ANYONE, Would you talk to someone just to gain something in return?

Set alerts

Updates

LusciousLollypop

I just had a guy, obviously an idiot, add me on skype. I am not sure how he got my skype or why he added me. He doesn't even know where he found my skype name, ect ect. So, I've been trying to figure it out, ya know?

I asked him, why do you even talk to me if you don't know me?

He said "I talk to you because you talk to me"
I said "oh, thanks. now I feel super special"
He said "why else would I talk to you?"

He said "i mean it's not like you're sucking my dick or sending me naked pictures. if you were doing that, then that'd be the reason. but you're not, so I talk to you when you talk to me"

And I was like.. WTF. Who do you think you are.

He said "I have no reason to talk to anyone unless I have something to gain. Whether that something is entertainment, enjoyment (Sexually or intellectually, or otherwise), or the like"

How would you feel if someone said that to you in person and is that really what guys in general think? Would you feel like you were just.. nothing? I don't feel that way but I wonder what guys think when they say things like that. Are we just their little toys that they can play with? Do they think we are disposable? It is a good question.

Shouldn't those statements be kept in the mind of a guy and never let out? Do guys even feel that way?

Vote/Explain away!

Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):

Feel like I was just some toy/disposable!

LusciousLollypop , reinkaos , K101 , GONE! , mpfm , Feisty , Ryuson , js250 , Beck , DustBunny , *Camoprincess* , sparksrebbecca , KyotoAngel , Sam I Am , pootpootpoot

Felt like I was just played!

pootpootpoot

Slap him in the face!

LusciousLollypop , reinkaos , K101 , GONE! , mpfm , Feisty , Ryuson , Beck , Badass , *Camoprincess* , sparksrebbecca , KyotoAngel , Sam I Am , Nirelan , LoveYouLikeThat , Peaches2000

Walk away!

Feisty , js250 , M.O.'s Girl , Waterlily , Beck , Terri69 , DustBunny , 31 Flavors , ghent529 , sparksrebbecca , Sam I Am , dv8 , pootpootpoot , Nirelan , Peaches2000

I'm a girl and I think that way too! It isn't mean!

xilliannax

I'm a guy and I think that way too! It isn't mean!

Is this really what guys think? Please Explain!

K101 , BG529

Other - Please Explain!

Jake'n'bake , ViVix , G&L , js250 , El-Jaro , ghent529 , deltalima , Peggi , Talena

Total votes: 59 (34 voters)

Poll is closed

05/17/2012

All promotions

LusciousLollypop

Really, Do men generally think the same in this type of statement? I'm seriously like.. WTF.

Vote away!

05/17/2012

Jake'n'bake

I'd flip my shit, haha. Maybe not slap- I punch, not open-palm it, but that would only be if he/she said something EXTREMELY rude, like "i'm only talking to you so you'll (insert sexual act here to me.) :|

at the very least I'd block them...

05/17/2012

K101

Quote:

Originally posted by LusciousLollypop

Not only should guys "keep those thoughts in their heads and not let em' out," they shouldn't even be thinking that way in the first place! Something must be wrong. I don't understand talking to someone for that sole purpose unless you're really addicted to sex. Didn't he say he talks to people for intellectual reasons too? That is understandable. I like talking to others on EF that have similar interests to me. I wouldn't talk to someone only to gain something though. I wouldn't even think like that. I have a pen-pal who I've never met and we write back and forth....she's a prisoner, lonely. And I LOVE our letters! They've actually become special to me and so has she. I do gain something from it--excitement, companionship. I chose to write her though because she was lonely and needed someone to cheer her up and help pass her time. That was my main reason, but I can't say I don't enjoy her letters just as much, if not more than she does mine. However, it has nothing to do with sex or using her. There's nothing I could really gain by talking to someone besides a little cheerfullness, learn something maybe and companionship. That's not things you use people for though... I don't anyways.

If you think he is definitely using you... maybe he seen a photo of you and is interested? I'd fly the coop! I'd be scared. I'm kinda a safety freak online.

05/17/2012

GONE!

Well, technically everyone talks to each other for some sort of social interaction but usually it isn't that perverted I like to think. D:
I talk to people because I like their company and I like to think the people I talk to feel the same way about me.

05/17/2012

ViVix

Quote:

Originally posted by LusciousLollypop

He's right on some level. We use each other to confirm our identities, to let off stress, blah blah, and so on. However, we also give back to that person. Also, he made himself sound like an @sshole for not knowing you and stating such things.

05/17/2012

G&L

Hey the guy is being honest which is a rarity in this day and age. So I would stop talking to him but not be to terribly insulted.

05/17/2012

Ryuson

(Review Program Mentor)

I talk to people because I enjoy their company, but I mean it's not entirely for entertainment. I suppose that social interaction IS a human need, but the fact that he insulted you by saying that he doesn't enjoy interacting with you or finds your conversations entertaining... That's the part that would upset me.

05/17/2012

js250

Every time you talk to someone you are getting something out of it, however I have never thought of that before reading it it black and white. I think he put it in a rude way, but was at least honest about his feelings. And most of human nature. However, I am not so sure I could talk to someone that blunt, analytical and rude. I prefer a bit of tact.

05/17/2012

Waterlily

He's a chauvinistic pig for even having the gall to type those thoughts out and hit "send." It's one thing to think it (heck, it crosses my mind) but to say that is offensive. Anonymity gives people such courage to say things... He may have been saying those things simply for effect, but regardless it was uncalled for. Continuing to engage in conversation ultimately is up to you - do YOU gain something from it? Entertainment maybe? If it DOES bother you, and make you more angry than amused, walk on sister, because it's not worth the energy to be annoyed.

