The New Intimacy

Do you ever censor yourself on the forum?

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Contributor: removedacnt removedacnt
There are at times topics on the forums that I know I don't feel the same way as the majority. Or how or what I believe about something may be misconstrued. So basically I just avoid those posts all together. Personally I just don't feel I have to say something about everything that is posted, especially if it might cause others to get upset or misunderstand.

Does anyone else do that? Do you ever avoid any posts and why?
08/10/2010
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Contributor: Splendwhore Splendwhore
Quote:
Originally posted by removedacnt
There are at times topics on the forums that I know I don't feel the same way as the majority. Or how or what I believe about something may be misconstrued. So basically I just avoid those posts all together. Personally I just don't feel I ... more
Yes. I will avoid certain topics so as not to create more confrontation. I don't see the need to bring added, unnecessary drama to a subject at times. I consider myself an opinionated person, but I also carefully choose when and where to share that opinion. Sometimes, speaking your mind does more harm than good. You have to learn to differentiate between being helpful, and adding something to a discussion, versus blatantly upsetting others and causing arguments.

I'm glad you asked this. I was a bit curious myself if others do so as well.
08/10/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
I ask myself "what will what I will say (is that confusing enough?) bring to the discussion?" Sometimes it's a non-majority view but does bring something to the conversation. Sometimes it may be a majority view and not add anything (so I keep quiet), sometimes it will just be troll bait or fan the flames, so I'll also be quiet.
08/10/2010
Contributor: MuffysPinguLove MuffysPinguLove
Quote:
Originally posted by Splendwhore
Yes. I will avoid certain topics so as not to create more confrontation. I don't see the need to bring added, unnecessary drama to a subject at times. I consider myself an opinionated person, but I also carefully choose when and where to share ... more
Splendwhore did a lovely job of articulating what I wanted to say. I'm the type of person who speaks my mind, however if a situation seems to be particularly "heated" or emotional for any of the parties involved than I try to avoid it. Sometimes though I encounter discussions where I just can't keep my mouth shut even if I know it would probably be better if I did.
08/10/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. If I know it's going to turn into a shit-fling fest then yeah, I stay away. I have things i want to say, but I don't want the drama that may come with it.
08/10/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by removedacnt
There are at times topics on the forums that I know I don't feel the same way as the majority. Or how or what I believe about something may be misconstrued. So basically I just avoid those posts all together. Personally I just don't feel I ... more
There are topics and discussions I don't join, because either I have no interest in the subject, or I don't feel like sharing that part of myself. Or because my opinion wouldn't add anything to the discussion.

Sometimes my point of view IS different than the majority, and like SCott said, I feel it will add to the discussion, so I will say something. (The discussion on whether "safe sex" in porn should be "mandated" is an example. My POV was "WHO is going to mandate these things? The government? No thanks." No one had brought up that point before, and I thought it added a dimension to the discussion.

Other times, a thread a just ridiculous, and I refuse to even justify it with a reply. On occasion, I have doubted that a poster was being honest in saying something they did etc, so I just keep the hell out of it. It isn't up to me to "out" people who make shit up.

Other times, the subject has just come up so many times, or it doesn't make me feel I have anything to add.

So, no, I don't censor myself, but I do pick and choose which discussions I want to partake in or not.
08/10/2010
Contributor: Andromeda Andromeda
I do censor myself. There are times when I will contribute to a conversation and only hint at my opinion, because, well, I'm an opinionated person. I feel like I have certain opinions that wouldn't be looked upon favorably by the majority mostly because there's no way I could fully articulate my reasoning. I wouldn't say I have particularly radical views, but there are certain things that I feel a very specific way about, and I feel very strongly. I don't want to incite an argument or get flagged simply because I wasn't able to explain what I was trying to say and someone took it the wrong way.
08/10/2010
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by removedacnt
There are at times topics on the forums that I know I don't feel the same way as the majority. Or how or what I believe about something may be misconstrued. So basically I just avoid those posts all together. Personally I just don't feel I ... more
I do this quite a bit, usually because I am kinda old fashion when it comes to talking to people, I prefer to be more blunt and to the point. I find that on the screen it is to easy to take what I say as negative/mean/harsh.

This community is also the first that I have been part of, never done Facebook, Twitter etc. So I have learned as I go, add in all the different views on sexuality, I really have to think about what I say/type, that in and of it self will hold my fingers sometimes.

