Jaded?

Jaded?

Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
So I was getting set to write a review the other day and I had a thought.

When I got my first vibrator it was a traditional, hard plastic, two C battery taking, noisy as hell piece of junk. And I was THRILLED with it.

Twenty years later I'm writing reviews and feeling sort of jaded.

With all the advancements in materials and sensations and vibrations and shapes and sizes I can only imagine how I'd have felt if my first vibe had been as "cool" as some of the ones I now own.

Which makes me wonder...

Does anyone else feel like we may not be as objective as we could be? Especially when someone who's never used a vibrator before is reading our reviews? Would the stuff that leaves us feeling "ho hum" now-a-days have been mind blowing if it had been our first?

And yet if we review things from the perspective of the newbie we may set the experienced (and jaded?) up for disappointment.

Maybe some of these poorly written customer comments and less than perfect basic reviews are a good thing, if for no other reason than they may give a less jaded viewpoint?

Just something I'm pondering today. I so totally, totally don't mean this to be inflammatory or insulting or directed at anyone personally so please don't take it as a personal insult or a put down on the review program or whatever. It's just some thoughts. K? Thanks.
01/19/2009
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Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
I do agree that we become more jaded with the "traditional cheap fare" as we go on. With a few exceptions, I tend to find loud, jelly, battery-operated vibrators somewhat suspect these days.

I think that being jaded helps newbies in the long run, however, since so few of them know a lot about sex toys or material safety. We may ruin the thrill of a toy for a newbie, but hopefully, they'll turn away from the not-so-safe $20 and spend the money on a more satisfying toy that will last them longer, like a Gigi. Considering many people never own more than one vibrator at a time, I'd like to think that's a good thing. =D
01/19/2009
Nashville Nashville
Becoming sex toy connoisseurs, it's hard not to become sex toy snobs. EF has spoiled me to silicone, glass, aluminum so when I'm introduced to a jelly, rubber, or toy of a lesser quality I have to make sure I don't turn my nose up at it.

Our job is to review that toy as we would any other- with the exception that we cover it with a condom, etc. When writing reviews and introducing a particular sex toy to someone who's never bought a sex toy before, we need to make sure we discuss if it's an unsafe material or contains phthalates.

If anything, we've learned what feels really good for us- the forums has also helped us learn what feels really good for others. I think our increase of knowledge really lets us separate the great toys from the not so great toys. The fact that we become very particular with what we like (including materials) means that we're becoming experienced reviewers who know what they want and know what works.

Regardless of me being spoiled to vibrators that cost over $100, I still have my cheap little favorites.. one of which is the Eager Beaver. A very simple jelly toy in the $25 price range.
01/19/2009
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
I do agree that we become more jaded with the "traditional cheap fare" as we go on. With a few exceptions, I tend to find loud, jelly, battery-operated vibrators somewhat suspect these days.

I think that being jaded helps newbies in ...
I remember one vibrator days.

When it burned out you had to actually go to the porn store and buy a new one while the guys in the pay per view video booths stared at you all creepy like.

Eeek!
01/19/2009
Anica Anica
I was a 'newbie' when I came to EF...all the experience i had was to fix my damn kegals...lol...and a small bullet and a pair of plastic handcuffs.

So, I try to keep that in mind, for instance, I read all the product inserts to see what the manufacturer is telling customers.

I do like to read the more experienced reviews, especially when trying something new.
01/19/2009
Miss KissThis Miss KissThis
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
I remember one vibrator days.

When it burned out you had to actually go to the porn store and buy a new one while the guys in the pay per view video booths stared at you all creepy like.

Eeek!
I remember these days as well.

As I'm starting to become jaded (spoiled, perhaps?) I'm also becoming more knowledgeable. EF has led to me making more body-safe choices, which will always be viewed as a good thing.

I will try to keep this in mind when writing reviews (Sleeping Dreamer touched on that really well). Thanks for mentioning it!
01/19/2009
Tuesday Tuesday
I wouldn't say I'm jaded, but I do wish I could go back and re-rate a few items I reviewed earlier.
01/19/2009
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss KissThis
I remember these days as well.

