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#AprilFools - My Hand

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Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
My Hand

I LOVE my Hand!
Pros: On hand at all times, packs of two, LIFELIKE!
Cons: Must wash before and after use: every time!

Summary:
Who needs the top of the line when you have the end of your wrist! The very FIRST sex toy ever is all you need to get off. Who really needs silicone, TPR, or any of those other fancy materials.

Use:
To be honest, I don't remember when I got my Hand(s), they've always been there. Currently, my Hand(s) are taken, so you'll have to ask my girlfriend if you can use my Hand(s). You can also get your own set. Each hand comes with 4 fingers and one thumb. These can be paired up, tripled up, etc.

Materials:
Mostly carbon based and extremely lifelike, my Hand(s) are made from genuine human flesh and bone. After about 29+ years, though, they do tend to pop and crack a bit more than they used to. They're still functional though. I also like that my Hand(s) require NO BATTERIES!

Cleaning:
When it comes to washing my Hand(s), simple soap and water works just fine. I would advise against bleach and the like. Harsh chemicals seem to react horridly with my Hand(s). Also, cleaning on the top shelf of the dishwasher isn't ideal either. Once removed, my Hand(s) are next to impossible to put back on. I've never removed mine, but I did see a movie once where a guy had his removed by his dad in a laser sword fight and had to get a fake one put on.

Packaging:
My Hand(s) have never had problem with my Package (another product I'll review at another time). They are 100% compatible with each other though.

Experience:
My Hand(s) is/are my go-to when it comes to well...you know. I love how I can do more than thing at once with them. They're very multifunctional. I've only used them with a single partner at a time, but I've used them one both myself and my partner at the same time. With my girlfriend being away at school most of the time, my Hand(s) have seen extensive use lately. I also use this lube almost exclusively.

My partner enjoys my Hand(s) a lot too, not just for sexual uses, but for neck/back massages too.

If I had to get a new set, I would absolutely get another set of Hand(s) if something where to happen to mine.
04/01/2010
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
Useful topic breakdown on Hands free:

.Handcrafted wooden dildo 317 – probe
no way would i trust wood wouldn't it hurt readdy bad

hand lotion
does anyone know where you can get now that EF has discontinued it?

Restraint with handcuffs, leather/etc vs. metal?
hey everyone. just curious on your thoughts and experiences on this one. i noticed theres some nylon/leather/etc cuffs on here, as well as the metal..

Best hand cuffs out there?
We really want some handcuffs but dont know which ones would be great to have, any hints?

Can the handle act as a dildo too for added length?
Any try this and know if the handle an act as a dildo too for added length?
04/01/2010
Contributor: Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro


I LOVE my Hand!
Pros: On hand at all times, packs of two, LIFELIKE!
Cons: Must wash before and after use: every time!

Summary:
Who needs the top of the line when you have the end of your wrist! The very FIRST sex toy ever is ... more
How are the functions? Does it have multiple speeds? Thanks for the review...
04/01/2010
Contributor: SydVicious SydVicious
How is the learning curve? Does it take awhile to figure this thing out when you first use it?
04/01/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Cinnamon
How are the functions? Does it have multiple speeds? Thanks for the review...
Well, it has a lot of functions. Way too many to list here. It picks things up. Shuffles things.

It does have multiple speeds, but no real rhythm.
04/01/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by SydVicious
How is the learning curve? Does it take awhile to figure this thing out when you first use it?
Well, I wish I could talk more about the learning curve. I've had the set for so long, I really don't remember how long it took me to get used to it...3 years maybe?
04/01/2010
Contributor: LikeSunshineDust LikeSunshineDust
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro


I LOVE my Hand!
Pros: On hand at all times, packs of two, LIFELIKE!
Cons: Must wash before and after use: every time!

Summary:
Who needs the top of the line when you have the end of your wrist! The very FIRST sex toy ever is ... more
What are the dimensions?

Rating: useful (And that's totally a bad thing. You should take offense.)
04/01/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by LikeSunshineDust
What are the dimensions?

Rating: useful (And that's totally a bad thing. You should take offense.)
It's funny you brought that up. My Hand(s) does have a feature to let people know what I think about them! Totally psychic! The middle finger (or phalange) extends itself to the people who upset you.

