Giving Relationship Advice To Others....

Contributor: js250 js250
I have friends that come to me for relationship advice and dealing with personal issues...Some of this is in part to my volunteer work at the SAFE House but otherwise they say I listen great and offer sound advice that is not intrusive or bossy. Hmmmm....

--How often do you find you are listening to or offering advice to others?
--Why do you think the people choose you to talk to?
--Do they ever take your advice?
06/07/2013
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Contributor: eri86 eri86
I'm single. And three of my friends often spoke to me about their relationships when they needed someone to listen. I didn't so much advise as I did listen and make suggestions based on my understanding of what they told me and my opinions.

All of them are happily married now. And I'm still single.

Not to begrudge them their happiness or anything.
06/08/2013
Contributor: SaucyxGirl SaucyxGirl
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
I have friends that come to me for relationship advice and dealing with personal issues...Some of this is in part to my volunteer work at the SAFE House but otherwise they say I listen great and offer sound advice that is not intrusive or bossy. ... more
I work with a young lady who jumps from unhealthy relationship to unhealthy relationship. Sometimes there is barely even three days between these relationships. I try my best to listen, but sadly I often find myself opening my mouth and offering advice. She is still not ready to see that she deserves so much more than these lazy, assholes that say they are men are giving her. Poor girl has no self esteem/ self worth and usually sees any advice as an attack against her. So like I said, I try to just listen now and refrain from giving advice.
06/08/2013
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
I have friends that come to me for relationship advice and dealing with personal issues...Some of this is in part to my volunteer work at the SAFE House but otherwise they say I listen great and offer sound advice that is not intrusive or bossy. ... more
Quite often, actually. It's always been that way. I am a pretty great listener too & tend to be empathetic, so I think that's why people come to me with issues they have. I don't always give any advice, but do sometimes & yes, sometimes, they take it. My sister, especially.
06/08/2013
Contributor: Pete's Princess Pete's Princess
I think people come to me for advice because I am not judgmental about the choices or lifestyle they choose. If something they are doing is wrong for them, I point it out in a loving way or get them to see how their choice may impact them or someone else. I try very hard not to let my bias or agenda into my advice.

I have been through some difficult issues myself, so have some experience with good and bad relationships. Generally, I share what has happened to me or what I have seen happen to friends or family. I think showing how you worked through something or how you screwed up is better. That way you are not telling the person what to do.

I do have one friend who is going through a long drawn out divorce situation. I do give her direct advice on how to respond to her ex because she is a bit too emotional right now. She has taken my advice and it seems to be working.
06/08/2013