As I'm starting to become jaded (spoiled, perhaps?) I'm also becoming more knowledgeable. EF has led to me making more body-safe choices, which will always be viewed as a good thing.

I will try to ...
Spoiled is a good word.

I actually started thinking about all this when I was looking over a "silver bullet" type toy.

I was all set to say what a cheap, noisy piece of crap it is when I realized it gets me off every damned time. For ten dollars. And that I occasionally even choose it over some of my more expensive/preferred toys just because it is so quick and efficient.

And it just got me to thinking about how often I do that; immediately poo poo something that's not high quality. And then I started testing myself to see if I really could be objective. And I got to thinking... is my 400 word review on this really all that much better (other than including safety info) than the dude who typed "it's kewl my wif luvs it cums every time" in the customer comments?

Now obviously my review IS better - so long as I CAN maintain objectivity - but all that thinking got me to thinking what other folks think.



And I've had way, way too much coffee today.
01/19/2009
Snappy Snappy
I'm very particular about my sex toys now. I don't bother with questionable materials or ingredients AT ALL and I wouldn't waste a cent on a mediocre product. I've found that you get what you pay for where sex toys are concerned. Owning high-quality products has set the bar higher for me.
01/19/2009
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Quote:
Originally posted by Snappy
I'm very particular about my sex toys now. I don't bother with questionable materials or ingredients AT ALL and I wouldn't waste a cent on a mediocre product. I've found that you get what you pay for where sex toys are concerned. ...
I'm actually the same way with BDSM toys. Less so with "regular" sex toys.

I wonder why that is...

More to ponder! Lol
01/19/2009
Sammi Sammi
I've gotten a bit jaded over the years, as well as gotten more particular with the toys I choose. But sometimes the little toys are fantastic - you can have my egg vibe when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers!

I'm getting much more jaded doing porn dvd reviews.
01/20/2009
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Quote:
Originally posted by Sammi
I've gotten a bit jaded over the years, as well as gotten more particular with the toys I choose. But sometimes the little toys are fantastic - you can have my egg vibe when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers!

I'm getting much more ...
I hear ya on that one.

I'm so jaded about my porn it's crazy.
01/20/2009
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
I try not to be but, yea, spoiled a bit as well.
01/20/2009
Epiphora Epiphora
This is a really interesting topic, but I have to say I disagree with you quite a bit. If every plastic, middle-of-the-road vibrator got great reviews, it would be even harder for consumers to make decisions. You mentioned that "less than perfect" reviews sometimes offer a more positive view on the toy, and hey, that's cool too. But if someone goes to my blog or my contributor page, they'll know that I've tried a good number of toys and my standards are higher than they were when I began. I personally believe that is a good thing, and that anyone who is serious about toys should eventually rise above jelly and even TPR silicone.

As for us not being "objective," these are sex toy reviews. They're never gonna be objective (unless they're description reviews). Everyone has different experiences with toys. A lot of people talk about the Hitachi like it's god -- I've barely used mine since I got it because it's too strong for me. Some people love the We Vibe, while others say it doesn't work or isn't strong enough. This split is prevalent in cock ring reviews, too, because some women can get off from the vibrations of watch batteries. I certainly can't. The point is, there is no way anyone can write a truly objective review of a sex toy, and I don't think having more experience with toys makes us somehow "less objective." I think it makes us more experienced, and thus more knowledgeable, and more able to recognize good toys and bad ones. And by "good" I don't mean universally good, but admittedly, there are toys made of better materials than others, toys that are nice and quiet, etc. Certain traits that most people recognize as positive. Since we've played with more toys, we know when something is far too loud, amazingly quiet, interestingly textured unlike anything we've felt, etc. Basically, I think the more toys a person tries, the better he/she will be at reviewing.

You asked, "Would the stuff that leaves us feeling "ho hum" now-a-days have been mind blowing if it had been our first?" And to that I say maybe, but we know which toys actually ARE mindblowing, so why not recommend those instead?