05/17/2012

Terri69

This guy isn't just an asshole, he is the HOLE OF THE ASS!!!! Get rid of him, block him or whatever...

05/17/2012

31 Flavors

This guy is an asshole's asshole and makes the rest of us look bad. Walk away.

05/17/2012

BG529

I don't think all guys think this way. I think that Somes guys just ruin it for the bunch. and then give others a bad rap...

05/17/2012

Antipova

What a bizarre sense of entitlement... I wouldn't waste my time talking to a guy with such a selfish attitude.

I mean yes technically we talk with people where the friendships (used loosely) are mutually beneficial. But I think this guy's expectations are kind of warped.

05/17/2012

Badass

Quote:

Originally posted by Jake'n'bake

Exactly, in real life, they would get smacked.. the internet gives us another option, blocking and ignoring.

05/17/2012

Beck

He must be going around trying to get whatever he wants from the first person who will give it to him. I wouldn't waste my time. I'd flick him off and move on.

05/17/2012

BBW Talks Toys

Quote:

Originally posted by LusciousLollypop

Really, Do men generally think the same in this type of statement? I'm seriously like.. WTF.

Vote away!

stuff like this is the reason that I don't talk to anyone I don't know online. It's one thing to get to know someone on a website or forum for a while, when you find you have a connection or chemistry, before you add them on Skype or AIM or whatever you use. But to meet random people to chat with? I haven't done that since I met Mr. He was the last. I don't know why anyone thinks that chatting automatically means something sexual. It's dumb.

05/17/2012

xilliannax

Quote:

Originally posted by LusciousLollypop

Theres no such thing as a selfish act, everything we do for a reason and i think that was what he was going on about... stupidly but i think thats the point he was trying to make

05/17/2012

BBW Talks Toys

Quote:

Originally posted by xilliannax

Theres no such thing as a selfish act, everything we do for a reason and i think that was what he was going on about... stupidly but i think thats the point he was trying to make

Do you mean "selfless"?

There are plenty of selfish acts.

05/17/2012

Jaimes

There is a common phrase you must ask yourself when you talk to anyone outside of yourself. Heck, I'd go ahead and ask it to yourself when you are having a rich conversation in the third person... Cui bono? To whose advantage, or, who benefits?

If you want to get super technical, any time we communicate vocally or through body language, we have an objective in mind. We have a need that we are using language to fulfill. Ask actors how they figure out how to speak their lines in a way that captures a real person, rather than a fleshy tape recorder. They look for the objectives. They look for who benefits and why.

Yes, he was a bit blunt, and given his crude statement at the beginning of the conversation, he doesn't sound like the nicest or most polite of fellows. But, selfish and rude as it may be, he was VERY honest with you.

While his attitude may not win him many friends, he freely admits his motivations. Can't blame him for it, it's his choice to make. You can just choose to avoid it, especially if it isn't something that benefits you.

Ask yourself: Cui bono?

05/17/2012

indiglo

No, not all guys think that way. I'd just block the guy and move on.

As someone else mentioned, that's why I would NEVER just talk to random people online. Too many creepers out there.

Although, his honesty is refreshing! Just make sure to believe him now that he's told you who he is.

05/17/2012

LusciousLollypop

@Everyone,

I didn't know this poll/forum post would get the reaction it did.
I really do love all of your opinions. Of course I stopped talking to him! LOL I just wanted to know what you thought of it all and if it happened in person to you or that is how people acted in person toward a female, how would you react? A good slap in the face. As most of you did point out, it was very blunt but brutally honest. Someone that you DON'T KNOW came up to you and said that. Is that what our society is coming to? You all make excellent points. I'm glad that this was a real discussion. Thank you everyone!

05/17/2012

ghent529

No not all "boys" are like that... soooo childish

05/17/2012

deltalima

Quote:

Originally posted by LusciousLollypop

Personally, if you weren't giving him anything sexual, then he probably was talking for intellectual stimulation. Ha ha who knows though.

05/17/2012

KyotoAngel

Quote:

Originally posted by LusciousLollypop

...that's just plain rude, people like that really need to relearn proper manners. Sure he's being honest but he could have at least worded it a bit more nicely. -_-
I'd say he's damn lucky Skype and modern technology don't have teleportation abilities so you could hit him where it hurts.

I can confirm that not all men think that way though.

05/21/2012

Bex1331

"I have no reason to talk to anyone unless I have something to gain. Whether that something is entertainment, enjoyment (Sexually or intellectually, or otherwise), or the like"

I think he's got a point, He's not saying he is only talking to you for sexual gratification, he's saying it's not worth talking to someone if he doesn't get any enjoyment out of it. Which I agree with, I'm not going to talk to someone if they don't have anything to say of interest to me, that's a waste of my time and theirs.

05/21/2012

Peggi

Well, I think in some instances it is mean, however, typically when people I don't know add me on social networks or places like Skype, I tend to instantly assume they're trying to "gain" something, because that's just what I've grown used to over the years and years of it.

I don't think it's always wrong, though. I mean, we all get something out of it when we talk to people we care about. We get enjoyment or entertainment out of it. We call our friends to cheer us up and ONLY to cheer us up when we are upset, things like that.

And yes, I do have "benefit friends", and I will clarify I do NOT mean "friends WITH benefits", the friends only talk to me when they need something and I only talk to them when I need something. It isn't sexual in nature at all, but it's still to get something out of it and nothing else.

05/21/2012

Talena

I would ignore the remark and test him intellectually (since he brought it up and all) because obviously he isn't too bright to say the inside thought out loud.

06/17/2012

Nirelan

That guy is an idiot. thats why i dont add strange people to my social chats....

06/17/2012

LoveYouLikeThat

Idiot...

I'd've blocked him right away

06/17/2012

Total posts: 31 Unique posters: 28

Make a post