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SecretToyLover2

So continuing the subject matter of this post ----> link

I would like to take it a bit further and see what people prefer. Now as you read in the other post, my husband always opened and still opens every door we go through as a gesture of love and respect. I was brought up to never let a man you are married to get his own food - always serve him. Things like that are what I'm curious about. Are other people this way? Answer the poll and leave responses below. Voting is public.

Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):

I am a female.

SecretToyLover2 , bayosgirl , interestingstuff , Ghost , Beck , P'Gell , wdanas , indiglo , Wide Awake Daydream , The Mother of a SiNner , Paula , CoffeeCup , mistressg , Rossie , JEM , OhMy! , DeliciousSurprise , karay123 , Coralbell , NarcissisticLust , CanadianChick , Secret Pleasure , ellejay , Missmarc , Kithara , hjtee , curious kitten , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , WhoopieDoo , corsetsaurus rex , cottonxcandy , BiJess , Sohotdinosaur , Tangles , Airen Wolf , pootpootpoot , ghalik , Ice1 , Mwar , powerandintent , Sex Positivity , inlustwetrust31 , ViVix , Ms. N , roskat , Positwist , ThoughtsAblaze , Various , Kiwi Green , sexxxkitten , glassrose , samanthalynn , skeeterlynn , Lady Bear , nynekats , VelvetDragon , Melan!e , A.A. , joja , LoveBug721 , PropertyOfPotter , DustBunny , SimpleTeaser , Allison.Wilder , solitudinarian , VioletMoonstone , Breas , Dodger79 , queenofsiam , dancer120 , Frun , MissBre , s3 , ablynn , Lavendar , KrissyNovacaine , ILikeShinyThings , LAndJ , emilia , Passionate Mandi , kims89 , glitterbombs , melissa1973 , hyacinthgirl , Vaginas , chikisses , Intrepid Niddering , Sundae Sparkles , Leather & Lace , TigerLily9 , Kitka , unfulfilled , SneakersAndPearls , panthercat23 , ginnyluvspotter , sarahinthecity , peachmarie , surreptitious , GirlOnGirl , AliMc , Living Doll , KinkyKatieJames , Bignuf , Pumpk1nPatch , earthmama , ShadowedSeductress , BrittaniMaree , SeductivelyCute , Silverwinds

109

I am a male.

Eliyahu , Moein , sarahswallows , OhMy! , slynch , DiamondKoala , Avant-garde , dv8 , Bullfroggy and Rose , jokerzwild , Gunsmoke , Checkmate , Undead , smc3115 , GONE! , Alx , griffonc , Entropy , mlmac , dhig , lulz , Gdom , Eugler , FlashFuchsia , Martiniman

I am lesbian.

DeliciousSurprise , Tangles , ghalik , Ice1 , Positwist , Kiwi Green , Frun , Pussy Destroyer

I am gay.

Alx , GirlOnGirl , FlashFuchsia

I am bisexual.

Ghost , Beck , The Mother of a SiNner , Secret Pleasure , ellejay , Kithara , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , corsetsaurus rex , cottonxcandy , smc3115 , GONE! , inlustwetrust31 , ViVix , Entropy , dhig , nynekats , VelvetDragon , queenofsiam , ablynn , Lavendar , KrissyNovacaine , glitterbombs , Vaginas , Kitka , panthercat23 , sarahinthecity , U3H , peachmarie , KinkyKatieJames , ShadowedSeductress , BrittaniMaree , Silverwinds

I always expect my men to open the door for me.

SecretToyLover2 , bayosgirl , P'Gell , wdanas , Wide Awake Daydream , NarcissisticLust , Airen Wolf , Ms. N , sexxxkitten , Dodger79 , MissBre , s3 , Passionate Mandi , kims89 , Sundae Sparkles , Leather & Lace , Bignuf

I always expect my women to open the door for me.

