Can't find balance!

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Can't find balance!

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Contributor: ShadowedSeductress ShadowedSeductress
I started a new job a couple weeks ago and its the typical mon-fri 8-5 type of job. I'm grateful but I'm having a really hard time finding a balance in my life. I find myself thinking everyday how it seems I have to sacrifice something to get anything. Like, if I want to spend more time with my partner or clean I need to sacrifice my sleep. If I want to sleep more I have to sacrifice my relaxing time, time with my partner, and everything else. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way but it's driving me crazy!

I am so behind on housework and I never get a full nights sleep. I miss my Eden time as well but feel so overwhelmed with everything else. We've also been eating out a lot because I'm having a hard time finding the right schedule for that as well...I want so badly to just get caught up on my housework and get into a good schedule.

How many of you have been through this or are currently going through it? I get that it's a big part of life but geez it's exhausting.
12/03/2012
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Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Does your partner contribute to the chores and cooking? That really helps. The dynamic has changed - household responsibilities aren't the province of one partner anymore, especially when both are working.
12/03/2012
Contributor: ShadowedSeductress ShadowedSeductress
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
Does your partner contribute to the chores and cooking? That really helps. The dynamic has changed - household responsibilities aren't the province of one partner anymore, especially when both are working.
Unfortunately no he doesn't. I did everything when I wasn't working so he isn't used to me being too tired to clean and cook. We both work full time and it's just really hard for me to do all the cleaning and cooking too. I really had to raise hell to get him to do some cleaning.

Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy. Works hard and is a sweetheart. I just honestly think he doesn't know how to change things up since things are so different now.
12/03/2012
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Quote:
Originally posted by ShadowedSeductress
Unfortunately no he doesn't. I did everything when I wasn't working so he isn't used to me being too tired to clean and cook. We both work full time and it's just really hard for me to do all the cleaning and cooking too. I really had ... more
Yeah, it's a new situation for both of you to get used to, that's definitely understandable. Use this next weekend as time to outline what needs to be done, give directions if you need to, and make it clear that taking care of the home is a team effort now - and you would greatly appreciate his contribution.

If you can spare the cash, hire a cleaning service for a one-time clean out as a gift for yourself for getting the job. It'll also give you both a clean slate to start from.
12/03/2012
Contributor: ShadowedSeductress ShadowedSeductress
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
Yeah, it's a new situation for both of you to get used to, that's definitely understandable. Use this next weekend as time to outline what needs to be done, give directions if you need to, and make it clear that taking care of the home is a ... more
The planning would definitely help. I always have such a hard time asking for help without sounding naggy. I am just hoping we can fall into our routine here soon because it's driving me crazy!

Love the idea of a big clean up from a cleaning service. Only thing is, I'm always so embarrassed and feel the need to clean BEFORE the cleaning people come. I have been talking about having someone come once a month or maybe every other week to do the big stuff. The clean slate would help us so much. It's not that our house is filthy, it's just very unorganized and lots of random cups on tables and stuff. The floors too! Oh my gosh. Dang Pomeranian fur.

Great ideas I know they will definitely work
12/04/2012
Contributor: js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by ShadowedSeductress
The planning would definitely help. I always have such a hard time asking for help without sounding naggy. I am just hoping we can fall into our routine here soon because it's driving me crazy!

Love the idea of a big clean up from a ... more
The Pom fur is definitely all over!! I found some in my hubby's ear this morning--our little pom slept by his head and did her little wiggles in to get comfy--laughed so hard I was crying!!!

It was that way at our house many years ago and we decided that if we were to get any time together we both had to divide and conquer the chores. He has laundry I have dishwasher...etc. It took a bit to get it flowing and turned into a habit but is worth the time put into it!!
12/05/2012
Contributor: ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by ShadowedSeductress
I started a new job a couple weeks ago and its the typical mon-fri 8-5 type of job. I'm grateful but I'm having a really hard time finding a balance in my life. I find myself thinking everyday how it seems I have to sacrifice something to get ... more
I used to work nights (5pm to 1am). Now, I'm working 9 hour days. I've given up time with my toddler and late nights because I have to be up early. At times I feel overwhelmed with the change, but I think this new job was moving in the right direction. It did put my dating life on hold as well.
12/05/2012
Contributor: shorejen9 shorejen9
Start simple.... Just do 15 or 20 minutes of housework a night. You will be surprised how much you can get done and it won't interfere much with your sleep. Dinners.... Get a crockpot and try some dinners in that. You can set it up at night or in the morning and then let it cook all day while you work. When you get home you just add a side and viola! Dinner!
Don't worry it will get balanced again it will just take time. Also, you have to talk to your partner Nd get him to help. Even if he just does the vacuuming or dishes it will help you and free you up to do other things. If you both are working full time now the. You both should share the chores, IMO.
12/05/2012
Contributor: Roshandala Roshandala
Quote:
Originally posted by ShadowedSeductress
I started a new job a couple weeks ago and its the typical mon-fri 8-5 type of job. I'm grateful but I'm having a really hard time finding a balance in my life. I find myself thinking everyday how it seems I have to sacrifice something to get ... more
Thats sounds interesting!
02/25/2013