I do try to read all the topics though, that is the best way to learn.
08/10/2010
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
I feel relatively comfortable on the forum and I try to say something if I have something new to offer. Unfortunately, many threads are repetitious.
08/10/2010
Contributor: Lady Venus Lady Venus
Quote:
Originally posted by Splendwhore
Yes. I will avoid certain topics so as not to create more confrontation. I don't see the need to bring added, unnecessary drama to a subject at times. I consider myself an opinionated person, but I also carefully choose when and where to share ... more
I second that! well said Splendwhore.
08/10/2010
Contributor: Annemarie Annemarie
Quote:
Originally posted by Splendwhore
Yes. I will avoid certain topics so as not to create more confrontation. I don't see the need to bring added, unnecessary drama to a subject at times. I consider myself an opinionated person, but I also carefully choose when and where to share ... more
Precisely.

Also, if I feel that what I say may spark an argument, I'll have a disclaimer at the bottom, like "not intended to upset" or something.
08/10/2010
Contributor: Splendwhore Splendwhore
Thank you MuffysPinguLove, MamaInStilettos, & Annemarie. I'm glad that someone else agrees with me. ^_^
08/10/2010
Contributor: Splendwhore Splendwhore
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz2
I feel relatively comfortable on the forum and I try to say something if I have something new to offer. Unfortunately, many threads are repetitious.
That's also a good point.
08/10/2010
Contributor: removedacnt removedacnt
I loved your reply too, Splendwhore! Very well put. And actually all of them have been. But best of all, I'm glad I'm not the only one.
08/10/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by removedacnt
There are at times topics on the forums that I know I don't feel the same way as the majority. Or how or what I believe about something may be misconstrued. So basically I just avoid those posts all together. Personally I just don't feel I ... more
Absolutely. I stay true to who I am, but sometimes, I know the responses won't be well received.
08/10/2010
Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
I bite my tongue nearly , nearly every day. Surprised? Heh.
08/10/2010
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
I'm not half the bitch on here that I am in my mind.

(Stop laughing.)
08/10/2010
Contributor: removedacnt removedacnt
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
I'm not half the bitch on here that I am in my mind.

(Stop laughing.)
Yeah I know exactly what you mean. LOL!
08/10/2010
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Like Carrie Ann, I bite my tongue pretty much every day. The times that I do speak my mind I usually feel like it is not received well publicly. Privately? Well, lots of people privately message me to say thank you and that they don't feel comfortable speaking up in the forums but are glad that I do. Increasingly I am reading the forums less and less though because it's not worth the stress. At the end of the day I'm here to review, not to have arguments.
08/10/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
I'm not half the bitch on here that I am in my mind.

(Stop laughing.)
tee hee Laughing? I wasn't laughing.

Love ya, Chili!
08/10/2010
Contributor: Splendwhore Splendwhore
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
I'm not half the bitch on here that I am in my mind.

(Stop laughing.)
Well put!
08/10/2010
Contributor: Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
Quote:
Originally posted by removedacnt
There are at times topics on the forums that I know I don't feel the same way as the majority. Or how or what I believe about something may be misconstrued. So basically I just avoid those posts all together. Personally I just don't feel I ... more
I avoid posts pretty often when they're overly controversial. Particularly since my views are coming from a different generation than the majority of the members so probably wouldn't be appreciated anyway. I come on here to "hang out" and relax, not to argue or be belittled.

Alan very rarely comes on the forums unless it's a guy asking guys questions.
08/10/2010
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
I have lately been censoring myself quite a bit to avoid confrontation or pressing buttons. Some really intense topics have been touched upon and I just get extremely upset and refuse to post. Or if I DO post it's something nice and vague. I've already gotten in trouble for flagging something once, so I'm scared to really say anything
08/10/2010
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
I have lately been censoring myself quite a bit to avoid confrontation or pressing buttons. Some really intense topics have been touched upon and I just get extremely upset and refuse to post. Or if I DO post it's something nice and vague. ... more
(pets Blinky's head and sings) you are my sunshiiine, my only sunshiiine.

Sorry, for the singing, just trying to help I'm also sorry that you've also been triggered and/or upset by stuff in the forums lately. I definitely understand, but reading your posts here and there on a lot of these topics makes me feel a little better, a little less alienated, a little bit less back in those bad places, if that's any consolation.
08/10/2010
Contributor: deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
There are topics and discussions I don't join, because either I have no interest in the subject, or I don't feel like sharing that part of myself. Or because my opinion wouldn't add anything to the discussion.

Sometimes my point ... more
I do the same. Rather than put my self into boiling water, I'll stay clear.
08/11/2010
Contributor: Evoluchun Evoluchun
If its something that I know could all out start a war yes so far haven't had that problem but most times I voice my opinion thats just me I'm very open and blunt
08/11/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I do it quite a bit. Things that I know wouldn't be taken the way I meant I don't write and I won't jump in on the really opinionated topics. A few months back I saw a lot of people jumping in on one saying that they had no idea what was going on specifically but here was their thoughts and rationale anyway even though it didn't add anything.
08/11/2010