MY DAD OPENED MY EF PACKAGE! FML!!!

Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
I told him meat was coming and yesterday I told him and showed it to him and for some reason he thought it was meat again? WTF anyway he opened my package and I got holy hell! He threatened to kick me out on the street even. He even said next time it came in he would throw it in the garbage..So that means he will be opening my mail again. I was quite uncomfortable when he took the paddle out and said wtf do you need a paddle for me? My mom calledl hi cellphone for me and he would let me take it to my room and talk to her because I ordered sex toys? WTF IS THAT SHIT? I can barely get ahold of my mother let alone see her on top of that not enough sleep and I"m on my period and my ibs is terrible today. I know he went through the whole package. He even asked why I bought more rubbers because I "have them all over my room" which I don't Ya a coulpe were laying about. I'm pretty upset and feeling sick to my gut don't help either.
04/23/2011
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Contributor: kelaaa33wish kelaaa33wish
Wow thats terrible. I'm sorry you had a messed up day. I hope it gets better for you and that you feel better too.
04/23/2011
Contributor: M121212 M121212
Oh no!
04/23/2011
Contributor: MaryExy MaryExy
If you have a workplace or somewhere where you are unsupervised for a good bit of the day, you could start sending packages there? I used my sister's apartment a while back and I'm thinking I'll use the house I babysit for over summer (like if they're on vacation one week I can go over and take care of their cat, order stuff then). I know at the time being I'm having to get stuff shipped to the house and I hate it.

I'm soooooo sorry for you! I hope you can figure out how to avoid him opening another one. And I hope he doesn't keep bugging you about it. I know illogical some parents can be, particularly when you're doing something that they're uncomfortable with. Hopefully he'll calm down and realize that you're an adult and you need your privacy!
04/23/2011
Contributor: chidoll chidoll
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
I told him meat was coming and yesterday I told him and showed it to him and for some reason he thought it was meat again? WTF anyway he opened my package and I got holy hell! He threatened to kick me out on the street even. He even said next time ... more
You're an adult. Your name is on the packages. This means that it's a felony to tamper with your mail or keep it from you. Ask him if he knows that opening mail with your name on it is a federal offense. It doesn't matter if you're living in his house - it's still illegal. You could actually file a complaint, if you wanted, and he could be fined. With repeated offenses, mail tampering can be punished with jail time (though it isn't usually).

See if a friend nearby will let you have your orders sent to their address, perhaps?
04/23/2011
Contributor: toxie m toxie m
Sorry to hear this! That totally sucks. If you have a good, trustworthy friend then perhaps you could have your packages shipped to their place? When my good friend wanted a Fleshlight but was afraid his mom would open his mail I offered to have it shipped to my place and just bring it to him when it arrived. It worked out just fine. I hope you can find a set-up that works for you and/or that this all blows over in a bit and you can go back to having the privacy you deserve.
04/23/2011
Contributor: liilii080 liilii080
Get a PO Box at the post office and have your mail sent there.
04/23/2011
Contributor: PiratePrincess PiratePrincess
I'm sorry that really sucks... That's what I've been afraid of when I move home this summer.
04/23/2011
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
Regardless, I believe he will be searching your room looking for toys so its too late. Hopefully he will cool down but I would plan on moving ASAP.
04/23/2011
Contributor: MaryExy MaryExy
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz2
Regardless, I believe he will be searching your room looking for toys so its too late. Hopefully he will cool down but I would plan on moving ASAP.
Oooooh, I'd invest in a locking toy box. One that's really heavy so he can't throw it out... Or put a lock on a suitcase you already have, maybe he wouldn't notice?

But yes, I agree with moving out ASAP. And you definitely can complain that it's a federal offense like chidoll said. The only problem there is he may get angrier at you trying to use the law against him.
04/23/2011
Contributor: Eden C. Eden C.
That sucks! You're an adult, and it's not like you're ordering drugs or weapons.

Maybe you could have it shipped to your boyfriend or a trusted friend who doesn't live with family members, or get a PO Box?