DeliciousSurprise , earthmama

I think we can open doors for each other. We should be equal.

interestingstuff , Ghost , Beck , indiglo , The Mother of a SiNner , Paula , CoffeeCup , mistressg , Rossie , sarahswallows , JEM , OhMy! , DeliciousSurprise , karay123 , Coralbell , slynch , CanadianChick , DiamondKoala , Secret Pleasure , dv8 , ellejay , Kithara , hjtee , jokerzwild , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , WhoopieDoo , corsetsaurus rex , cottonxcandy , Sohotdinosaur , smc3115 , Tangles , pootpootpoot , ghalik , Ice1 , GONE! , powerandintent , Sex Positivity , inlustwetrust31 , ViVix , Ms. N , roskat , Positwist , ThoughtsAblaze , Various , Kiwi Green , griffonc , Entropy , glassrose , michael scofield , skeeterlynn , mlmac , Lady Bear , dhig , nynekats , VelvetDragon , Melan!e , A.A. , joja , DustBunny , SimpleTeaser , Allison.Wilder , solitudinarian , VioletMoonstone , Breas , queenofsiam , ablynn , Lavendar , KrissyNovacaine , lulz , ILikeShinyThings , LAndJ , emilia , Passionate Mandi , Lily Bee , glitterbombs , melissa1973 , hyacinthgirl , Vaginas , Gdom , Intrepid Niddering , Kitka , unfulfilled , panthercat23 , sarahinthecity , U3H , peachmarie , Eugler , surreptitious , GirlOnGirl , FlashFuchsia , AliMc , Living Doll , KinkyKatieJames , Pumpk1nPatch , ShadowedSeductress , BrittaniMaree , Silverwinds , Hazeleyes2012

I always expect my men to pull out my chair.

SecretToyLover2 , P'Gell , corsetsaurus rex , Ms. N , sexxxkitten , Dodger79 , Passionate Mandi , Bignuf

I always expect my women to pull out my chair.

Once again, I think we can do it for each other. We should be equal.

Ghost , Beck , The Mother of a SiNner , Paula , mistressg , JEM , OhMy! , DeliciousSurprise , karay123 , slynch , CanadianChick , DiamondKoala , Secret Pleasure , dv8 , ellejay , Kithara , hjtee , curious kitten , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , WhoopieDoo , cottonxcandy , Tangles , pootpootpoot , ghalik , GONE! , Sex Positivity , inlustwetrust31 , Positwist , ThoughtsAblaze , Various , Kiwi Green , griffonc , Entropy , glassrose , michael scofield , skeeterlynn , mlmac , nynekats , VelvetDragon , A.A. , joja , DustBunny , SimpleTeaser , solitudinarian , VioletMoonstone , queenofsiam , Lavendar , KrissyNovacaine , lulz , ILikeShinyThings , LAndJ , emilia , Passionate Mandi , Lily Bee , glitterbombs , melissa1973 , hyacinthgirl , Vaginas , Gdom , Kitka , unfulfilled , panthercat23 , sarahinthecity , U3H , peachmarie , Eugler , GirlOnGirl , FlashFuchsia , AliMc , Living Doll , KinkyKatieJames , Pumpk1nPatch , BrittaniMaree

I will never let my man serve himself.

SecretToyLover2 , wdanas , Rossie , pootpootpoot , sparksrebbecca , kims89 , Sundae Sparkles

I will never let my woman serve herself.

I don't care who serves who, we're hungry.

bayosgirl , Ghost , Beck , indiglo , Wide Awake Daydream , Paula , CoffeeCup , mistressg , sarahswallows , JEM , OhMy! , DeliciousSurprise , karay123 , Coralbell , slynch , NarcissisticLust , CanadianChick , DiamondKoala , Secret Pleasure , dv8 , ellejay , Missmarc , Kithara , hjtee , jokerzwild , Gunsmoke , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , Checkmate , WhoopieDoo , corsetsaurus rex , Undead , cottonxcandy , Sohotdinosaur , Tangles , ghalik , GONE! , Mwar , powerandintent , Sex Positivity , inlustwetrust31 , Alx , Ms. N , roskat , Positwist , ThoughtsAblaze , Various , Kiwi Green , griffonc , glassrose , samanthalynn , michael scofield , skeeterlynn , mlmac , nynekats , VelvetDragon , A.A. , LoveBug721 , DustBunny , SimpleTeaser , Allison.Wilder , solitudinarian , VioletMoonstone , queenofsiam , MissBre , ablynn , Lavendar , KrissyNovacaine , lulz , ILikeShinyThings , LAndJ , emilia , Passionate Mandi , Lily Bee , glitterbombs , melissa1973 , hyacinthgirl , Vaginas , Gdom , Intrepid Niddering , Leather & Lace , Kitka , unfulfilled , panthercat23 , sarahinthecity , U3H , peachmarie , Eugler , surreptitious , GirlOnGirl , FlashFuchsia , Martiniman , Living Doll , KinkyKatieJames , Bignuf , Pumpk1nPatch , earthmama , ShadowedSeductress , Silverwinds

