Would you stay with a partner if they decided to go through with a gender changing surgery?

I would be worried about my identity having hurt my partner. For example, if I identify as a monosexually gay man, rather than pan or bi, if my partner who identifies as female began to transition, I can imagine she'd be reluctant to tell me in case I did find her gender incongruous with my sexual preference -- and I'd be way more willing to reassess my own preference in partner gender, since clearly I did fall in love with a woman, than pressure her to present as a man if she wanted me to stick around. But if my partner wanted to break up for that reason, I wouldn't mind -- they're just doing what they have to do to make everything congruent with their identity, and things change.

I identify as pansexual and am a bit genderqueer. My partner is FTM and transitioned right after we started dating a few years ago. My personal philosophy is that I fall in love with people and not their genitals. Being as I don't identify as gay or straight I don't get so caught up in labels. It was pretty awesome to watch someone go through this process and I was very supportive of his decision. He had identified as male for a long time and surgery just helped make his body match his identified gender and helped others see his as male, but he has always been male.

Of course!

Of course, because for me I'd be with them for them, not their body.

No...I'm heterosexual so I couldn't force myself to remain in such a relationship, even if I was in love. You can still love somebody and not be with them romantically, so I would still care very deeply for that person.

As a trans* person with two transgender partners, this whole question is nauseating and insulting to me. First of all, transition is a lot more complicated than one surgery. People get so fucking fixated on genitals that they forget what GENDER is. Gender is not the same as physical sex. Gender is how you feel about yourself as a person and how you relate to the world. Sex is a complicated thing based on-- yes, genitals-- but also hormone levels, chromosomes, bone structure, voice, hair growth, reproductive organs, fat and tissue distribution, skin texture... and NONE of these things have to line up the way we are taught that they do. There is no one "surgery" that makes a whole transition process. And the process is different for every trans* person! Many trans* people live as a gender different than they were assigned at birth and never have any surgeries. Some may not even have hormone treatment. And aside from the glaring ignorance in which the question and answers were framed, the idea that you would throw someone you claim to love by the wayside or try to shame or manipulate them just for expressing their truest self or for taking steps toward their own self-acceptance and healing is so sickening I could spit.

I mean it in no offensive way, but I'm not attracted to vaginas. I find them disgusting. Only one I wanna touch is my own. So I can't guarantee I would stay with him if he decided to be a female. It's hard to say since I have never been in the situation, but saying now it would be a No. And if I did decide to stay with him being a female, I don't think I could have sex with him anymore. But, I'm young still, so my preferences may change. I do find women attractive, but I like penises too much and find vaginas gross.

If my GF wanted to be a BF, it wouldn't matter to me whether she wanted to transition. As a bisexual male, either sex would be fine, because I know she is 'the one' for me, through and through.

I think the person is still the same person.

I think when you love someone, REALLY love them, their bodies shouldn't matter. As long as he remained, deep down inside, the same person I love now, I would support him and stick with him through it. It would be difficult in many ways, but I would do it.

It's hard to answer the question yes or no because you never know how you'll behave in a situation unless you're in it. I love deeply so once I'm committed to someone, I'm all the way. But I would hope they would reveal their feelings about this instead of waiting until I'm loving them as they are then deciding to change. It is their choice ultimately, no matter how I feel. Honesty is important and this is something you should discuss at some point. So, in summary, it would depend.

I would remain in the relationship if my husband still wanted to be married to me and go through that type of a change. It's a huge decision and I we'd both seek counseling and make sure it was the right choice for him, but I wouldn't turn my back on him because of it.

I wouldn't be able to stay in a relationship with that person but I would still care about and want that person to stay in my life.

Definitely.

If they were the one and I truly loved them more than anything I would.

I consider myself gay, but I don't like to totally shut off my options. If I really cared for a person, I'd like to think that I would just learn to be in a heterosexual relationship.

My girlfriend is going though her gender change while I am going through mine. It's perfect.

It would be pretty hypocritical if I wasn't ok with it

I'm very much in love with my SO. I wouldn't mind one bit. He'd still be the same person. I don't care about gender. I mean, I'm a lesbian with a guy after all.

My soon to be husband is FtM and I met him a month after he started hormones. I helped him to change his name, took care of him after surgery, and helped him change his gender marker. We have been together almost 5 years. His gender has never made me think or feel a certain eat about him. I love him for who he is. I feel that gender has nothing to do with who you are as a person. Honestly from what I hear from his family he acts the exact same now as he did before hormones and surgery. He is an amazing person inside and out. He is an amazing father and husband. I wouldn't trade him for the world.

I'd like to think that I'd stay with my partner no matter what. As long as he's still the same person on the inside. I'd just want him to be happy.

I would still love them, but I'm attracted to females so I don't think it would work

nope, most likely not.

if i love them.
not because it would be an issue for me, but gender change is big and stressful and i wouldnt put up with all the appointments and such if it was just for sex obviously

I'm not sure why the person would have to be "the one" for me to be okay with it. If I wind up dating someone and they are beginning to transition, are transitioning, or realise they need to transition, it doesn't matter if they are my "one" or not, I'd still stick with them for however long the relationship lasts. Gender doesn't matter to me, it's the person inside that does. And I don't believe people have to be madly in love to be in a relationship where one or both (or three, etc.) are transitioning. I don't see the transition having anything to do with the relationship.

I'm pretty confident my partner will never decide to switch genders but if he did I would have some concerns and I don't know if we'd be able to make it work.