This is a bit of a rant. I need to talk I've just had it I can't deal. It's that time of the month AND my irritable bowel syndrom is RAGING on top of that the worst days of work ever AND I can't even get enough sleep now I have a headache because I didn 't get enough sleep. Work is very demanding and hard and I didn't sleep well now I got all this stress of my dad being on vacation so he is home at the house doing nothing for a month except drving me up the fucking wall especially because my mom is a piece of work and can't stand him plus she is like a little kid in life doesn't get what she wants and whines and crys and there is alot more very umpleasant things I won't mention. So I'm an extremly light sleeper when people hack their lungs out the room next to me(from smoking I hate smoking SO much) or even the room farthest away it wakes me up or jerks me up from sleep always has,tried sleeping with earplus and can't. Can't sleep with any noise on. Why am I so sensitive?! even shutting a door the other end of the house wakes me up. My mom and I have no wher else to go and can't afford to move but I am in misery. The reason I stay at my current job is because the manager always does the schedule I want 5-11pm if I work somewhere else they most likely won't hire someone who only works that much and 5 days a week plus I will get fired if my schedule changes because I'm stuck in the bathroom several times an hour and even late for my work shift by a few minutes everyday I'd rather be fired than ever say a word this is like my deep secret. I live a miserable life with the people here and every single day I'm suffering no one would believe me anyway because I appear normal at work and believe me when I want to cry and often it is at work I have to hold it in or I just look angry or weird looks on my face I'm a prisoner in my own body somedays I just want to scream fuck you body you piece of shit why can't you just fucking work. THe only break I have caught is living at my dad's I don't have to pay rent and I still have my job. I don't even want to eat today I'm afraid of food but if I don't eat I will get dizzy because my ibs will get mad at me. I want to not go to work today with a passion but if I don't I will get introuble maybe I can find someone with the flu and they could caugh on me oh wait I'd love to do that and miss work except my body stops working even more when I get sick because of ibs. My boyfriend is going to be gone for abvout a month so I will be super lonely. Things better start looking up or I'll be like a living dead girl everyday like I have been. The only things I want in life is to have my health and my own place but on my wages and being ill I don't think it will ever happen. I've gotten to the point I almost shut down at work and stare off and won't work or move. I start moving slow and stare off and snap myself out of it.