What to do? (Dysphoria)

Contributor: Genderfree Genderfree
EF, I am so perplexed.
I own a packer, I own a realistic strap on, but I just feel so stressed about all of the dysphoria that's going on. I just ordered a clitoris pump, I hope that will make things better, I'm just increasingly becoming less comfortable with the fact that I do not have a penis. I'm not satisfied with the surgery options out there. I have such bad anxiety in bathrooms that on a road trip that I was on (where we were in the car for 8 hours each day) that I nearly did not go to the bathroom at all. Of course, all of the rest stops had gender segregated bathrooms, EVEN the handicapped ones, with an intimidating sign that said "Persons of the opposite sex may assist disabled persons". I can't explain why it intimidated me. Maybe I read it as "Persons of the opposite sex may assist disabled persons ONLY or get arrested"

I nearly went to the restroom at this one rest stop, then watched as a huge group of bible study children and their pastor went into the restroom (it had multiple stalls, of course)
I could just imagine what would happen if one of them even asked me anything and I'd have to speak.

I'm sorry, I'm just going on and on. I'm just really at ends here, and I don't know what to do.
08/27/2013
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Contributor: Ansley Ansley
I'm so sorry you're having a rough (understatement, I'm sure) time; if you don't mind I'm going to include this post on the community home page. Perhaps someone who can help you will stumble across it and respond.
08/27/2013
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Genderfree
EF, I am so perplexed.
I own a packer, I own a realistic strap on, but I just feel so stressed about all of the dysphoria that's going on. I just ordered a clitoris pump, I hope that will make things better, I'm just increasingly becoming ... more
WOW I am so sorry! Honestly Bible groups encourage kids NOT to speak to people in restrooms so you probably would have been safe with a polite nod and maybe a friendly but brief smile.

I hate our obsession with categorizing everything and I wish bathrooms would be built without gender in mind...or we could get over our fear of men mingling with women in the bathroom. FFS people are peeing not looking for sex in most bathrooms and those who are looking for sex in a public restroom...shame on you!

I can understand your not wanting to trade in your working parts for the promise of not so much...if you get my meaning. If i might be so bold perhaps a life coach or trans friendly psychiatrist/psycholog ist might be able to offer some help with dealing with the psychological problems of being confident enough to use the restroom in a public place? I hope you find some helpful suggestions because this is seriously messed up.
08/27/2013
Contributor: Raigne Raigne
Not everyone with a penis wants to go at a urinal. For what it's worth, my stepdad pees sitting down. So does my nephew. There is just no way to do it without splashing stuff everywhere for them, among other reasons. No one is going to question your decision to use a stall in a men's restroom. At least no one with any sense.
08/27/2013
Contributor: eroticmutt eroticmutt
First of all, most men splash a lot when they pee even those who don't sit down! They just leave it all over the seat/floor/everywhere or they wipe it up (if they're nice). That's WHY there are urinals- so you're hitting the back wall and two sides are blocked. That's right, it's kinda messy when anyone does it. In the great outdoors that wouldn't be an issue.

I got a medicine spoon STP and keep it in my pocket (therefore way less suspicious if dropped). It doesn't have a packer or anything on it but doesn't need one. I've got my hormonally-enhanced bird and he's fine by himself till surgery comes, other STP were too much a hassle and bulky, hard to keep anywhere, expensive and only medicine spoon design works well for those of us who naturally have 'puffy balls' o.0

I've never had anyone question me going in a stall when I used to sit and pee, nor now when I stand and pee. I can do without the spoon too bit it involves lowering my pants not just unzipping so I prefer not to except at home.
11/04/2013