The New Intimacy

12 year olds doing it?

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Contributor: jedent jedent
spoke with a 12 year old girl yesterday (fiance's sister) who told me she'd had sex with her boyfriend. i'm not entirely sure that she's telling the truth, just by the way she'd answer questions, for example when i asked how old her boyfriend was she said "14, or wait, like 13." and that she told me she used 4 condoms all at the same time.

look, i've never even tried to double up on condoms but i've heard it's not good for their structural integrity, and certainly 4 can't be a good idea, nor can i imagine anyone could feel anything.

whether she's telling the truth or not, i'm not sure. but what kind of pressure must there be on 12 year olds to either have sex or lie about having sex? i'm 28 and from so cal and when i was 12 there wasn't a lot of pressure like that at least till we were 14 or 15.

and yes i do realize that 12 year olds do it all the time, it just kind of boggles my mind.

i've given her pamphlets in the past about her period (no mom and dad's a drunk woman hater) and yes i did explain to her about how using more than one condom isn't really productive, that condom + pull out would be the safest bet.

what's your opinion? any advice i could throw at her?
11/15/2011
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Contributor: Kkay Kkay
link

By and large the best sex education site I've found. It's where I went for my information when I was her age, and being able to get a perspective like that was invaluable. It'd also allow her to peruse things at her own pace and without feeling the need to posture.
11/15/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Doubling up on condoms isn't actually a bad practice, if they are lambskin condoms. Anything else is probably just a waste of money, more than anything else.

Sounds like she's definitely heading in that direction. But, she probably sees you as a "cool" adult and she wants to be a part of the adult world that comes with sex.

Catch her off guard one day and see how her answers change.
11/15/2011
Contributor: jedent jedent
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Doubling up on condoms isn't actually a bad practice, if they are lambskin condoms. Anything else is probably just a waste of money, more than anything else.

Sounds like she's definitely heading in that direction. But, she probably ... more
see her answer had already changed from when we first talked about sex a month or so ago. back then it was "saving it for marriage." but then her answer yesterday...

also she's known to be a bit of a fibber, which i understand is her way of controlling her environment in the only way she can.

i kind of found truth in that she's probably trying to be "cool" and "adult" with me by talking about sex. i dont pry for details. i'm not sure how important it would be.

the whole thing came up because we'd said something about someone we know being pregnant and she goes "i'm pretty sure i'm not pregnant." i said "well there's only one way to know for sure that you're not, and that's if you didn't have sex. did you have sex?" that's when she said yes.
11/15/2011
Contributor: GenderSexplorations GenderSexplorations
Four condoms at once? Definitely sounds like she's trying to seem mature and grown up. I doubt she's actually done anything that she says. But I agree that if you catch her off-guard you can probably get the truth if you're really wanting to know.
11/15/2011
Contributor: AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
12?? Oh my! I have a 12 year old. That makes me shudder!
11/15/2011
Contributor: GravyCakes GravyCakes
i could believe they would use 4 condoms at once. not a lot of kids that age understand that you're not supposed to use more than one at a time. i've seen kids in like 1st or 2nd grade making remarks that were entirely too inappropriate for a child that age.
11/15/2011
Contributor: jedent jedent
Quote:
Originally posted by AngelvMaynard
12?? Oh my! I have a 12 year old. That makes me shudder!
believe me, i'm not thrilled to know that she's either doing it or lying about doing it. but i obviously don't want to judge her or freak out on her or anything. i'm obviously someone she wants to confide in.
11/15/2011