If it makes you feel any better, both my parents have found sex toys. Most of my family suffers from some kind of sleep disorder, so it's common for us to get up and switch beds during the night (3 beds, 4 people, but we often have to rotate to get a good night's sleep). I left a big vibrator in my bed when I was spending the night at my parents' (which I do frequently although I don't live there) and then the next night my Dad had trouble sleeping and went to sleep in my bed, which was empty, except for...MY VIBRATOR! He just casually said the next time I saw him, "There's a vibrator in the bed." I was so embarrassed! It must be traumatizing for a man to find his daughter's vibrator!

When I was a teenager, I bought a little S&M kit from Spencer's for my girlfriend, and my mom took it away saying "If you're bored of normal sex at 17 then you have problems." Who knows? She probably used it herself.

Anyway, I'm sorry your family is being uncool about it. I know how hard it is to keep your privacy when you live with your parents, especially as an adult. I hope your tummy feels better. Take it easy!
04/23/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Why don't you do what you had originally intended and move out. Then he can't throw you out and you don't have to worry about it anymore.

If you're an adult, it shouldn't matter.
04/23/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by chidoll
You're an adult. Your name is on the packages. This means that it's a felony to tamper with your mail or keep it from you. Ask him if he knows that opening mail with your name on it is a federal offense. It doesn't matter if you're ... more
well if I filed a complaint well he would throw me out on the street I don't want to be homeless. I told him w hen his mail came in I would open it and throw it in the trash he told me he would throw me out onto the street to live..I would actually do that to his mail but you get the point.
04/23/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by toxie m
Sorry to hear this! That totally sucks. If you have a good, trustworthy friend then perhaps you could have your packages shipped to their place? When my good friend wanted a Fleshlight but was afraid his mom would open his mail I offered to have it ... more
yea I can send it somewher then sneak it in the house through a purse then lock it up...Its horrible I feel so violated!!
04/23/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz2
Regardless, I believe he will be searching your room looking for toys so its too late. Hopefully he will cool down but I would plan on moving ASAP.
you can't move in this town its gotten so full with the oil field and prices are outrageous my boyfriend and I an't afford it..even people with money have a hard time finding a home its so packed here now. my boyfriend live 1 hour out of town I can't live there. he dosnt' have a bedroom the room he is in has no doors. Imagine no sex toys no sex living with 5 people 1 toilet,severe urgent ibs..I can't do it I'm sorry.
04/23/2011
Contributor: amandaco2011 amandaco2011
I'm sorry that sucks. I'm glad that I have a good enough relationship with my mother that she wouldn't go through my packages.
04/23/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by MaryExy
Oooooh, I'd invest in a locking toy box. One that's really heavy so he can't throw it out... Or put a lock on a suitcase you already have, maybe he wouldn't notice?



But yes, I agree with moving out ASAP. And you ... more
Actually I have the devine chest the pink and black one. I just haven't gotten around to putting things in it..I had a couple glass toys I need to wash in a drawer..on my next day off I will probly wash them and put them all in there.
04/23/2011
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
Post Office Box and or move into your own place. At 23 you are an adult, join the military if you cannot get any other work.
I'm telling my own son that the Navy would be the best thing for him.
04/23/2011
Contributor: alliegator alliegator
Do you have a car? Maybe you could store your stuff in the trunk in case he goes through your room.
04/23/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by RonLee
Post Office Box and or move into your own place. At 23 you are an adult, join the military if you cannot get any other work.

I'm telling my own son that the Navy would be the best thing for him.
I have a job and would not join the military unless I was forced shomehow. I am not that kind of person to take that job. I do not believe in killing someone
04/23/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
I have a job and would not join the military unless I was forced shomehow. I am not that kind of person to take that job. I do not believe in killing someone
I realize we're in a time of war, but do you even have any idea what the military is about?

I come from a LONG LINE of military family members. I don't know that anyone in my family has ever actually shot anyone; and they were in the service during both war and peace times. There's MUCH MUCH more to the military than that.

