It depends on how it's presented.

However, in the case of the massage books, buy one without her knowing and read up on it. Then give her a massage with your new moves. When she inquires or raves about your skills mention you got a book on it because you wanted to learn more, This is an easy way to introduce books.

Otherwise, it depends on what your buying. If you say you think she would love it and you want to please her, perhaps she will relent.

All women are different and hell knows many of us are self conscious. It's not a personal thing against you, it's probably something internal going on.

Good Luck!

No. It has nothing to do with right and wrong, everything to do with the other person's security level and feelings of approaching changes sexually. Think about it from the other person's point of view. If she bought a book on how to orgasm during penetration, how would you feel? If she approached it from a "lets see what else is out there" point of view, would you feel better? It is all in the presentation. No one wants to feel like they are lacking sexually.......

I don't think it's offensive to women, in general. It might be offensive to CERTAIN PEOPLE.

I wouldnt be offended. I actually think that extra help with the sex life would be great to keep things new and exciting.

Maybe you're wife is just taking it like she said, that you're not okay with whatever she's doing now. Try a different approach by maybe saying what she's doing it just fine but maybe we can add versitility. Or you can purchase it for yourself (if it's a book) use it on her (who wouldn't love that?) and see if maybe she'd like to try to. As for other items on here I suppose it depends on the person. I personally would love to get gifts that spice things up.

i will admit when my fiancee brought home a book called "how to tickle his pickle" i was offended at first but he got better at talking about things with me and it made me feel more confident in informing him about areas he needed to work on lol

I think it depends on the situation and the gift.

Getting her a book on massage would be a bad idea, because to her it might send the message that you want her to learn how to massage to please YOU... Which isn't as bad if you just bring it up randomly, but in giving it to her for her birthday/Christmas, you're basically hinting that you were more thinking about yourself, since the only person (I assume) she would be using her new skills on would be you.

I'd imagine it's the same as getting her a something like a vacuum cleaner or a cleaning supplies or something. Basically it sends the message that 'I couldn't think of something that you would personally like as a gift and I want you to clean the floor more often, so here, take this'.

Or at least that would be my take on the subject.

I don't think it's a gender thing as much as an individual or relationship thing.