For all those that have children, how do you find time for sex? It seems like every time my fiance and I try to be intimate the kids wake up. Any ideas on how to get around this?
Kids and your sex life
08/16/2012
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Send to a sitter for the night, lol...
08/16/2012
Ah yes - the size of the space you live in can make 'hiding' difficult. We found that closing the door and leaving the TV on was our best 'cover'. Thankfully they're grown now - we laugh that my son, whose room adjoined ours must have brain damage from listing to us have sex for 20 years!
08/16/2012
I would give them up for adoption before I give up sex!
08/17/2012
We only had problems with him waking up during sex when he was a baby. As he got older he started to sleep through the night which made things easier. If ever he wakes up, we just stop and continue the next night.
08/17/2012
lil man would only stir when he was a little one.. best way is to see if they are out and when they are your good, and tv always helps and keeping some kind of light noise in their room whether tv or fan something.
08/17/2012
I always made sure our kids got plenty of attention during the day. For many years I stayed at home with them so they could get everything they needed. That way if they did wake at night (and were older than babies) I knew something was wrong. Even when I did work outside the home, I made sure they got plenty of attention when I was home (meaning no video games or TV, just one on one play and attention) so that when they did go to bed, they were happy with the day and wouldn't need me at night unless they really needed me for something.
We had a set bedtime and a bedtime ritual, so they knew it was bedtime. After that, we had little trouble with kids getting up in the night.
My solution was LOTS of daytime attention and a good healthy bedtime ritual. This consisted of bath, jammies, teeth brushed, some books read, stories told and/or talking with each child. Then lying down with them for a while then bedtime for the children. We were very consistent with this and it works well.
We had a set bedtime and a bedtime ritual, so they knew it was bedtime. After that, we had little trouble with kids getting up in the night.
My solution was LOTS of daytime attention and a good healthy bedtime ritual. This consisted of bath, jammies, teeth brushed, some books read, stories told and/or talking with each child. Then lying down with them for a while then bedtime for the children. We were very consistent with this and it works well.
08/17/2012
Thanks everyone for the ideas! The sitter situation though its hard to explain that one its a mile long story!
08/17/2012
Quote:
A sitter situation?
Originally posted by
hawaiian chick
Thanks everyone for the ideas! The sitter situation though its hard to explain that one its a mile long story!
The thing is your sitter is supposed to raise your kids the way you would if you were home. There will always be variations, but they shouldn't be major. I had to fire a day care person, because I felt she wasn't treating my children properly. We felt the dip in income was better than our children possibly being emotionally harmed by this person.
Most of the time, if kids get your attention that they NEED during the day, they won't seek you out at night unless they are sick, or scared or really sad about something. If daytime attention is lacking, they KNOW you are relaxing in the evening and most of all you are there at night. So, if the daytime isn't going well, they are going to need your attention at night.
Kids need a LOT of attention from their parents, nothing is going to change this. Often changes need to be made in order to change behavior, for both you and your kids.
Increase fun daytime attention, reduce video games and TV during the day, and in the evening while you are home (and play with them instead) and institute a bedtime ritual and I can pretty much guarantee that within two or three months, things will be better.
Good luck. My Man and I have three kids, two are now adults, (and one is an adolescent, now) so we've been there.
08/17/2012
Do you mean they are waking up during the night or in the morning?
Our solution was very similar to P'Gell. Our kids had set routines that included lots of time with us. At bedtime we expected them to go to bed and STAY. When they were young they had stories, drinks, hugs & kisses, and then were left to go to sleep. They were not to bother us unless they were sick or hurt. For the most part this worked very well. Our youngest did have some troubles with nightmares. She knew she had to knock on our door before barging in. It didn't happen often and was not a hindrance to our sex life.
My dh's work schedule had us getting up very early so the kids were never awake yet if we wanted an early morning quickie.
In addition we usually set them up with a movie once or twice a week either right after dinner or Saturday morning. That always gave us a nice chunk of time.
They are grown now but still at home. They are used to us disappearing and don't ask questions. I guess we trained them right.
Our solution was very similar to P'Gell. Our kids had set routines that included lots of time with us. At bedtime we expected them to go to bed and STAY. When they were young they had stories, drinks, hugs & kisses, and then were left to go to sleep. They were not to bother us unless they were sick or hurt. For the most part this worked very well. Our youngest did have some troubles with nightmares. She knew she had to knock on our door before barging in. It didn't happen often and was not a hindrance to our sex life.
My dh's work schedule had us getting up very early so the kids were never awake yet if we wanted an early morning quickie.
In addition we usually set them up with a movie once or twice a week either right after dinner or Saturday morning. That always gave us a nice chunk of time.
They are grown now but still at home. They are used to us disappearing and don't ask questions. I guess we trained them right.