Also, I try to mention it in my reviews when I feel that a toy would be well-suited to beginners. And my favorite clitoral vibe is a $30 Cal Exotics vibe. I know when a vibe is better than your run-of-the-mill $15 vibe, and I think that is definitely a good thing rather than a bad thing.
01/20/2009
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
"You asked, "Would the stuff that leaves us feeling "ho hum" now-a-days have been mind blowing if it had been our first?" And to that I say maybe, but we know which toys actually ARE mindblowing, so why not recommend those instead? "

I dunno. That plain old plastic piece of crap WAS mindblowing when I first got it. Way, way better than grinding against an electric razor buried in a pillow.

I have no objection to people recommending "better" toys. That wasn't the point at all.

I was just pondering on the days when less was satisfying. And wondering if anyone else almost felt too qualified to appreciate the "crappier" stuff.

Hell, I don't even own any really great stuff. Compared to some of you I'm still happy with way less.

And I kind of like it that way.

It's sort of like how we really enjoyed Hershey bars as kids until we had a Dove bar. And then that first box of See's ruined the dove bar. There's absolutely nothing wrong with never moving beyond Hershey if that's what you like and can afford.

And, in all honesty, I very often DO look at the really bad customer comments just as seriously as the reviews - especially if I know the reviewer has done a lot of really high end toys. I haven't and don't have those to compare to so that "wow, excellent vibe, dude, my clit almost exploded" is just as valuable, at times, as the long review.

And, to me, that's a good thing. I'm glad EF is run the way it is, with so many different types of reviews and perspectives. And I hope those who are new to toys read them all and make their decisions based on what revs them up, not our sometimes jaded views and opinions that only "better" is any good.


Like I said from the get go. This isn't meant to be inflammatory at all. Just some thoughts and me wondering how others feel.
01/21/2009
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
"You asked, "Would the stuff that leaves us feeling "ho hum" now-a-days have been mind blowing if it had been our first?" And to that I say maybe, but we know which toys actually ARE mindblowing, so why not recommend those ...
"And I hope those who are new to toys read them all and make their decisions based on what revs them up, not our sometimes jaded views and opinions that only "better" is any good"

That should have read not JUST our sometimes jaded.... etc.
01/21/2009
Epiphora Epiphora
And I'm saying that I am capable of appreciating cheap toys, too. But there are so many of them, and only some of them are anything special. If someone told me they wanted to spend $15 on a vibrator, I would instantly recommend the Turbo Glider. If they said $30, I would say the Xtreme Pack. I have helped friends choose a (cheapish) toy on EF based on their own specifications.

But just because a toy vibrates doesn't mean it's amazing. So I don't trust any review that worships a toy because it gave someone an orgasm.
01/21/2009
Nashville Nashville
Quote:
Originally posted by Epiphora
This is a really interesting topic, but I have to say I disagree with you quite a bit. If every plastic, middle-of-the-road vibrator got great reviews, it would be even harder for consumers to make decisions. You mentioned that "less than ...
You hit the nail on the end 100%.
01/21/2009
Nashville Nashville
Quote:
Originally posted by Nashville
You hit the nail on the end 100%.
on the head** goddammit.. too much cough syrup. I hate flu season!
01/21/2009
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Well, I guess that's why it's good EF has all sorts of different reviewers with different opinions and views.

We all give something, in our way, that benefits the customer.

Very cool to know some folks don't feel jaded. Very cool that our differences, in the end, make for a more varied experience base that helps the customer more than it would if we all thought and felt the same.

A wee bit uncool that simple customer comments are less appreciated but, hell, so long as EF appreciates them that's all that really matters.

I know hearing everyone's thoughts has sure enlightened me!
01/21/2009
Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
If a cheap toy is really great, I'll say so. There's no denying that. But I WILL knock it down a peg or two if it's made from unsafe materials, is difficult to clean, is noisy, etcetera.
01/21/2009
Total posts: 21
Unique posters: 10