...Ok so I was wondering if my good friends at Eden would like to give me some advice.

My fiance and I(Both pan-Sexual Women) have a roommate, let's call her "Rina".
Rina...is a slob. She doesn't understand the meaning of personal space. And even though she's almost 24 years old she acts like a 14 year old.
I work and I do chores at home. As does my fiance. Our roommate Rina leaves raw meat on the counter tops doesn't help with even the simplest of chores such as getting the mail and leaves her dirty clothes(Underwear included) all over the floor. She has been known not to flush the toilet she uses our bath towels when she can't find her own, and she leaves her sex toys laying about on the floor...used.
I have tried telling her, asking her, forcing her to help around the house. I tell her not to leave food out including chocolate because we have cats.
I've even gone so far as to completely clean her room for her top to bottom and supplied her with organization tools too keep it clean and don't even get so much as a thank you until my fiance say's "You know Rina in cases like these one usually says thank you".
And to top it all off I'm a passive person. I like to take care of people. And when Rina doesn't take care of her own health I do it for her by cooking healthy meals(Which she has actually thrown away before barely touched)doing her laundry and trying to get her to exercise with me, generally being a mother like figure to her...and not only do I have nothing to show for it but she has a bit of a crush on me...on me an engaged person who she is friends with both.

Someone please...anyone give me some advice, I just need some stress relief from all this.

Much Love,
maryjane less

This is why I could never have a roommate. Sit down with her and give her an ultimatum. Maybe that will help? if she doesnt start cleaning up after herself and helping around the house you will be forced to give her the boot and find someone else to take her place. less

This actually reminds me of someone who lives here who but has been practically living with her boyfriend 10 years older who has nasty rotten teeth,doesnt' shower much and has 2 kids. she won't eat healthy,only junk food especially frozen hot pockets and things like that. ANything healthy she turns her nose at and says EWWW. There are a couple exceptions she will eat BLTS and something my mom makes forgot what it was other than that she won't even get off her ass to cook for herself. she gained so much weight she has nasty ugly stretch marks on her whole body belly,back of legs,boobs..she has lost some weight because of some medication she's on other than that she is a nasty dirty slob and a uncaring selfish bitch. THe only stuff in life s he shows she even cares about is her labtop and her boyfriend...which has me wondering how long will they last? she seems to go through guys alot like they are F buddies. No wonder she is a really dirty nasty person I wish would change someday/ less

Get a large rubbermaid tote, set it just inside her bedroom door, and whatever you find of hers, toss it in, as is. If she asks where her stuff is, point. If the tub gets full and she's capable of ignoring a a tub of rotting raw meat and dirty underwear in her bedroom, well maybe she has some sort of mental health issues that need addressing, and getting booted out will be the rock bottom moment she needs to make herself get help.

Sorry you're dealing with this behavior. less

Is there any reason why you are obligated to keep living with her?

Are you on a lease together? Is this your home? Hers?

If it's your home, or you're on the lease and she's not, I'd give her one last warning and then I'd give her notice that she's gotta go.

Otherwise, I'd start looking for a new place to live.


I've learned that if people have no inclination to change themselves, you can't say anything to make them want to.

You can lead a horse to water, and all that... less

You need to speak up. Stop being passive. Don't be passive aggressive. Until you sit her down and have the talk with her and explain how you feel and why it's not fair and that she will have to move out if she cannot contribute, then YOU are also acting like a child. less

This actually reminds me of someone who lives here who but has been practically living with her boyfriend 10 years older who has nasty rotten teeth,doesnt' shower much and has 2 kids. she won't eat healthy,only junk food especially frozen hot pockets and things like that. ANything healthy she turns her nose at and says EWWW. There are a couple exceptions she will eat BLTS and something my mom makes forgot what it was other than that she won't even get off her ass to cook for herself. she gained so much weight she has nasty ugly stretch marks on her whole body belly,back of legs,boobs..she has lost some weight because of some medication she's on other than that she is a nasty dirty slob and a uncaring selfish bitch. THe only stuff in life s he shows she even cares about is her labtop and her boyfriend...which has me wondering how long will they last? she seems to go through guys alot like they are F buddies. No wonder she is a really dirty nasty person I wish would change someday/ less