The New Intimacy

Do you use the word "bitch"?

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Contributor: kck kck
I'm reading a lot of feminist theory and criticism as part of an internship, and it's really making me think about how we internalize some things that society puts forth. Take, for example, the word "bitch." I really don't like the word, but I find it sometimes slipping out of my mouth.

Like many slur words, there are many reasons why people use it: to subjugate, to empower, to slander, etc. Joreen Freeman is a feminist who, in 1968, reclaimed Bitch (capital B) through publishing The Bitch Manifesto.

So, I am wondering, how do you all use the word bitch?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I am comfortable using the word "bitch," and I do use it.
189
I am uncomfortable using the word "bitch," but I do use it.
16
I am uncomfortable using the word "bitch," and I do not use it.
14
I am indifferent as to whether or not I or others use the word "bitch."
35
I am offended when I hear myself or others refered to as a "bitch."
35
I use the word "bitch" in reference to myself.
70
I use the word "bitch" in reference to my friends.
54
I use the word "bitch" ONLY to describe a FEMALE with whom I am upset.
27
I use the word "bitch" ONLY to describe a MALE with whom I am upset.
6
I use the word "bitch" as a means of empowerment.
32
I use the word "bitch" as a means of belittling others.
42
Other!
32
Total votes: 552 (260 voters)
Poll is closed
07/21/2010
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Contributor: kck kck
Bah! I forgot to put an option that says "I use the word 'bitch' to describe someone with whom I am upset REGARDLESS OF THEIR SEX."

And for that I sadly vote +1 for myself.
07/21/2010
Contributor: Andromeda Andromeda
I use it occasionally, and have been called it occasionally, but it really doesn't bother me either way. Few words actually bother me. The way I see it, a word just a combination of letters--we're the ones who give it meaning.
07/21/2010
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
Doesn't bother me a bit. I say it all the time, call my friends and boyfriend bitches and even my cats. Just a word.

Good luck with that internship! I hate feminism

srrsly, I do.
07/21/2010
Contributor: kck kck
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Doesn't bother me a bit. I say it all the time, call my friends and boyfriend bitches and even my cats. Just a word.

Good luck with that internship! I hate feminism

srrsly, I do.
Thanks, Blinker!

And as for hating feminism, I think the theories do have something good to offer. There are LOTS of different types of feminism (i.e. - Marxist, Third World Women, lesbian, political, etc.). But I do think that some of it borders on hetero-hatred and sexism towards males. So, I'm very cautious that I don't buy into any one school of thought without investigating it completely.
07/21/2010
Contributor: bzzingbee bzzingbee
I am totally comfortable with the word 'bitch', I probably use it more than I should, lol.
07/21/2010
Contributor: Sir Sir
I use it in a sexual and asshole context. If I am very pissed off, or someone is acting what I perceive to be "bitchy," I will call them a bitch. I am comfortable with the word, and alright with using it. I do not use it often, but I do use it from time to time. I also enjoy to use it during sex, it's exciting.
07/21/2010
Contributor: *Ashley* *Ashley*
I use the word "bitch" in a few different ways. It all depends on my tone and the situation. I don't use it alot though.
07/21/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
I use it just like Sir does (except for the sex part).

On the other hand, a morning radio show in Detroit has starting using it in a positive way. "It's Friday, bitches!"
07/21/2010
Contributor: Lady Venus Lady Venus
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Doesn't bother me a bit. I say it all the time, call my friends and boyfriend bitches and even my cats. Just a word.

Good luck with that internship! I hate feminism

srrsly, I do.
same here! Just a word, and everything and everybody is a bitch in my books.
07/21/2010
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by kck
I'm reading a lot of feminist theory and criticism as part of an internship, and it's really making me think about how we internalize some things that society puts forth. Take, for example, the word "bitch." I really don't like ... more
I really try not to say that word to people unless they really are asking for it.
Like most slur words they have their use but as adults we should be aware of others feelings, and not through them around so easily.

Also I use it for the real meaning (female dog in heat) quit often during her "week". This is not to degrade her or put her down, quit the opposite as she calls me stud.(male dog wanting some) Kinda our thing.