The dimensions of my Hand(s) are ~8" long ~4" wide. The two middle figures are both just over 3" long.
04/01/2010
Contributor: Victoria Victoria
Total insertable length? How do you store them? Thanks for your review! (heeheehee)
04/01/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
Total insertable length? How do you store them? Thanks for your review! (heeheehee)
The nice thing about my Hand(s) is that there is next to no limit on insertability, except for when you attache it to my Elbow(s) and my Shoulder(s). It's pretty much up to the user (in?).

My Hand(s) is/are are great because you don't have to store it/them. You can use them all day long and no one gets grossed out by seeing them.
04/01/2010
Contributor: Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
The nice thing about my Hand(s) is that there is next to no limit on insertability, except for when you attache it to my Elbow(s) and my Shoulder(s). It's pretty much up to the user (in?).

My Hand(s) is/are are great because you don't ... more
Sounds super discreet to me! Do you think they could pass an airport security checkpoint?
04/01/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
I've never actually flown commercially, but I see people in lines on the news get through all the time with their Hand(s).
04/01/2010
Contributor: Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
I've never actually flown commercially, but I see people in lines on the news get through all the time with their Hand(s).
That's good to know! Thanks for the review! Now I can have my own hands and not be caught in the airport lines like I am all of the time with those new high-tech vibrators. Makes them look like crap compared to my Hands!
04/01/2010
Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Thanks for the review! I need one of these, for sure. Wishlist!
04/01/2010
Contributor: Gardenvy Gardenvy
Mr sauce- What a great review, you sold me! Where can I get a set of these bad boys?! Oh wait.. I've got two sets already..
04/01/2010
Contributor: Gary Gary
I tried to boil mine once... bad idea Great Review!
04/01/2010
Contributor: Bill Ditchburn Bill Ditchburn
(Leatherbeaten)
How would you say these compare with feet? Are they largely interchangeable?
04/01/2010
Contributor: SexyTigerX SexyTigerX
I like that they don't require BATTERIES!

No way they should run out of energy, right Miss C.

How fun they sound! Great review!
04/01/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Bill Ditchburn
How would you say these compare with feet? Are they largely interchangeable?
That's kind of a touchy subject. Some people are very much against my Feet. They say they're really disgusting and icky. However, my Hand(s) have been in far worse places (like my Ass(tm)).

I find you get a lot more control and pleasure with my Hand(s) than my Feet.

thanks for asking!
04/01/2010
Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Can I use these with any lube? Great review!
04/01/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
Can I use these with any lube? Great review!
water, silicone, oil, hydro,naphtha, anything. Some materials my cause sensitivities, but I never know until it's too late.
04/01/2010
Contributor: 00 00
I really like the "Mostly carbon based and extremely lifelike" part. Very cute.
04/01/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro


I LOVE my Hand!
Pros: On hand at all times, packs of two, LIFELIKE!
Cons: Must wash before and after use: every time!

Summary:
Who needs the top of the line when you have the end of your wrist! The very FIRST sex toy ever is ... more
You and Jewgasm, are my two newest heroes.
04/01/2010
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
This is great!
04/01/2010
Contributor: MuffysPinguLove MuffysPinguLove
I absolutely loved this! Great job
04/01/2010
Contributor: Kynky Kytty Kynky Kytty
Quote:
Originally posted by Bill Ditchburn
How would you say these compare with feet? Are they largely interchangeable?
Excellent question!
04/01/2010
Contributor: jewgasm jewgasm
Can you either confirm or deny the myth of potential hair growth on the palm region of said hand? If you can not see if this is an issue because you have gone blind, can you feel any hair there? Thank you.
04/02/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
What is your opinion of condom useage on your hand(s)? Should Hand(s) be shared? Remember to wash thenm thoroughly after playing anally...you should never insert the phalanges of hand(s) into the rectum and then the mouth or vagina. Safety first!

Great review!
04/02/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by jewgasm
Can you either confirm or deny the myth of potential hair growth on the palm region of said hand? If you can not see if this is an issue because you have gone blind, can you feel any hair there? Thank you.
There is no hair on the palm of my Hand(s). It has been rubbed dry (see above)
04/02/2010
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
It looks like there are red areas on your hand. They seem to have received a LOT of use lately.

Eight inches! I can't begin to tell you how much I like big hands.

Great review!
04/02/2010