Me and my boyfriend of 2 years are raising my daughter. He isn't her dad and she is pre-teen. I can discipline her. They tend to fight like there siblings. its making me crazy.

Contributor: laroc nite (Tina) laroc nite (Tina)
i need suggestions.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
keep him
get ride of him
Poll is closed
08/04/2012
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Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
It's kinda hard to make a call on that without knowing anything about the relationship between you and him. Step parenting can be difficult, especially with a pre-teen. If he's good to you and is attempting to be good to your daughter but running into battles, then perhaps family counseling would be an alternate route. If he treats you badly, then it's probably not worth it. If he's not even attempting to form a good relationship with your daughter, that's gonna be a really personal call for you.
08/04/2012
Contributor: Ganconagh Ganconagh
I second what Kira said. Having been a step-parent, I know the challenges.
08/04/2012
Contributor: Sundae Sparkles Sundae Sparkles
I agree with Kira Stepfathers can be very difficult
I gained a stepfather only at 2 years old (I moved in with them at 7)
I still "hated" him in my teen years/ he never ever disciplined me ever.. I just disliked this blue eyed blonde man who I felt like I would never fit with.

as a youth I thought he was cold hearted and mean
as an adult I have come to the understanding we have way more in common then I ever thought more so then my real father that I felt like I was protecting my whole life (yes he is my father and I care for him but he is a real loser)

I don't know what is going on in your house hold but if they are fighting like siblings it sounds like he is engaging in the situation
she is a pre-teen girl... in the best situation she would still be hell on wheels. He prob needs to back off & just ignore her antics & just leave her be
08/04/2012
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
Handling a rebellious preteen is one hard thing to do, and especially so when they're not biologically related. How mature is your boyfriend? Does he know how to handle and talk to kids of that age? Is he fighting with your daughter because she's behaving badly, or does he pick on her no matter what? Does he discuss your daughter's problems with you first before he confronts her? What does YOUR gut instincts tell you to do? Like Kira said, getting help from a reputable family counselor is a good way to go. A fourth party (in your case) with a trained background and a clear mind can provide suggestions to remedy the situation.

I married my husband when my daughter was only ten, luckily she has never been a problem for us, and the two of them get along well. Even if occasional discipline was required, I'm the one who did the talking, my husband usually stayed in the background unless I needed him to back me up.
08/04/2012