I asked the wife about this and she said that for the most part when someone calls her bitch she does not mind to much cuz it is just a word BUT don't call her cunt!
That is quit different.
07/21/2010
Contributor: Splendwhore Splendwhore
The word Bitch does not bother me, because it's just that-- a word! I still find it hard to believe that we as a society let words hold such emotional power over us. I could just as easily call you a backwards blueberry muffin as a bitch, and for all you know, it could have the same connotation for me!

Words are also an extremely personal thing. For some, certain words can be used as endearment or empowerment, while from the mouths of others they're insulting, crude, and crash. For me, it's all about the context. I use the word bitch often, in both subtexts. Often I'll throw it into my everyday conversations. For instance, I might exclaim, "Bitch, please!" Or "Yeah bitches!". But simultaneously, if someone really pisses me off I might confide to my partner that they were a fucking bitch! Or a Hoe-bucket, ass-jockey, etc. I like to get creative with my words. It shocks people and adds a whole new twist of fun to daily interactions.

On a more serious note, I do avoid such language when in a professional setting (say work). I also try to avoid doing it around my Grandmother and Great Grandmother who are both appalled by cursing. Unfortunately, I often end up cursing without thought because it's been so ingrained in me. I learned to curse from my mother when I was a preteen. We got into constant arguments that often began and ended with her calling me a bitch or some other term. I started using the words back in relation to her, and soon it just became commonplace to curse when I was angry, or anytime in between.
07/21/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
I use it seldom. If I say it...you know I'm pissed. I use it for guys and gals though. But if someone calls me a bitch...I'll really turn into one. I've only been called a bitch, to my face-maybe 3 times? They never said it again.
07/21/2010
Contributor: Gary Gary
I use a number of non-PC terms on a daily basis. I am completly against sterilizing the way people talk and removing words whenever people decide or realize they are offensive. I am also in full support of using good manners, and treating people with respect. I do say 'bitch' a lot, but only about 5% of the time I use it is a negative way.

Perhaps everyone should use more 'offensive' language and then people would realize that words only have the power that you give them.
07/21/2010
Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary
I use a number of non-PC terms on a daily basis. I am completly against sterilizing the way people talk and removing words whenever people decide or realize they are offensive. I am also in full support of using good manners, and treating people with ... more
Right on.
07/21/2010
Contributor: Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Doesn't bother me a bit. I say it all the time, call my friends and boyfriend bitches and even my cats. Just a word.

Good luck with that internship! I hate feminism

srrsly, I do.
I jokingly call our cats "bitch" too - it's just a silly word to me, as well. Granted I'm in my mid-thirties. I do remember finding it offensive when I was younger.

(and truth be told, unless my husband is clearly joking, I don't like it when he calls me a bitch. But that's just with him - I couldn't care less if other people call me any names.)
07/21/2010
Contributor: LiftedUp LiftedUp
If I'm around a wild or misbehaving female dog, I will make a comment about "that bitch" for laughs, but do not refer to other people as bitches. Then again, I don't really "cuss" at all in daily conversations or dialogue.
07/21/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
For a while, actually too long, I was brainwashed by 2nd wave feminism theory, and was "offended" by the word "Bitch." Of course, in that form of mind EVERYTHING offended me! I was beginning to think that my sexual fantasies were politically incorrect, so I tried to change them, resulting in lackluster sex, I began to believe virtually every man was a predator set on raping me or at least "keeping me down"

When I had my first baby, I realized the 2nd Wave Feminism has COMPLETELY forgone the idea of Motherhood as a worthy thing to do with one's times, and ignored the proper care and feeding of children so one can do "better things" with ones time than care for their infants, either not having children, or letting strangers raise them. And I also began to re-believe that things like the idea that there are men who really do love us and care about us, and we don't need to be on the offense occurred to me. It was probably more the complete ignoring of Motherhood and it's power and neccesity that turned me off of this type of feminism, but when I became a mother, I couldn't bring the two together, because I KNEW my kids were more important than my "personal career goals" and that in order to take care of them properly, and be a good partner to My Man I was going to run afoul of most Feminist Thought.