We serve each other equally.

P'Gell , indiglo , The Mother of a SiNner , Paula , mistressg , Eliyahu , sarahswallows , Lover of Leather , OhMy! , slynch , CanadianChick , Missmarc , curious kitten , Checkmate , WhoopieDoo , corsetsaurus rex , Undead , Airen Wolf , ghalik , Ice1 , Sex Positivity , inlustwetrust31 , Ms. N , ThoughtsAblaze , Various , sexxxkitten , griffonc , mlmac , nynekats , VelvetDragon , Melan!e , joja , VioletMoonstone , Dodger79 , Lavendar , KrissyNovacaine , ILikeShinyThings , Passionate Mandi , Lily Bee , Gdom , sarahinthecity , U3H , AliMc , KinkyKatieJames , Bignuf , Pumpk1nPatch , earthmama , SeductivelyCute

Explain other gestures of respect below.

Eliyahu , Moein , SneakersAndPearls , FlashFuchsia

I prefer these things as a matter of respect.

SecretToyLover2 , bayosgirl , Ghost , Beck , P'Gell , Wide Awake Daydream , Paula , CoffeeCup , Eliyahu , OhMy! , DiamondKoala , dv8 , ellejay , Ms. N , skeeterlynn , Melan!e , ILikeShinyThings , Passionate Mandi , TigerLily9 , SneakersAndPearls , AliMc , Bignuf

I see these as gestures of affection.

SecretToyLover2 , bayosgirl , interestingstuff , Beck , P'Gell , wdanas , indiglo , Wide Awake Daydream , The Mother of a SiNner , CoffeeCup , mistressg , Eliyahu , sarahswallows , OhMy! , DeliciousSurprise , karay123 , NarcissisticLust , DiamondKoala , Bullfroggy and Rose , ellejay , Kithara , curious kitten , jokerzwild , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , Checkmate , WhoopieDoo , corsetsaurus rex , Undead , cottonxcandy , Tangles , Airen Wolf , pootpootpoot , ghalik , Ice1 , GONE! , powerandintent , inlustwetrust31 , Ms. N , roskat , Various , sexxxkitten , griffonc , Entropy , glassrose , skeeterlynn , mlmac , nynekats , VelvetDragon , joja , LoveBug721 , PropertyOfPotter , DustBunny , sparksrebbecca , VioletMoonstone , Dodger79 , s3 , KrissyNovacaine , lulz , ILikeShinyThings , LAndJ , Passionate Mandi , Lily Bee , Vaginas , Gdom , Sundae Sparkles , Leather & Lace , TigerLily9 , Kitka , SneakersAndPearls , sarahinthecity , U3H , peachmarie , Eugler , surreptitious , AliMc , Living Doll , KinkyKatieJames , Bignuf , Pumpk1nPatch , earthmama , ShadowedSeductress , jackie.jfky , BrittaniMaree , SeductivelyCute , Silverwinds

This is a part of my upbringing.

SecretToyLover2 , Wide Awake Daydream , The Mother of a SiNner , Eliyahu , Bullfroggy and Rose , jokerzwild , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , Ms. N , nynekats , DustBunny , sparksrebbecca , Dodger79 , KrissyNovacaine , Passionate Mandi , kims89 , Vaginas , sarahinthecity , peachmarie , KinkyKatieJames , Bignuf

This is a part of my religion.

