I think it'd be a nice gesture. I mean, the only reason you're going without your bf is because he has work plans. Considering the situation, I don't think it'd be terribly awkward.

If you are a consistent person in his life then you will most likely be involved with them as well. Unless ther is some pre-dated weirdness between any of you, it shouldn't be weird! Go, have some cake and celebrate with them!

If you feel comfortable with it, go for it. My family is pretty mixed up too so I think it's pretty normal. =]

I need to side with standard etiquette. One doesn't bring uninvited guests to a party, under any circumstance. (You say "because of work" are you doing day care for the child? I'm really confused about the dynamics here.)

IMO, you have no idea how people feel about the ex side of the family (some people are kind enough not to diss the exes even when things aren't good between them) and bringing exes kids to events seems unnecessary.

The shower is for the mother-to-be's new child. Not for the guests' convenience. I am sure she doesn't want awkwardness at her own shower and I'm sure the people hosting the shower don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable, or to have something there for the other guests to gossip about later. (And you know people will gossip, as people love to do.)

If you can't attend with only the people listed on the invitation, send a gift (if you like) and then send your regrets at not being able to be there in person. Simply saying, "I'm so sorry, I have to work that day. Although, if I didn't I would be there with you on this special day." Often both etiquette and dynamics require us to miss events we would like to go to.

I have a great idea! Why don't you call and ask either the step-daughter or the ex-wife? That will probably save everyone a headache in the long run.

You could also spin it to make it seem like you're going as a representative of your boyfriend since he can't go and you want to be able to give him the details of the shower so he feels like he was there.

I think as long as they are aware that you are coming and ya'll seem to have an amicable relationship. I agree with Sapphire, If you are in doubt, call them and see how they feel about it.

Facebook friends? Send a card...

If you were all invited I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to go. Sapphire Storm has a great idea too, and that's what I would do if you weren't entirely sure about whether or not you should go. Realistically it'd be up to the step daughter and the ex, so go ahead and give them a call just to double check

I think you've been given some great advice: just call and ask.

Thanks for all the posts!

To clear a few things up... EVERYONE was invited! Me, my daughter, my Bf's son, and my Bf.

I am friends w/the mom to be thru her step dad (my bf). Ive met her mom a few times and we have gotten along fine.

The only reason I felt odd was cuz my bf's sis in law called and asked if I was planning on going... She kind of stirred the pot w/akwardness. I am friends w/her too.

I do believe, as I would tell anyone involved in my life... Im an adult. Im a nice person. I treat others the way I want to be treated. Im honest and dont lie. So if people have a problem w/me, they need to address me directly.

I just wanted to see how other people felt about this situation and appreciate everyone's input. = )

I look at it like you are going with your family... the other labels are unnecessary.