So, I had to again, change the way I looked at the world and change the way I looked at people and language. And, with that, I started my POST Feminist Age, I started using the word "bitch" not as an insult, but as a way of reclaiming MY way of doing things (because I AM "a bitch") and being true to myself. I also reclaimed words like "slut" as I saw my Gay friends reclaiming "dyke" "fag" "femme" "fruit" and other words which were once used as insults.

There is also no way I could have balanced this kind of feminist thought with our sex life, which is strongly inclined towards Power Play and D/S fantasy and play.

Your mileage may vary.
07/21/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary
I use a number of non-PC terms on a daily basis. I am completly against sterilizing the way people talk and removing words whenever people decide or realize they are offensive. I am also in full support of using good manners, and treating people with ... more
You said it, Bro!
07/21/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary
I use a number of non-PC terms on a daily basis. I am completly against sterilizing the way people talk and removing words whenever people decide or realize they are offensive. I am also in full support of using good manners, and treating people with ... more
I couldn't have said it better myself
07/21/2010
Contributor: Annemarie Annemarie
I generally don't curse, other than a "damn" or something every once in awhile in frustration. To be honest, though, it was my significant other that "learned" me on the use of "bitch." I tend to respect most people most of the time, and feel that women should be respected equally as men. I don't use "bitch" except in reference to non-organic and/or non-living items (computers, games, characters in books, movies, etc.) in frustration. But that's about how I use other curse words--only in frustration.

Just me, though.
07/21/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Swearing is just like any other habit (well, the easier to change ones). I remember when I had to train myself off swearing when I was On-Air talent at a commercial radio station.
07/21/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
I admit to making comments like "sonnavabitch" and such, and I only really use bitch when talking to someone about some woman whom has REALLY made me POed or whom I dislike. Other than that, I don't really say it much. Maybe jokingly about myself, such as "I'd rather be a bitch than a slut" when talking to my male friends, lol.
07/21/2010
Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
For a while, actually too long, I was brainwashed by 2nd wave feminism theory, and was "offended" by the word "Bitch." Of course, in that form of mind EVERYTHING offended me! I was beginning to think that my sexual fantasies ... more
You should totally turn these thoughts into a blog post for Eden Cafe!
07/21/2010
Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
Context counts for everything in my book. I don't have a problem with any word by itself but I can be offended by a word like "bitch" if it is used in a derogatory way.
07/21/2010
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
I distinctly recall the first time I was ever called a bitch - by my mother when I was thirteen and had my first PMS (which should have indicated that my cycles were not normal to begin with if I displayed all the classic symptoms of it just before my Very First Period).

So, as a writer, I've always seen words from different angles and perspectives, and so I know of all the ways it's used. In my own vocabulary I generally use it as a verb - 'Quit your bitching.', 'Bitch, bitch, bitch.', and 'I wanna bitch right now, care to listen?' To me, it's a word that covers the combination of complain, whine, and vent.

I have used it to describe people - both men and women. Especially while driving and I'm doing the running monologue of cussing out other drivers (although I don't do it when other people are in the car). I think it's funny how most guys tend to see it as demasculinizing when the word is applied to them.

I don't mind being called bitch, it's just the other words that are said with it that can get to me (usually the incredibly original combo of 'fat bitch').
07/21/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
You should totally turn these thoughts into a blog post for Eden Cafe!
Oh, thank you. How would I do this? I like to write and have done so for other communities, magazines, journals etc.

How would I submit an article for the Cafe? (After my Certification Boards on Monday, though! )
07/21/2010
Contributor: gone77 gone77
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary
I use a number of non-PC terms on a daily basis. I am completly against sterilizing the way people talk and removing words whenever people decide or realize they are offensive. I am also in full support of using good manners, and treating people with ... more
YES!

I swear like a sailor and use bitch all the bloody time in reference to just about everything. It's usually either playful or derogatory. If I'm using bitch (or any other word) in a degrading or derogatory way, there will be no doubt about it. It's all about tone and inflection.
07/21/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Oh, thank you. How would I do this? I like to write and have done so for other communities, magazines, journals etc.

How would I submit an article for the Cafe? (After my Certification Boards on Monday, though! )
Email it to CarrieAnn via her Eden address.
07/21/2010
Contributor: SexyySarah SexyySarah
I'm comfortable with the word, but don't really use it unless it needs to be used.
07/21/2010