SecretToyLover2 , Wide Awake Daydream

I am just spoiled/ He or she is just spoiled

DeliciousSurprise , Gunsmoke , corsetsaurus rex , pootpootpoot , sexxxkitten , nynekats , SimpleTeaser , Allison.Wilder , VioletMoonstone , Frun , MissBre , Sundae Sparkles , peachmarie , ShadowedSeductress

Other

P'Gell , wdanas , Eliyahu , Rossie , NarcissisticLust , Secret Pleasure , ghalik , Kiwi Green , A.A. , PropertyOfPotter , DustBunny , meesmabye , Frun , Intrepid Niddering , TigerLily9 , SneakersAndPearls , panthercat23 , FlashFuchsia

Total votes: 693 (142 voters)

Poll is closed

02/20/2012

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bayosgirl

Come to think of it, I DO serve my husband. It just seems natural and I've always done it since we moved in together and I started cooking for him. I like for him to open doors for me, but the chair thing is a little much for me personally.

02/20/2012

SecretToyLover2

I honestly wouldn't be UPSET if he didn't pull out my chair. I just "expect" it, as in, I know he'll do it. I probably should have worded these a bit differently. lol

02/20/2012

SecretToyLover2

But he's always done it, so I'm accustomed to it at this point.

02/20/2012

Beck

I think we are both equal, so we can do things for each other. I do expect the door to be opened for me if I have my hands full. Usually, I do. I have a baby in my hands plus some crap, but he opens the door for me usually.

02/20/2012

P'Gell

I really enjoy when a man opens a door for me. I will also do it for other people, if I'm ahead of them, or if they are older or if they have a baby with them etc. I always hold the door for people who have canes or walkers etc.

I do expect My Man to open doors for me. He was raised with very few manners, and I spent a lot of time standing in front of doors until he got it what he was supposed to do.

I often like to prepare my husband's plate. Sometimes he gets embarrassed, but other times he'll ask me to do it for him. Often he cooks, so I'll fill his plate, especially if we'll be filling our plates in the kitchen and eating in an other room (we don't eat in our kitchen. We have an island, but I get dizzy if I sit on the stools, so we eat in the dining room or sometimes with tray tables in the living room. At parties, I'll often get food for him. But, sometimes he tells me to go ahead and he goes last. I think when he was a teen he was a huge eater and would go last in line to be polite. Often, we'll make sure our kids have food at a buffet dinner at someone's home and get our food last. I'm not a big eater, and I prefer to wait.

One think I hate to do is to get someone "something to drink." I think because my mother thought that was a kids' job to do, and I hated doing it when I was young. Everybody had a different ratio of ice to pop, some people wanted liquor (and I'm old enough to be part of the generation where no one though it was odd to have a 9 year old make them a mixed drink) and I was always told I made the drinks too strong.

So, when we have guests, I let them know where the pop and the booze is and unless we're having a "featured" mixed drink, people can get their own beer and ice and drinks. I found I actually enjoy making mixed drinks, but we have them so infrequently and my brother won't let me tend bar at his house. He has a special way of doing it and he always shoos me out from behind the bar.

02/20/2012

indiglo

I think opening doors is just common courtesy. I do it for strangers of either gender, and my partner is the same. He prefers to get the door for me, but if I happen to be in front of him, I'd definitely hold it open for him.

The pulling out of the chair thing... that seems a bit over the top to me and just a little too old-fashioned. So, that would make me a little uncomfortable.

The serving of food is not something I would do either, nor is it something I'd expect anyone to do for me. I'd rather get my own, because I know how hungry I am, how I want to prepare my plate, etc. So I just assume everyone feels the same way I do. I also feel like we're both equals, and we're both capable adults - so we're equally capable of cooking, preparing plates, cleaning up after, etc. I saw that kind of stuff growing up and disliked it then, and still do now.

02/20/2012

Wide Awake Daydream

It depends on the situation. Usually he opens doors for me, but if I'm ahead of him I'll hold it for him. He is usually a gentleman and he gets the baby when we go out together, so I don't mind getting the door or whatever. I wouldn't really want him to pull out my chair, I'd feel awkward, but I would be flattered. When he's home from work, he cooks (I love him so much! He's awesome!) and we serve the plates together. My religion teaches that husband and wife should respect each other fully, so I expect him to be courteous and I will always try to be courteous to him as well. I think that should be the way I interact with everyone, treat them like I would want to be treated. But I doubt I'll be pulling out anyone's chair for them unless they aren't old enough to do it.

