Would you stay with a partner if they decided to go through with a gender changing surgery?

Transition is challenging, both for the person transitioning and their partner(s). I've been on either side of the situation a couple of times. Yeah, it was hard, but it's so much easier to love someone as they begin to love themselves a bit more, and to be present for someone's transition is a magical thing. less

Oh man, I hate this thread so much I can't even handle it. If you're dating someone they probably don't want you to "deal with it" or "ignore it" if and when they decide to transition. Are you kidding? Can you imagine the resentment that would build up in a relationship that involves IGNORING an entire aspect of the person you're dating? This goes for ANYTHING. If you're just dealing with your partner's transition, or ignoring it, you probably shouldn't be with that person. I know I sure as hell would not stay with someone who reacted that way to my transition. less

I think it's probably true that I was reacting harshly, but some of the responses really got to me. I did think about the idea of ignoring it actually meaning the transition didn't matter. As someone who doesn't like talking about my own transition I guess you could say I would fall into the category of wanting my girlfriend not think about it very much. I also agree with you that I would feel like I was lying if we did choose to blatantly ignore my transition. I don't want to bring attention to it, but discussing what I'm going through with my partner is a very different situation.

It's very true that I would want whoever I was dating to have time to think about it and sort things out. I would, however, probably react the same way if my girlfriend addressed the issue with some of the wording as I've seen in this post. I would feel invalidated and would begin questioning if she was someone I could see myself with. I think that what really got to me was the one-sidedness proposed here of "I could deal with it" rather than "we could deal with it". It sort of reminds me of when a straight woman tells another woman (typically a lesbian) "if I were gay I would date you." Sexuality and gender become a novelty so quickly, and it felt like these responses weren't really taking into consideration how their partner would react to these reactions.

I think in general it's often that I see questions/posts in this forum that seem very outdated, but that could come from the fact that I live in the bay area and have a lot of trans friends and went to a liberal arts college, etc. I think the most important point that I wanted to get across, though, was that the transition is not what changes the person's gender. I saw that you also mentioned that, so it's at least reassuring that I'm not alone in saying that here. less

This is a tough one. Though honestly, I would probably call for a breakup just for the simple fact that if they were changing their gender to more clearly define who they feel they are inside, then they probably are more attracted to members of their own original gender, so why would they want to me with me? Ok, don't know if that made sense... but if the man I was with wanted to become a woman, I would assume that he'd be more attracted to another man (as a woman). Sex is a very important part of a relationship, and I would want him to be happy, even if it wasn't with me or my "parts", hah. Of course I would remain friends and be supportive of that person, but to be completely honest, I don't see an actual partnership or relationship completely working. less