Inter-racial dating

Inter-racial dating

Secret Pleasure Secret Pleasure
So I have a friend who hates black people. I completly disagree with how she thinks and think it is very sad that she has these views. (she grew up in a very racist home). The issue though is that this guy I am kinda interested in is half black. Now I haven't told my friend about this guy yet because I do not know how she will take it or respond. Or for that matter what her family will think. Now usually I do not care what people think but she is my friend and so her opinion matters to me and how she feels matters. Idk how to handle this situation though what would you do?
04/09/2012
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spunkmonkey spunkmonkey
Who cares what other people think. It's your life, you need to worry about your happiness. If your friend does not like it, so be it.
04/10/2012
Eliyahu Eliyahu
you're not trying to set your friend up with him, you're wanting to date him...if she doesn't like it, that's her problem. and if she hates black people, what kind of person is she? if you do date and eventually sleep with him, will she hate you because you've become "tainted" by him? i'm jewish, does she automatically hate me too? it's my experience that people who hate generally hate everyone different from themself.

another way to think of it - by catering to her hate (by worrying what she'll think about you dating someone with a different skin pigment), in a way you're legitimizing her behavior. if you think what she's doing is wrong (and it is), take a stand.
04/10/2012
bayosgirl bayosgirl
If she's truly your friend, she'll want the best for you, period. SHE may choose not to date black men, but a good friend would support your decision to do so if you want. And if she's THAT superficial that she doesn't like you because you're dating him....well, you don't need her.
04/10/2012
GONE! GONE!
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
If she's truly your friend, she'll want the best for you, period. SHE may choose not to date black men, but a good friend would support your decision to do so if you want. And if she's THAT superficial that she doesn't like you ...
This! It's not her love life so she should stay out.
04/10/2012
Annemarie Annemarie
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
If she's truly your friend, she'll want the best for you, period. SHE may choose not to date black men, but a good friend would support your decision to do so if you want. And if she's THAT superficial that she doesn't like you ...
Exactly what I was going to say.

I don't think I could even be friends with such a person.
04/10/2012
powerandintent powerandintent
If you like the guy, date him. If your friend is truly a friend, she'll support your decision, and who knows, maybe she'll even start to overcome some of her hate.
04/10/2012
ghalik ghalik
All of the above and if it makes her uncomfortable, that's her problem.
04/10/2012
Beck Beck
It is very sad that her views were most likely forced into her head at a young age. Her having these views doesn't make her a bad person, but a person with different views then yourself. You need to talk to her and tell her those are her views, not yours. If she wants you in her life she has to accept that you are different from her.
04/10/2012
Total posts: 9
Unique posters: 9