The New Intimacy

My last review ever. I'm staying active but won't be reviewing any more items.

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Contributor: Nissa Nissa Nissa Nissa
I'm still going to build up points and get something big every once in a while but I will not be writing any more reviews or be able to receive any more assignments.

Thinking my mom was more progressive and liberal than she really was I told her what I was doing and I got screamed at and a major guilt trip. Made me pretty upset to the point of tears because I felt like I was making a difference here. She says it's nasty and I shouldn't do it anymore because in the future it could cost me my career or a job.

I think that's complete bollocks because I haven't been very public with my identity and there is not real way to track it back other than what the company has on me.

I guess that's it.. until I move out I'll be quiet.

Was nice reviewing for you guys while I had the chance.
08/03/2011
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Contributor: Acorn Acorn
That's too bad.

Try not to let what she said bother you too much. I don't see how reviewing sex toys can cost you a career or job in any way. Some people just like to blow things out of proportion to fit their arguments.

Maybe you'll be able to move out soon. Until then, just remember that the EF community is here to help and support you.
08/03/2011
Contributor: CSEA CSEA
Quote:
Originally posted by Nissa Nissa
I'm still going to build up points and get something big every once in a while but I will not be writing any more reviews or be able to receive any more assignments.

Thinking my mom was more progressive and liberal than she really was I ... more
I totally understand where your coming from. Because of my career, mine flips if my bathing suit is a bit to small. Don't let this linger in your head. You are not a bad person and what you do in your privacy, is just that, in your privacy. Till then, yes (hate to admit it;need to deal with it myself) but you are under her roof. So yes, keep this in mind for when you live on your own but stay in the community as we do appreciate your presence
08/03/2011
Contributor: kjkitty kjkitty
I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you can come back to the community completely soon!
08/03/2011
Contributor: Nissa Nissa Nissa Nissa
Thanks all. I know I gotta get out of this situation and even have been talking with a friend about moving in together.. might not be ideal but I could always get a part-time job at the school to help pay rent. Heres hoping.
08/03/2011
Contributor: null null
I'm sorry hon, that really sucks. Maybe someday you can start again...
Best of luck!
08/03/2011
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Tell her to suck it. You're an adult and can make your own decisions. I would have your stuff shipped to a trusted friends and continue to review here even if it is for things like books instead of toys. You will be missed until then!
08/03/2011
Contributor: sexyintexas sexyintexas
Aww...hang in there. Just lay back a little until it passes. I hope that everything works out for you.
08/03/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
if she responded emotionally, maybe better to talk to her about it when she's not so upset. you're an adult. maybe let her read a review that's less risque and let her see it's not so bad.

otherwise, i say go with what lauren suggested and continue without her knowledge. you cannot let other people control you, nor become what they want you to be. and definitely move out. rent is SO worth independence. take it from someone with overprotective oppressive parents, who knows.

much love, chin up, and BUST OUTTA JAIL.

rebels of the world, unite!

08/03/2011
Contributor: brittany8612 brittany8612
Quote:
Originally posted by Nissa Nissa
I'm still going to build up points and get something big every once in a while but I will not be writing any more reviews or be able to receive any more assignments.

Thinking my mom was more progressive and liberal than she really was I ... more
that's really retarded
i would just ignore her if i were you
that almost makes me sad
i don't see at all how it could cost you a career or a job even if you were public w your identity
maybe she misunderstood and thinks you demonstrate how to use sex toys (like a porno) or something...idk i feel sorry for you
08/03/2011
Contributor: Nissa Nissa Nissa Nissa
Quote:
Originally posted by brittany8612
that's really retarded
i would just ignore her if i were you
that almost makes me sad
i don't see at all how it could cost you a career or a job even if you were public w your identity
maybe she misunderstood and thinks you ... more
I know I feel like I'm basically in a prison. I'm gonna try and do it without her knowledge. I dont have any trusted friends or friends at all to help me out with this.. so I'm on my own.
08/03/2011
Contributor: cherryredhead88 cherryredhead88
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
Tell her to suck it. You're an adult and can make your own decisions. I would have your stuff shipped to a trusted friends and continue to review here even if it is for things like books instead of toys. You will be missed until then!
HAH! I agree with this.

I understand you live with her, but she needs to be able to respect you as the adult that you are. Just like Jenny McCarthy said everybody poops, everybody masturbates too!

There's no way that they can't. It is a part of human nature and a bodily function (so to speak)

I am very disappointed in your mother and I hope she can come to her senses. That is not nice!