02/20/2012

The Mother of a SiNner

Quote:

Originally posted by SecretToyLover2

its a respecta nd gesture thing really

02/20/2012

Paula

Quote:

Originally posted by indiglo

Agreed. 100%

02/20/2012

Eliyahu

Before we had kids, I always, always opened the car door for my wife - now after we each get a kid in to his car seat, it seems like there's rarely time for me to do so. I open just about every other door for her, though. When she cooks, which is just about every night now that she's a stay at home mom, she typically puts all the plates together, but we tend to set the table together just because that's how we like to do things, and that's the kind of cooperation we like our kids to see. As far as my religion teaches, my wife is my queen and to be treasured above all else. I married the right woman, so...I never needed religion to tell me this.

02/20/2012

Moein

In my society, wifes serve their husbands for every thing. But in my case I help her -not in food matters-. I can help in washing, cleaning house, bring every thing from out side, and even ironning.

02/20/2012

Rossie

I serve my husband food because...I don't want him to make a big mess in the kitchen!

02/20/2012

DeliciousSurprise

I do expect my partners to open the door for me, because it would be kind of rude if they didn't--that being said, I'll open the doors for them, too. Don't worry about pulling out my chair, though, I've got that one taken care of.

I do think that these things should be done with affection if you're going to do them, though, and not of obligation.

02/21/2012

Coralbell

He usually opens door for me, but I do it for him sometimes too. He's never pulled out my chair, but I don't want him to. I actually hate when people pull out my chair for me. If I cooked I will serve him food, and if he cooked he will serve me food.

02/21/2012

NarcissisticLust

Quote:

Originally posted by SecretToyLover2

I expect my boyfriend to open doors for me, but, to my knowledge, that is the most sexist aspect of our relationship.

02/21/2012

Djiffy

As long as general courtesy is shown and I'm not treated horribly, I don't mind if a guy (or girl) isn't constantly chivalrous. Then again I'm pretty hard to offend and like doing things for myself, so

03/02/2012

BlooJay

Great poll.

03/02/2012

Secret Pleasure

I think that things should be done eqaully and that respect is something that is given equally. I was not brought up like this but some things are just common curtousy.

03/02/2012

Avant-garde

I open the door out of common courtesy regardless of who it is.

03/02/2012

curious kitten

I don't see it as an expectation or an obligation. It was sweet when he did it. We took care of each other and did these things for each other. I cook, he cooked, I opened doors, he opened doors, I served, he served; at least till he was too ill to do much of anything.

04/05/2012

WhoopieDoo

There are some things I always do (cook, because he can't) and some things he always does (mow the lawn, because the sun hates me), but generally we share all the chores and such and get things for each other when prompted.

04/05/2012

Undead

Quote:

Originally posted by SecretToyLover2

I do nice things for her. Or hold doors open for other people if they are close behind me. It's nice to do things for your S.O. but as an equal and not taking advantage of each other or making the other feel like they can't do anything on their own.

04/05/2012

cottonxcandy

We are very equal with everything.

04/05/2012

Tangles

Interesting poll! I sometimes serve my partner and he sometimes serves me. There are really no set rules. He does like to open doors for me, though, which I don't mind at all.

04/05/2012

Mwar

He opens doors for me, but I don't expect it. I'm from the city, so I don't expect any outward gestures like that. When it comes to serving, I tend to more, but we shift.

04/06/2012

Sex Positivity

My beau and I are very equal with things like this.

04/06/2012

Alx

My experience with past relationship has shown that it really doesn't matter. Were I to do it, it'd be for the sake of spoiling the other.

04/10/2012

ViVix

Quote:

Originally posted by SecretToyLover2

Either of us can get the door. Either of us will serve one another depending on who is hosting. It doesn't take these kinds of gestures to show love and respect for us.

04/10/2012

Various

We are equal, but if we are having date night he always opens the door for me, pulls out my chair, etc. Makes the night that much more special. Usually I serve his food because I'm already making plates for the kids and my father so why leave him out?

04/10/2012

Total posts: 62 Unique posters: 59

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