Gentlemen/ Ladies POLL

Contributor: Kiwi Green Kiwi Green
These gestures are mostly used (in my case)by age. sorry gender never mattered.
04/18/2012
Contributor: sexxxkitten sexxxkitten
I like to have doors opened for me and my chair pulled out for me, I think it's sweet. And I like to make my boyfriend's plate for him. I think they are just sweet gestures for one another.
04/18/2012
Contributor: Entropy Entropy
Wow. Long and complicated poll. I don't think about it much. We do things for each other. If things weren't equitable, I wouldn't have been with her for so long in the first place.
04/18/2012
Contributor: samanthalynn samanthalynn
Quote:
Originally posted by SecretToyLover2
So continuing the subject matter of this post ----> link

I would like to take it a bit further and see what people prefer. Now as you read in the other post, my husband always opened and still opens every door we go through as a gesture of ... more
who ever makes it to the door first opens it for us
04/18/2012
Contributor: michael scofield michael scofield
i would treat my girl like a queen but would like her to appreciate it and also do things for me also so it could be somewhat equal
04/19/2012
Contributor: mlmac mlmac
I try to hold the door open for my wife most of the time, but it all depends who gets to the door first. In a way, I guess it doesn't really matter.
04/21/2012
Contributor: LoveBug721 LoveBug721
Quote:
Originally posted by SecretToyLover2
So continuing the subject matter of this post ----> link

I would like to take it a bit further and see what people prefer. Now as you read in the other post, my husband always opened and still opens every door we go through as a gesture of ... more
I wasn't raised this way.
05/19/2012
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
I'm female and I have to take care of everything myself. We don't have specific expectations of each other.
05/19/2012
Contributor: DustBunny DustBunny
We are equal for the most part. I've never had my seat pulled out for me and I serve the food because I cook it. At times I will let him serve himself because I do not know how much he wants. We don't eat at the table, so it's not like it's right there, I leave it on the stove and ask him "Do you want me to make you a plate or are you serving yourself?" Admittedly other days when I'm tried or ticked off, he can serve himself.
05/19/2012
Contributor: SimpleTeaser SimpleTeaser
I am a female, we open the door for eachother, I don't care who serves who, both of us can be spoiled in certain aspects.

Now, my husband does work all day long in the outdoors, and I do like to serve his dinner to him when he does. This gives him a chance to relax when he gets home.
05/19/2012
Contributor: Allison.Wilder Allison.Wilder
I like equality. Someone opens one door, the other person opens another. Same goes for serving someone and chair pulling out, although I still don't need my chair moved for me. Lol. Interesting questions you have here.
05/20/2012
Contributor: VioletMoonstone VioletMoonstone
Me and my boyfriend treat eachother equally most of the time. I enjoy cooking and serving him food because he works a lot of hours and he's tired, not because I'm the woman and he's the man. Sometimes he cooks and serves me food. Honestly I think I'm a better cook which is why I prefer to do the cooking. lol. Same for the cleaning. I love when he opens the door for me and treats me special because I'm a woman. We're very equal but we are a little old fashioned in a romantic simple way. I don't know how else to explain it.
05/20/2012
Contributor: lulz lulz
It's the 21st century, we should be equal
07/13/2012
Contributor: LAndJ LAndJ
In these manners, we're relatively equal.
07/27/2012
Contributor: ILikeShinyThings ILikeShinyThings
My fiancee and I are completely equal. In public or private, we open doors and pull chairs out for each other. He usually cooks and I help out, but whoever is not occupied with measuring, chopping, or cooking will serve the plates. Also, if he surprises me with dinner, he will make a plate and serve me.
07/27/2012
Contributor: emilia emilia
Quote:
Originally posted by BlooJay
Great poll.
yes I agree
07/27/2012
Contributor: kims89 kims89
totally agree
08/17/2012
Contributor: glitterbombs glitterbombs
I'm fine with traditional manners, but I'm insulted when other people refuse to modernize to make them more gender-neutral. Hold the door or pull out the chair because the other person needs it or because you want to spoil them or because it just seems polite, but don't do it because of their gender.