08/17/2012
I think my second youngest suffers from nightmares he wakes up saying hes scared. And when we ask him what he is scared of he says the monsters. He must be struggling with that. To be honest with you for his age I didn't think he would be having nightmares at least not as much as he does.
08/17/2012
Quote:
Some kids have nightmares more than others. A nightlight and your assurance that you will be there for him if he gets scared really helps.
Originally posted by
hawaiian chick
I think my second youngest suffers from nightmares he wakes up saying hes scared. And when we ask him what he is scared of he says the monsters. He must be struggling with that. To be honest with you for his age I didn't think he would be having
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I think my second youngest suffers from nightmares he wakes up saying hes scared. And when we ask him what he is scared of he says the monsters. He must be struggling with that. To be honest with you for his age I didn't think he would be having nightmares at least not as much as he does.
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How old is he? Three and four is the prime age for nightmares, but kids can get them at any age. Some people never outgrow them. My dad is in his 70s and still gets them regularly.
08/17/2012
They usually go visit their grandparents on Saturday or Sunday so we have alone time then and wait until they've gone to bed.
08/17/2012
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If he doesn't have a peanut allergy give him a spoonful of peanut butter before bed. Nightmares solved. My husband told me this because both my son and I get terrible nightmares. I don't know why it works, but it works.
Originally posted by
hawaiian chick
I think my second youngest suffers from nightmares he wakes up saying hes scared. And when we ask him what he is scared of he says the monsters. He must be struggling with that. To be honest with you for his age I didn't think he would be having
...
more
I think my second youngest suffers from nightmares he wakes up saying hes scared. And when we ask him what he is scared of he says the monsters. He must be struggling with that. To be honest with you for his age I didn't think he would be having nightmares at least not as much as he does.
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08/17/2012
Quote:
Weirdest thing I have heard. Maybe it's the placebo effect?
Originally posted by
- Kira -
If he doesn't have a peanut allergy give him a spoonful of peanut butter before bed. Nightmares solved. My husband told me this because both my son and I get terrible nightmares. I don't know why it works, but it works.
08/17/2012
Our son doesn't usually get up in the night unless something is wrong. He's a pretty sound sleeper.
Regarding the sitter situation, parents occasionally need a few hours off for their own sanity. Or at least I do. If at all possible, try to find someone who will give you and your SO some down time here and there. I don't mean all the time, just once every other week or even once a month.
Regarding the sitter situation, parents occasionally need a few hours off for their own sanity. Or at least I do. If at all possible, try to find someone who will give you and your SO some down time here and there. I don't mean all the time, just once every other week or even once a month.
08/17/2012
We just close the door once shes gone to bed and leave the tv on, then again our daughter could sleep through a bomb being dropped LOL
08/17/2012
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just lock door and have sex dont open even if there knocking they can wait a few minutes while you guys relieve yourselfs
Originally posted by
hawaiian chick
For all those that have children, how do you find time for sex? It seems like every time my fiance and I try to be intimate the kids wake up. Any ideas on how to get around this?
08/17/2012
Quote:
We usually wait until they are in bed too!
Originally posted by
unfulfilled
They usually go visit their grandparents on Saturday or Sunday so we have alone time then and wait until they've gone to bed.
08/29/2012
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Awesome I'm going to try that! Thanks for the idea! I did have to reread that though I though it said if they are allergic to peanut butter feed them a spoonful.
Originally posted by
- Kira -
If he doesn't have a peanut allergy give him a spoonful of peanut butter before bed. Nightmares solved. My husband told me this because both my son and I get terrible nightmares. I don't know why it works, but it works.
08/29/2012
We have taught our kids to use the courtesy of knocking before entering our bedroom if the door is closed. Plus the lock on the door helps as well.
11/12/2012
It's tougher with a very small little one....but the kiddos are getting a bit older for us, and tend to sleep through the night. If they wake up, we stop (obviously!) and comfort them. Depending on whether they just need a quick snuggle and a drink of water....or if one of them needs more attention....we'll decide what to do. The kids come first for me. If I know they need me I couldn't really get into any kind of play. Once they are tucked happily in bed and fast asleep, it's my time to play!
11/12/2012
We have to stay up late sometimes so we can but if he needs a quick fix we figure out different ways to make it worn my under covers for him helps if he needs his quickie which I try to help if I can he is a man
11/12/2012
It's all about timing, proper bedtimes, wearing the kids out before bedtime and locks on the doors.
11/12/2012
I've got a nineteen year old still at home.
Given that I can be, uh sort of be loud sometimes and my GF doesn't feel comfortable having sex when he's home. So... I've often had to bribe him to take off for a few hours.
Given that I can be, uh sort of be loud sometimes and my GF doesn't feel comfortable having sex when he's home. So... I've often had to bribe him to take off for a few hours.
11/12/2012
Total posts: 25
Unique posters: 18