I personally chose not to go to the military for other reasons, but I do think it is an honorable and respectable decision to make.

My mother joined the Army because she didn't want to live at home and couldn't afford to go to college. Right as soon as she got her citizenship. She never killed anyone; but she did learn to go through life taking responsibility for her own actions, never making excuses for not doing something, and working hard to earn what she had.
04/23/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
I realize we're in a time of war, but do you even have any idea what the military is about?



I come from a LONG LINE of military family members. I don't know that anyone in my family has ever actually shot anyone; and they ... more
yea well I run to the toilet many times a day. Sometimes not even making it to the toilet in time. I wish to stay at home taking this shakeology and other very healthy eating I have started. I have noticed some positive changes and once I get better I will still continue this way of life of this diet and even though my dad really dislikes the fact I have sex toys and spent money on them which really bothered him...Well I'm staying here and will be alot more sneaky and secretive about online shopping. The only reason I even buy them is because of gift cards and coupons so then I end up saving a lot..I mean whats a few EF items every year? I don't even have a collection of 10 things..Well if I included some books and a couple lubes and everything I have bought over time its like 20 things actually. I have about 4 glass toys of which were the less expenisve ones off eden like the most expensive was like $30 something and I used gift cards and coupons on my orders. Like probly 10 vibrating things all together if I counded a few tiny bullets,vibrators,and a egg type. Which happened over about 2 or a little more years. I think it would be fun to really sit down and think about how many items I have owned in my life..a ton less than most people on this site. I wouldn't count condoms but would give an estimate of how many brands I tried.







Looks like 40 items since 2009. anything from really small items to some books,2 storage items,condoms,a few vibraint rings,a couple eggs,and vibrators.Which most of it has been trashed.
04/23/2011
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by kinky girlfriend
I have a job and would not join the military unless I was forced shomehow. I am not that kind of person to take that job. I do not believe in killing someone
I'm an Army veteran, that's why I'm recommending the Navy to my son.

There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying "Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?"
A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.
We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?
America's Navy - A Global Force For Good!
04/23/2011
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
I realize we're in a time of war, but do you even have any idea what the military is about?



I come from a LONG LINE of military family members. I don't know that anyone in my family has ever actually shot anyone; and they ... more
Tell your mother that I said Thank You for her service to our country. As well as congratulations on earning her US Citizenship.
04/23/2011
Contributor: tigerkate tigerkate
Okay, outside of the military argument that's brewing...



1) Get a POB, unless you are close enough to someone to have them receive your packages. Personally, I haven't been comfortable having anyone receive sex-toy packages for me.. So a p.o. box is my suggestion.



2) I assume you have a job? Are you in school? Just curious. If you can't afford to move out, start exploring options. If you aren't in school, maybe pick up a trade. Or look into one If you have a job, are you planned for a raise anytime soon? Do other companies (or stores, facilities, etc) pay higher rates?

If you have a job, but aren't committed to it (like sales person or something), maybe you should consider canvasing through a company like Grassroots Campaigns or Public Outreach. They pay well, it's difficult work but if you're good at talking with people, then it's very flexible and doable. At least, with Grassroots Campaigns, there is limited supervision & if you're running to the bathroom every few minutes... no one really cares as long as you are fundraising.



3) Don't try to fight any more with your father. He's a dick, obviously, and he seems to think he is right no matter what because he financially puts you up. Okay, to some extent, he is right.. If you do anything he doesn't like, GRR he can throw you out.

So, when I was in this situation, I just lied low. Saved funds. Figured things out. I bit my tongue a lot. But if shelter is most important to you, then you need to stay here for now. Might as well try to make it easier on yourself by staying under his radar.











As for the military argument... I have many military family members, and I know a lot of people who have chosen that lifestyle as well. There's nothing wrong with it. But to assume that someone you don't know wants to and can just join the military, no problem, is a bit silly. People have disabilities, issues, beliefs that sometimes don't line up with military lifestyle.

