Depression and anxiety...
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Drinking can definitely make things worse. Alcohol is a depressant - it fools us by first giving us a boost and then it takes us the other way, sometimes dramatically.
You didn't say if you're being treated but if not, I would strongly encourage you to seek help. Depression and anxiety are now recognized as legitimate illnesses; they no longer carry the stigma they once had. For most, it's a chemical thing. That means despite feeling like you can will it away, ignore it, or tough it out, it isn't something that can be controlled by any amount of willpower. On the bright side, it does mean it can be treated! Treatment takes time and patience. Meds can take several weeks before they start working, and not all meds work for everyone. Therapy takes time as well. But when treatment starts working, there's no question it was all worth it!
I hope you're feeling better soon!
I agree with a lot of what Arch600 said. From my experience, one of the most important parts of treating these kinds of things successfully is finding the right psychiatrist/psycholog ist/therapist for you. One you feel listens to you and takes you seriously.
It took years for me and my doctor to find a combination of medications that worked right for me. So it really needs to be some one you trust.
It can be a hard and slow process, but a hard and slow process is better than feeling like crap indefinitely, yeah?
I understand exactly how you feel about your cousin's wedding. All of my siblings are happily married except for me. I'm the lonely sick one that's stuck at home with mom and dad. I'm so happy for them, just like you are happy for your cousin, but it really does hurt to think about why our lives can't be that great either.
If you ever need to talk, you can message me anytime. Here's a group hug and a love shower, since I know you can definitely use it! Please stay safe!
I hope you feel better soon. I never thought I would feel better... it took some time, but I got there eventually.
It can take a number of meds to find the right one. I think it took about 6 or 7 meds (antidepressants only, not counting antianxiety meds) for me to find that Zoloft works the best for me. It took several years and at least 3 doctors.
I have to be honest with the "diet." It takes medical testing and invasive biopsies of your small intestine to find out if you are really "gluten intolerant."
I WILL NOT engage in any discussion in this on this board. I've seen SO many negative tests in people who have been told they have this, it's the new fad.
REAL MEDICINE and good therapy will help you. I'll PM you.
It will get better. With a good doctor and good medical and health care.
Yes, finding the right docs are VERY important - they're like shoes: yeah, they do their job, but are you comfortable with them?
Medicating yourself with alcohol is not going to help matters. I've lost relatives to alcoholism because they self-medicated themselves that way.
Wishing you can go back in time and make different decisions? Yeah, I do that, too. It's not productive, that's for sure. It can also make you feel worse for what you're having to deal with today. Time travel on that sort of scale is still fiction, I'm afraid.
I know you're not at the point yet, but you'll find it will help once you finally make a decision about the marriage thing. My own indecision about ending my marriage lasted two years - I was so stubborn in NOT making a decision that I ended up on a bridge and ready to jump off because my will couldn't do it anymore. Don't let it get to that point for you - work through it and set a goal of Making A Decision.
Keep strong bayosgirl and if you need to talk I know so many people on here, including me, would be willing to listen
You can pull through this, hon.
My coping mechanism is depersonalization/dere alization, a comorbid disorder. That's no very healthy, but thinking I do not exist nor does reality helps me...
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