The New Intimacy

How often do you feel misunderstood--as a person?

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Contributor: js250 js250
Most of us have had to deal with the occasional moments when we are just misunderstood. There is no getting around that fact!!

--However, how often do you feel misunderstood as a person, who you are? --How does that make you feel?
--Have you done anything to change that?
--Do you believe it is a) their fault, b)your fault c)the circumstances?
--If you feel it is your fault-what are you doing to change it?
05/21/2013
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Contributor: SydneyScreams SydneyScreams
It happens to me quite a bit, but there's a lot of social stigmatism about what I do (adult work). People think that my life (and career) is 100% about sex.

It used to bother me a lot, but then it occurred to me that some people see my life how they wish their life was (not in a jealousy aspect, but more the desire for freedom and openness). I try to explain and show people the non-sex aspects of my career and steer conversations away from sexual related topics, but there are some people who just can't get it out of their heads that a "sex worker" means having a lot of sex.

That's just life. I stopped getting bothered after a while unless it came from friends who know better. Some people just don't know, and I can't blame them for not knowing at first.
05/21/2013
Contributor: Mwar Mwar
It's happening to me recently with my housemates. They think when I get upset or annoyed it's only a surface thing.

For example: Let's say the dishes are left to rot in the sink for half a week or longer (1.5 feet away from the dishwasher I emptied, if I may add). Sure, I'm a bit annoyed at the fact there are dishes in the sink, but I'm really annoyed because I've asked them to put their dishes in the dish washer and they just ignore me (they'll leave so much crap in the sink that you can't physically access the water without being contaminated, so good luck if you want to cook).

I find their inconsiderate behavior tied to the act upsetting, but all they see are dishes or bags of trash or a spill on the floor and think I'm freaking out, and too negative. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt the first few times you screw up, but when you continue your behavior the "oops, I forgot," becomes "I don't care enough to change my behavior, screw you."
05/21/2013
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
I think I'm often misunderstood as a person. I have the best of intentions and that's not always recognized. It breaks my heart because I try SO HARD to do all the right things, be the best person I can be; and sometimes it just feels like it's for nothing (though I know it's not).

I've tried changing myself so much over the past few years, trying just about everything I can to allow people to make sense of who I am, how I feel, and why I do what I do.

Honestly, after trying to explain everything out, after all the changes I've made, I no longer believe it's my fault. I can only change myself so much before I'm no longer me anymore.
05/21/2013
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Extroverts don't want to understand how introverts work, and then call us abnormal and tell us to be more like them because they're normal.
05/21/2013
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
Extroverts don't want to understand how introverts work, and then call us abnormal and tell us to be more like them because they're normal.
That actually sums it up well.
05/21/2013
Contributor: Hummingbird Hummingbird
I only feel misunderstood as a person when I meet with one friend who always insists on acting like my mom and always analyzes what I say turning it around to mean something much different. It makes me feel like a little girl with no valid opinion, thoughts or experiences, many that I have but she doesn't know about nor be able to accept.

I'm not the greatest conversationalist in the world but I do try to use the exact words to express my meaning. As a result, I say very little around her, mostly yes, no answers and questioning her on her interests. I realize there is no way I can change who she is but she is a good well meaning person.

I don't believe its anyone's fault, more of an occupational hazard for her, she used to be a social worker with the state. I think she just got in the habit of deeply interrogating other's intentions, wants and needs for too long.
05/21/2013
Contributor: eri86 eri86
Not as much as when I was younger. No one got me back then. But I've met and made friends with like minded people now.
05/22/2013
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
Most of us have had to deal with the occasional moments when we are just misunderstood. There is no getting around that fact!!

--However, how often do you feel misunderstood as a person, who you are? --How does that make you feel?
--Have ... more
Hmmm... I don't think this happens to me very often. Never really paid attention I don't think.

I don't think I feel very misunderstood, as who I am a lot. Not on a daily basis. I know I experience some expressions of misunderstanding from people when it comes to my lifestyle (being a writer with weird hours and my school choices). People I know are not at all used to writers and students who choose the path I have. I guess because they definitely act like you're strange if you don't do a regular ol' job and go to school for something common like nursing or to be a teacher.

It's no big deal. Most people just seem surprised. Once, I kind of got the impression a lady was suspicious of me after she asked my job and what I went to school for.

Oh, but then again, I am a little bit paranoid too. Lol. That could be it.

I know I've ABSOLUTELY felt "misunderstood" at a doctor visit. Especially recently. Ha! More like "ignored." Completely.


Another actual incidence where I really felt VERY misunderstood (about my wants and needs, not my person so much, although the nurse did act like I was a nut for being all questiony and refusing a vaccine and finger in the rear.)

Do I believe it was my fault? Hell no! If I have already vehemently refused something once before & you continue to push it on me and I very clearly say "no, I don't want that," then it ain't my fault if you don't understand (ahem, CARE). Lol.

How does it make me feel? Angry. Angry enough to have scheduled an appointment to have a talk about the entire issue and how it can be prevented in the future with the supervisor.

What am I doing to change it? Talking with the supervisor about possible changes to the way the vaccine is presented (and pushed forcefully one people.) Also, hoping to at least have them considering putting the REAL information and risks on the paper.

So yea, I feel pretty good about this. Lol.

Now that you have me thinking about people misunderstanding people, I just thought of a couple more ways I KNOW I'm misunderstood by tons of people. Lol. Well, the thinker is a' goin' now. Thank you darling. You always give us neat thinking stuffs.
05/22/2013