Quote:
Originally posted by
Jul!a
I (unsurprisingly) agree with most of this.
I do think that there's a bad habit mostly among the younger crowd, but I don't think it fully encompasses any one specific group of people, to leave when things start to get rough or
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I (unsurprisingly) agree with most of this.
I do think that there's a bad habit mostly among the younger crowd, but I don't think it fully encompasses any one specific group of people, to leave when things start to get rough or boring. I have a bad habit of getting bored with things quickly, and I do think that a huge part of what's helped with my husband is that we spend every day together so I don't have time to get bored with the idea of him. I know it may seem backwards that spending time with him keeps me from getting bored with him, but I like to think it's a combination of always seeing each other and being the right people for each other.
I'll also admit that sure, there are times where I sometimes wish life had gone differently and I wasn't settled down, but I also think that a lot of people wonder "what if" even if they're completely happy, not for a longing for something different but for curiosity's sake. I think that part of the reason that relationships seem to fail when people get bored, start to wonder "what if," and then go off to find out "what if;" ending their relationship in the process.
I also agree with beck's statement of "Honestly I think people have the itch it is just whether or not you go ahead and do it. I just do not think there is a time frame, some get bored faster and others hardly do." I think she probably summed it up better than I could, but I wanted to share my feelings anyway.
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And I, not surprisingly, agree with you about spending every day together.
I guess I stumble when it comes to the theory that people leave or seek new things when they're bored because I ultimately do not expect anyone to be an entertainment center for me. If I can't keep myself occupied and interested in something, how can I expect someone else to? I think it's definitely a two-way street, though. You have to be an interesting person to keep someone interested.
I always try to approach it like this:
Love is love, no matter the cost or the weight you have to bear. If you feel it's worth it, then you have an obligation to yourself to see how it ends.
Hatred is not the opposite of love, indifference is. If there's ever a point in the relationship where you honestly can look at your significant other and say "I don't care what happens to you or where you go, just get away from me", then it's over.
If it's not okay, it's not over. If there's nothing left to fight for, or there was never anything to fight for in the first place, then I can totally see severing ties and just letting each other walk away. But, I honestly, with all my heart, believe that is so very rarely the case when it comes to relationships.
Kind of off topic, but not really: Whenever I read relationship questions or problems and responders take one side (usually the female's), I wonder why they never ask what part of it
she owns. Did she do everything she could to keep the bedroom hot and make her significant other feel special, needed and loved? Did she refuse his attempts to make her feel the same due to a petty hurt that's long been in the past?
Eh, I guess I'm spoiled. I've had to fight harder than a lot of people in relationships. We fought against family, friends, strangers...medical catastrophies and countless episodes of finanicial destitution. At the end of the day, I still *liked* him. And when I didn't *like* him, I knew I loved him and that (as cliche as it is) this too shall pass.
People are flawed. Some cheat. Some say stupid things. Some do stupid things. It doesn't mean that they aren't deserving of love, it just means they need a slap in the face and a support system to get over what they've done.
