So my soon to be sister-in-law is driving me crazy! She seems to make up lie after lie, exaggerate her life experiences and talks down to me even though I am a much more well-rounded person and actually accomplish the goals/experiences I talk about...She lies about her degree, her college, her work (she claims she went to NYU, but has no degree, claims she is 4 credits from a masters degree but has no bachelors, and claims she is fluent in 4 languages) We had a family dinner and she didn't stop talking about herself the entire time.

I would love to be able to call her on her lies, but many are impossible to prove/disprove. Do you think i should just ignore her and keep being the bigger person even though she pushes every button? Or should I be more aggressive so she knows I won't tolerate her disrespectful lies?

Grrrr, I just need some feedback! What do you think is the most appropriate thing to do? Part of me wants to keep the peace, but the other wants to stick my foot in her mouth so she'll be quiet... less

I feel ya! My sister-in-law is a total selfish bitch with a superiority complex and loooooves to gossip to family about each other. It used to make my husband and I fight...and honestly, it is SO not worth it. I don't have to prove to anyone that she is who she is. Fuck her. Let her keep playing her little games and falling all over herself to seek attention and prey upon the sympathies of others. I don't put effort into that relationship anymore. I don't think about it. I don't really talk about it. I don't count on her or need her for anything. It does not affect us anymore. Because we chose to just disconnect ourselves from the drama.

As for YOUR situation, people are not as stupid as they may seem... I am betting others know she is a liar and are humoring her, RexyRN. Just treat her like a ridiculous and pathetic person who has no bearing on your life. It will all catch up with her. Live your life. Don't let her make you crazy. You can't fix her and you should not try. less

I know a guy like this. If you total all of his stories, he has 2 glass eyes, a titanium hip (or two), and is a former black belt/physics prof at UC Berkley...he even changed his name to Logan...not legally.

Best advice: Do nothing, but remember all her stories. When something contradicts, ask for clarification or more detail...and then repeat it all back to them. less

I have to agree with Victoria. Avoid this person as much as possible, don't give her antics any more attention than they deserve, which is none. She likely behaves this way in an effort to garner more attention for herself. The very best response to this is to give as little attention as possible.

I am sure you are not the only person in the family who knows what kind of person she really is and karma has a way of catching up with those who deserve it. less

Ha! The list would be HUGE! off the top of my head... Her aunt owns the world's biggest Newfoundland dog (280 pounds!!!) and she has been an executive chef, and writes historical romances (about women with celiac disease?) for penguin. She can't drive since she gets so motion sick, but LOVES the NYC subway! Also, she has chronic fatigue syndrome ( so she can't work weekends), celiac disease (although she loves cake) and had stage 4 (!!) ovarian cancer!

It just makes me sick that she makes up all these illnesses that real people struggle with all the time! less

So my soon to be sister-in-law is driving me crazy! She seems to make up lie after lie, exaggerate her life experiences and talks down to me even though I am a much more well-rounded person and actually accomplish the goals/experiences I talk about...She lies about her degree, her college, her work (she claims she went to NYU, but has no degree, claims she is 4 credits from a masters degree but has no bachelors, and claims she is fluent in 4 languages) We had a family dinner and she didn't stop talking about herself the entire time.

I would love to be able to call her on her lies, but many are impossible to prove/disprove. Do you think i should just ignore her and keep being the bigger person even though she pushes every button? Or should I be more aggressive so she knows I won't tolerate her disrespectful lies?

Grrrr, I just need some feedback! What do you think is the most appropriate thing to do? Part of me wants to keep the peace, but the other wants to stick my foot in her mouth so she'll be quiet... less

Oh gods do I know someone like that too! She also has had stage 4 ovarian cancer (fake of course) and actually made her young children go to a fake funeral. Then she complained when they didn't cry and make a scene. Thankfully my friend who is the father of one of the children is taking steps to remove him from the situation. Anyway, on to your situation....

1 - I'm so sorry you have to deal with someone like that.
2 - Have you spoken to your fiance about her, how it's making you feel and so forth? Joining a family creates such unique situations. I'm kind of in the middle; remember the stories, but I wouldn't call her out on it unless it becomes physically threatening, or like in the situation I spoke about; endangers a child or another person.

The thing about actually engaging someone like her in a debate is that they are so very good with lies and word games that they can contradict everything you say and come up with a new lie to make it plausible.

They do it only for attention; and by getting up in her face you are giving her attention. Especially if you start it, it will make her the victim.

I'd bide my time and talk to your fiance. Make sure he knows how it is causing you to feel and see if he has any advice for dealing with her. Also, I'd bring up to him just how much it's making you not want to go to family functions.

I hope you can get this resolved *hugs* less

I had a friend who was married to a compulsive liar. He was actually diagnosed as one. He would make up all sorts of stories and tell his family, her, etc.. Eventually she couldn't take it anymore and they divorced, but they stay in touch because they have a child together.

More than likely, she needs help or is wanting attention. But, I would leave that to her immediate family to handle. Just ignore it, say "oh, that's nice". I would be afraid that if you tried to call her on something that she would deny she ever said that to you and make you look bad. less

Thankfully my husband can't stand her either and it doesn't cause friction in our relationship. It's actually his brother's fiance, so I am unwillingly becoming related to her and their family is so close it is impossible to stay out of her path of destruction.

Your point about about her being so good at lying is right on! SHe is really smart, and she is very good at twisting words and convincing people who just met her that she is so worldly and charming. It just irritates me that she takes over every family function with her stories and then tries to manipulate my mother in law and I's relationship.

I have been ignoring her and I think the best remedy is just to ignore and laugh on the inside. Everyone is so right, her true colors will come out! less