We will miss you and hope to see you stick around despite this issue

You have my full support.
08/03/2011
Contributor: wetone123 wetone123
Dealing with judgemental people is never easy to do...they seem to think they are always right; even when they are wrong. Hang in there. Hopefully, you will be able to resolve this dispute with your mother, after all you are an adult.
I know at some point in her life your mother has masturbated and even had sex! You being born is proof! We all have urges, so does she. Maybe she will change her mind about your reviews after thinking about it. I hope so.
Let things cool down before jumping the gun on this one. Peace be with you
08/03/2011
Contributor: Starkiller87 Starkiller87
You are in your mid 20's do NOT let her guilt you. You didn't hurt anyone, she needs to be mature and get over it. Never let anyone make you feel bad about yourself, especially when you have done nothing wrong. I hope things get better for you and you can fulfill your career goal of digitally sculpting dildos. Do what you are passionate about and ignore those who put you down.
08/03/2011
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Starkiller87
You are in your mid 20's do NOT let her guilt you. You didn't hurt anyone, she needs to be mature and get over it. Never let anyone make you feel bad about yourself, especially when you have done nothing wrong. I hope things get better for ... more
Agree.
08/04/2011
Contributor: GaelicInsanity GaelicInsanity
Quote:
Originally posted by Nissa Nissa
I'm still going to build up points and get something big every once in a while but I will not be writing any more reviews or be able to receive any more assignments.

Thinking my mom was more progressive and liberal than she really was I ... more
I completely understand you mom's point of view. I'm a teacher, and I'm pretty sure my kindergartner's parents would DIE if they realized I did this on the side. However, I don't think you (or me for that matter) are doing anything wrong! You're being private with your identity, and reviewing DOES help others. I've used reviews several times to choose an items that's right for me.

Anyway, everyone will understand doing what you need to do. Please don't think that this is wrong . . . sex is so natural in every way. I hate when people try to make you feel bad for being a sexual being.

Good luck!
08/04/2011
Contributor: Nissa Nissa Nissa Nissa
Quote:
Originally posted by GaelicInsanity
I completely understand you mom's point of view. I'm a teacher, and I'm pretty sure my kindergartner's parents would DIE if they realized I did this on the side. However, I don't think you (or me for that matter) are doing ... more
Thanks all
08/04/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
That totally sux!
Hopefully you'll be able to get your own place before too long and continue to do what you enjoy.
It's sad that so many people are still closed off to the idea of toys and such.
08/04/2011
Contributor: leatherlover leatherlover
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
Tell her to suck it. You're an adult and can make your own decisions. I would have your stuff shipped to a trusted friends and continue to review here even if it is for things like books instead of toys. You will be missed until then!
I like Laur3n's reaction. You are an adult, you should be able to make your own decisions. My wife and I have told things to my parents that they don't like to hear, but our response was we either tell you or we keep secrets from you, what would you prefer? We had a new car for 4 months before we told them, we have been racing cars for a while now, and my brother had a motorcycle and a totally different car for over a year before he told them. I think they finally understand.
08/04/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
While my first inclination would be to second the suggestions of continuing without telling her, if it would make you feel more guilty about "lying" to her, I'd just be active in the community and review again when you get a chance to move out. Having things shipped to somebody you trust and then picking them up is another good option as well.

Either way, I'm terribly sorry to hear that your mother reacted that way. Lots of hugs, and we'll still be here when you start reviewing again
08/04/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
oh no! but i second sam. i would keep it on the DL until you leave home. it's your life and though your mother may not approve, you should do what makes you happy. but i can understand how difficult that can be.
08/04/2011
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
Tell her to suck it. You're an adult and can make your own decisions. I would have your stuff shipped to a trusted friends and continue to review here even if it is for things like books instead of toys. You will be missed until then!
I kind of have to agree with this. If we want to grow in to healthy, happy, sexual beings, we need support, and we tend to look for it from those who are closest to us, which isn't always the best idea as you found out. But you are a woman. Better to have a few toys than to bring home random sex partners...

My parents, somewhat conservative and strict while we were being raised, knew that we masturbated. Although Mom was a bit repulsed when doing the laundry (2 brothers..imagine), she never told them to stop, but rather to do their own 'special' laundry.

Here's to hoping you stay in the community and finding a solution!
08/04/2011
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
While my first inclination would be to second the suggestions of continuing without telling her, if it would make you feel more guilty about "lying" to her, I'd just be active in the community and review again when you get a chance to ... more
That's a great idea...ship them to a friend ,or if you can afford to, get a PO Box or UPS one? Last thing you want is her looking at your mail anyhow.

Just remember you are doing NOTHING wrong. Seems she is making you feel like you are because she disapproves.

HUGS...
08/04/2011
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
I'm sorry it came down to that. Hopefully you can get out on your own and play with us some more.

And with privacy, you can only share what you want to. As long as you don't connect your EF account info to any RL info, you should be fine.
08/04/2011
Contributor: Nissa Nissa Nissa Nissa
Quote:
Originally posted by Ms. Spice
oh no! but i second sam. i would keep it on the DL until you leave home. it's your life and though your mother may not approve, you should do what makes you happy. but i can understand how difficult that can be.
Until I can review more I've thought about writing. I submitted an article for eden cafe about my body image struggle and I've got some short erotica ideas brewing.. might even write an article on living at home and staying active in EF after being told not to.

Turn lemons into lemonade kind of deal.
08/04/2011