At first I was afraid. I was petrified.

At first I was afraid. I was petrified.
When you said you had ten inches, Lord, I almost died!
But I'd spent so many years, just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong. And I knew that I could take you on.
But there you are, another lie!
I was ready for a Big Mac but you brought me a French fry!
I should have known that it was bullsh¡t,
just a sad pathetic dream.
Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans!
Go on now. Go! Walk out the door.
Don't you promise me ten inches then turn up with only four!
Weren't you a jerk to think I wouldn't find you out!?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size don't count?
I will survive! I will survive!
Cause as long as I have batteries
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!
It took all my self-control not to laugh out loud
When I saw your little wiener standing tall and proud!
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multi-speed!
I will survive! I will survive!
Cause as long as I have batteries
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!