please help me find the right gift for a handicap family member in dire need of sexual relief.

So I have been reading on the site about handicap Individuals, and their sexual needs.

I have a brother who is in his mid twenties. He has a physical and mental handicap, due to a life long spinal deformity and botched surgery on the spine and brain stem. He works, but lives under parental care, as he is limited in physical mobility and can't drive. He lives in a very rural area and has little access to socializing. He expresses his sexual frustration to me very frequently. I live over 2000 miles away so I can't just take him out for a good time.

My mother, his primary care giver, is a very "anti-sexual" person and doesn't allow "pornography" in her home. She also constantly tries to enforce upon him that masturbation is evil, wrong, a disease, the devils vice, ect. and so forth.

What is your best recommendation of a male toy for someone in his shoes?

The main criteria:
1. easy to hide and or discreet, but reusable (no tenga cups)
2. extremely easy to clean and care for due to his physical disability.
3. durable and safe material.

Thank you for reading and responding to this, I know of no other community I would trust to help out with such a personal problem. less

So I have been reading on the site about handicap Individuals, and their sexual needs.

I have a brother who is in his mid twenties. He has a physical and mental handicap, due to a life long spinal deformity and botched surgery on the spine and brain stem. He works, but lives under parental care, as he is limited in physical mobility and can't drive. He lives in a very rural area and has little access to socializing. He expresses his sexual frustration to me very frequently. I live over 2000 miles away so I can't just take him out for a good time.

My mother, his primary care giver, is a very "anti-sexual" person and doesn't allow "pornography" in her home. She also constantly tries to enforce upon him that masturbation is evil, wrong, a disease, the devils vice, ect. and so forth.

What is your best recommendation of a male toy for someone in his shoes?

The main criteria:
1. easy to hide and or discreet, but reusable (no tenga cups)
2. extremely easy to clean and care for due to his physical disability.
3. durable and safe material.

Thank you for reading and responding to this, I know of no other community I would trust to help out with such a personal problem. less

I think the Head Honcho should be worthy of consideration. It weighs less, is less bulky, is easier to care for, and takes less lube to use than Fleshlights. If you think he is more well endowed, the Super Head Honcho is only a dollar more.
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Fleshlights are supposed to be easy to hide because of the inconspicuous packaging, but they are so big that I think they are harder to stash. less

Thanks for the suggestions, the fleshlight is absolutely ruled out. So far I'm leaning towards Jimbos suggestion of the head honcho. I love my super head Honcho and I imagine the standard version is pretty good as well. Maybe that and a bottle of maximus if only he can find a way to hide it. He get his "adult magazines and videos" confiscated on a regular basis. Thanks for all the input. less

Thanks for the suggestions, the fleshlight is absolutely ruled out. So far I'm leaning towards Jimbos suggestion of the head honcho. I love my super head Honcho and I imagine the standard version is pretty good as well. Maybe that and a bottle of maximus if only he can find a way to hide it. He get his "adult magazines and videos" confiscated on a regular basis. Thanks for all the input. less

WOW! Why all the hating on the Fleshlight?

It's quite simply the best product I've ever used, discreet enough if you stick it in a cupboard or drawer and infinitely superior to any sleeve I've tried.

As for cleaning - I have to disagree with Beautiful Dreamer. They come apart into separate pieces and can be cleaned quickly and simply... The only problem is letting it 'dry out' which is the same with any sleeve.

EF does tend to be a website dominated by female reviewers, so I'd just like to throw in my 2c AS A MAN. The Fleshlight is an outstanding product I certainly don't think it should be ruled out so quickly. less

The reviewers here who voiced their opinions all have direct experience with Fleshlights and their upkeep (myself excluded, but I noted that in my comment). Their opinions on that front are no less valid than yours just because they happen to be female. less

Oh, Good God. I seem to remember us having a debate in which you invalidated an entire gender's opinions just a few days earlier - I thought we'd said 'truce?'

I actually wrote a VERY snotty response, but in the interests of diplomacy, I deleted it. Suffice to say, I think a man's opinion of a Fleshlight is probably more useful than a woman's, while a woman's opinion of a rabbit vibrator is probably more useful than a man's. I'm not saying either gender can't make pertinent, interesting comments about either product - I'm just saying that the product's intended audience is probably the audience for whom the product was intended.

I will bite my tongue and instead explain why I think the Fleshlight is simply the best masturbation product out there. Tunic can make his own mind up.

1: The rigid shell makes it MUCH easier to handle/use than floppy, fleshy sleeves or fake vaginas that can get sloppy with lube and difficult to hold.

