As a survivor of sex abuse, it's hard for me to get intimate with anyone but myself. I know some survivors may get hypersexualized (for lack of a better term) and crave sex with others but this isn't the case for me. It's embarrassing to me, my lack of experience.

Sex used to not even be an option for me, but then I began to do "porn". It was (is) in a way liberating for me. I am in control. No one is with me. I touch myself. And people love me. It's nothing huge, just some cam work. Still, sex isn't something I really see in my future, and I don't know how to get past this.

I don't know if I want to.

Anyone else dealing / dealt with this?