provisions for gender identity), but out in the rest of the world I am often super-vigilant about my safety.