The New Intimacy

how do I tell my gf religious parents that im atheist?

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Contributor: ahammer ahammer
hoping you guys can help me out there.. i'm meeting my gf parents for the 1st time next month. they are highly religious and I was hoping about just not bringing it up.. but they are already asking about it. I don't want them to prejudge me on it and I don't like to push my beliefs onto other(I don't like them being push on me but that is a different matter) .

I just not sure what I should do I don't want to lie to them as that would be bad long term but I don't want them to judge me till they really get to know me.

I was thinking about telling them im jewish(born that way but feels to much like a lie to set well).

I was thinking about just telling them I dont want to talk about it. im not sure that would go over well

what should I do?
01/23/2011
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Contributor: Illusional Illusional
You really shouldn't have to lie about any asset of yourself.

Personally I'd say "I've looked through many vices of religion and haven't settled on yet on which is the right avenue for me. Luckily I am very blessed that your daughter is very willing and understanding "
01/23/2011
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
If pressed, you could just say you're nonthiest. Religious people sometimes have strong reactions to the word athiest, as though you're attacking what they believe in, but nonthiest sounds more neutral. Or you could say that you don't belong to any particular religion which is true but avoids actually stating that you don't believe in god.

One time at a family gathering my grandmother in law loudly proclaimed "Thank God we're all Republican and Catholic!" My husband and I just looked at each other. Wrong on both counts.
01/23/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by ahammer
hoping you guys can help me out there.. i'm meeting my gf parents for the 1st time next month. they are highly religious and I was hoping about just not bringing it up.. but they are already asking about it. I don't want them to prejudge me ... more
I like Tuesday's idea. And I like Illusional's idea. IF it comes up (and I say 'if' because they might be haranguing their daughter, but may not ask you on first meeting) I would say something in between, something like:

"Well, I was born into a Jewish family, but it's not a faith I practice. I've looked into other faiths and I haven't been able to connect with any of them. Respectfully, at this time I'm not interested in pursuing any faith."

(say faith, not religion. Religion is about action and rhetoric, Faith is about beliefs and if they're Christians, many times it's about faith more than religion)

If they push any further than that, reiterate, "I'm not seeking to clash with you, and I really hope that you can respect me and get to know me based on who I am and not based on what I believe."
01/23/2011
Contributor: Vaccinium Vaccinium
I'm not atheist (agnostic is what most would call me), but I've been in the situation enough times that I've got a standard response.

I just say that I have an open mind, but I can't believe (or disbelieve) in anything that doesn't have at least one fact to support it.

It may not work for you, but I'm not sure anyone has ever pressed me further on it.
01/23/2011
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
I'm also agnostic, so I usually say something along the lines of that.
01/24/2011