And it's not that easy. A couple months ago, didn't anyone read that the gov't has put even MORE hiring/recruiting freezes on the military?

My boyfriend has been trying to get in for two years now without any luck, because of a tattoo that is visible in PT gear. (ok, given, he is going for the marines... for the officer program.. but still, the inspector general could not get him in with personal recommendations.)



The smallest things can disqualify you from being able to join the services.



It's not a cure-all answer.
04/23/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by tigerkate
Okay, outside of the military argument that's brewing...







1) Get a POB, unless you are close enough to someone to have them receive your packages. Personally, I haven't been comfortable having anyone receive ... more
I would definently do things to dissqualify myself!! more power to people who willingly go...
04/23/2011
Contributor: Eden C. Eden C.
What do you know? The same thing happened to me today.

I had brunch with my Dad today and he was really quiet. He just said, "A package came for you today." (I have packages shipped to my parents' house because stuff gets stolen from my apartment.) When I got there, my mom asked me if Dad had "confessed" about the package. I didn't know what she meant, and when I went to look at it, I found it was completely opened. My father had trouble getting the package out of our PO box, so he had ripped it open, thinking he could just take the contents home with him. Once he saw the Feeldoe slim inside, he immediately packed it back up and managed to free the box. He told my mom, who then told him all about my small and painful vagina. He said, "So...this is a medical expense?"

I don't mean to be insensitive by sharing this, I just thought it was a weird coincidence and I'm hoping to provide comic relief.

I do hope that your dad gets over it and you find a good living situation, in his house or elsewhere. Since you have a job, try shopping around the internet for apartments in your area; my roommates and I found a really good deal. See if you can crash at a friend's house for now.

I hope your tummy gets better! I know it's a really stressful time, but I have faith that your relationship with your father will survive this.

Take care!
04/23/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Eden C.
What do you know? The same thing happened to me today.



I had brunch with my Dad today and he was really quiet. He just said, "A package came for you today." (I have packages shipped to my parents' house because stuff ... more
I feel a bit silly posting this thread now. I mean I'm 23 and it's not hard to figure out how to solve this problem. I think I just satisfaction in ranting and raving. My dad is a great guy its just well sometimes he was an anger problem when he doesn't like something. We all have alot of things to deal in life maybe it caught him off guard and the way he went on about it wasn't right either... After a few hours he was nice as can be actually. I need to be more responsible in keeping my bedroom clean so he doesnt' find those things..I need to keep them all locked up as well from miss placing something and have my dad see,my sister's eyes,the cat dragging something out,and even just to be prepared for unexpected guests or events!
04/23/2011
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by tigerkate
Okay, outside of the military argument that's brewing...







1) Get a POB, unless you are close enough to someone to have them receive your packages. Personally, I haven't been comfortable having anyone receive ... more
True, there are many "innocent mistakes" that can keep someone from being able to join. That said far too many people reject military service out of ignorance of what it may be like now.
Being an adult sometimes requires that one makes choices that may seem unpalatable at the time. When I joined one of the major reasons was to be able to support my family. As well btw tigerkate, I joined as enlisted, I was too old for OCS and I'd already earned a masters degree.
04/23/2011
Contributor: loveshocks loveshocks
It's really unfortunate that your dad doesn't respect your privacy. But for now, to prevent him from actually throwing you out of the house until you can afford it (I'm assuming you're saving money/working/going to school/doing something to help yourself get out of this situation) why not just lay low for a while? It's not ideal, but it's better than him pawing through your mail and then just chucking it in the garbage before you can get to it. Calmly remind him that tampering with mail that is not addressed to him is a crime. But seriously, just lay low until it all just blows over. If you have that many issues getting your mail intact, just wait a nice long while until the next order and just make do with what you have.

I read one of your posts saying that it's an expensive area - then move to somewhere that's cheaper. Or get a PO Box. Just lay low and save, save, save for moving out/away.
04/23/2011