My brother waits for my mother, sister, and I to sit down at nice dinners and that's fine -- although I've still insisted on returning the favor. But I've had men grab doors I was holding and say things like ladies first and that is just rude as hell no matter what you were taught.
08/19/2012
Contributor: kims89 kims89
equal but i need respect
08/23/2012
Contributor: Gdom Gdom
I like to do all those nice, polite things not because I feel my male-body obligates me to do so, but because they're ways of showing affection.
08/23/2012
Contributor: Intrepid Niddering Intrepid Niddering
Holding the doors open.. I don't really care for someone to open it to let me in. It feels awkward to me. Now, I don't think I'd like someone I'm with walking into a store or something and letting the door slam in my face, but, like, they walk in and try to keep the door opened for me until I get there. Just like if I got there first, I'd walk in and hold the door opened for them. I expect that from any person, even strangers.

Chairs... I can pull out my own chair. They can pull out their own chair. I don't want them pulling out mine and I don't want to pull out theirs. I've just never seen that as important. That's just how it is.

As for serving food, I grew up where it was always, "Help yourself." Small children get served, but once you hit a certain age, you should know how to serve yourself food. If we had guests over growing up it was usually, "Are you thirsty? Yeah? Okay. The glasses are in this cupboard, ice is in the freezer, there's sodas in the pantry, water on the counter, milk and juice in the fridge. Have at it." And I got the same thing at friends' houses. I never saw it as rude it's that everyone has their own way of doing things. Person A might like sodas in a glass completely full up with ice, whilst Person B likes the glass only half-full of ice. If Person B gets Person A a soda, it won't be how they like it. Same goes for food. Maybe Person A prefers more salad to pasta, but Person B likes an equal portion of each.

Now, I'd be perfectly happy cooking for someone. Like, we're going to have dinner so they request something. I'll gladly make whatever it is. But I still expect them to serve themselves whatever they want.

I never grew up with people opening doors for me, pulling out chairs, or serving me food, so it's a very foreign concept to me. I feel awkward when it happens, not respected or loved or whatever. I don't understand why they're doing it. I'm an adult. I can do those things myself, so why are they doing it for me?
08/23/2012
Contributor: Sundae Sparkles Sundae Sparkles
I see it as affection/spoiling one another...
We don't get to spend alot of time together bc our work scheduled are opposite... when we do spend time together we spoil one another... Like today I picked him up from work... I got dressed up special... and it lit up his eyes... which of made me feel special. He ordered my dinner and did the hole door thing and that makes me feel extra special. we do little things like that too keep that great spark.
08/23/2012
Contributor: TigerLily9 TigerLily9
depends on the suituation, I guess...
09/20/2012
Contributor: Kitka Kitka
We typically open doors and serve each other food equally, except for those days that he works, then I'm serving the food most of the time.
09/20/2012
Contributor: SneakersAndPearls SneakersAndPearls
He never pulls out my chair for me (and I don't care that he doesn't), whoever gets to said door first opens it for the other, and so on. Whoever is at the stove/oven/counter does the serving (usually whoever made the meal, but not always). I guess when I think about it, we do switch off with things, but he does also do respectful/affectionat e things for me, like unlock my car door or open the front door when I am fumbling for my keys. For us, it's just being attentive to the other's needs.
09/20/2012
Contributor: panthercat23 panthercat23
We are equal. I just see these acts as something nice and do look further for something that's not there.
09/20/2012
Contributor: ginnyluvspotter ginnyluvspotter
I cook cause i'm too picky about my food and my bf cant cook
10/16/2012
Contributor: peachmarie peachmarie
I think relationships are really just give and take, I like to take care of people so i always make dinner and bring my boyfriend his food and drinks, I do the same for guests in my home and at my parents home. My boyfriend opens door for me sometimes and i open the door for him sometimes. I don't pull out chairs and neither does he, I would be a little off put by that. I know he would be doing it to be sweet but after being together for four years it would just be so out of place. I'm a little more casual than that, if i were with a guy who insisted on pulling out my chair every time we went out it'd make me anxious.
04/02/2013
Contributor: GirlOnGirl GirlOnGirl
I'm gay and will do these things for a woman and am fine wit her doing them for me. In a same sex relationship you can't really use gender as a guide to who should do these things and who should expect them. I'm sure in some same sex relationships it is one-sided but it couldn't be determined by gender and there would have to be something else used to assign the behaviors.
04/03/2013
Contributor: Martiniman Martiniman
When it comes to serving food for meals, we serve ourselves, but we also get things for each other. I do things like holding doors because I'm a gentlemen and with my wife as a sign of affection, respect and love. Some of the traditional roles and rules are missing from our marriage, yet enough is done to cement our love and affection for each other.
04/03/2013