2: The length is enough to accomodate the entire penis. Most sleeves 'bottom out' at just four inches or so, meaning the top of your dick pokes out the end.

3: All sleeves and toys need to be cleaned. The easiest products to clean (like the silicone Redheaded Slut I just reviewed) aren't going to be the best products to use. The Fleshlight is pretty good compared to others.

4: The only other product that comes close to being as pleasurable is the CyberSkin Cyber Sex buddy, which is, again, too short and hardly discrete because it looks like a fleshy, disembodied vagina. The rest simply don't feel as good.

I have used a variety of different sleeves. The Fleshlight is the best - in my opinion.

Tunic's a smart person and knows his brother best of all, so I'm sure he'll look at all of our opinions and judge them each individually. I just wanted to jump to the Fleshlight's defence because I detected a kind of 'oh, it's so mainstream, we don't think it's cool anymore' vibe and I don't think that's fair.

You know what? That TV show Friends stopped being 'cool' after the fifth season, but it still doesn't mean it wasn't one of our favorite shows to watch in secret (even if we didn't want to admit it to our 'cool' friends.)



The Double Comfort

In my opinion, all sleeves are inferior to the Fleshlight - inherently so. The Fleshlight is a very well designed, practical tool that does the job for which it was envisioned perfectly. Sleeves always seem to involve compromises. They're too short. They're too small. They're too firm. less

Oh boy.

First of all, I believe his handle is Tantric.

Second of all, it has always been clear that you completely missed the point of my posts on that other thread. It's also not appropriate to bring it up here.

Third of all, your post on this thread is the one that invalidated the opinions of an entire gender. A man's opinion on how easy a rabbit vibrator is to clean and hide would be equally useful to a woman's. The point of Tantric's post was to determine the best sleeve for use by a person with a disability, with a variety of considerations in mind. You took into account none of those considerations. Other people have pointed out cleaning, hiding, and usage concerns, all of which are totally valid points regardless of the gender of the contributor. You're entitled to your opinion, of course, but your posts read like odes to the Fleshlight, and that's not what Tantric asked for. You don't seem to be taking the specifics of the situation into account: this isn't a thread about what the "best" penis sleeve is.

You're the one with gender invalidating problems, and I'll kindly ask you to stop. Let's stay on topic, please. less

Not trying to start any debates here, Just looking for some good 'ol feedback. He does have slightly limited dexterity in his hands but he can deal with screw on caps and flip tops. I still feel the pump lube is the best idea though, and have pretty much made up my mind on Maximus.

In fact I would let him pick it out himself but my mother doesn't even believe in the internet so he has no access to the web.

Not make any one feel bad, but Friends was NEVER a cool show. Viva la Simpsons!!! less

Don't get me wrong, the Fleshlights are pretty amazing in many ways, my only point was about size. They are very large in comparison to other masturbation devices. It would be much harder to tuck a Fleshlight into the back of a drawer than it would be to do the same with a Head Honcho. Also, the Fleshlight costs 3x as much, so if the concern is mom finding it and throwing it out, the Head Honcho wins that as well. One could argue that the Fleshlight is a better toy for masturbation, but I think it is actually less discrete and costs much more. At least the plain front one would be harder to determine what it was for, but I think Fleshlight written on the side might give it away. One could just purchase a sleeve from their website, which would also be cheaper, but I think they are usually better inside the hard case. less

Cost is a huge factor - my first car cost less than a Fleshlight!

Do they have fleshlight written on the side? I thought mine just has plain white casing.

I read on one blog of a guy who stuck the label from a bottle of Toilet Duck on the side of his fleshlight and keeps it in the bathroom in plain view - it just looks like a funky bottle of toilet cleaner. less

WOW! Why all the hating on the Fleshlight?

It's quite simply the best product I've ever used, discreet enough if you stick it in a cupboard or drawer and infinitely superior to any sleeve I've tried.

As for cleaning - I have to disagree with Beautiful Dreamer. They come apart into separate pieces and can be cleaned quickly and simply... The only problem is letting it 'dry out' which is the same with any sleeve.

EF does tend to be a website dominated by female reviewers, so I'd just like to throw in my 2c AS A MAN. The Fleshlight is an outstanding product I certainly don't think it should be ruled out so quickly. less

It's hard to see in photos, because it is the same color as the rest of the sleeve, but it is in raised lettering running up the side of the sleeve.
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Maybe they have had sleeves in the past that didn't have the words, but I think they all have them now.
Re-labeling is an interesting and possibly humorous solution to that problem. less