My husband and I have three girls. No boys. We're finished having babies, yet people always ask us, "When are you going to try for a boy?" It pisses me off. I say, "This is my body. Not the Lottery!"
I love my girls. We don't have any boys. So? I'm finally getting my career reinvigorated, and my kids are getting older and I really don't want any more children. Also, my husband is in his 50s and he wants to see all his children into adult hood and feels he is too old for more kids. We have reasons for not having any more kids including 5 VERY high risk pregnancies, two pregnancy losses and also not be financially set up for more babies. Not to mention wanting to be done with my own babies and work on my older kids and on my career and my happily improving sex life.
I'm not going to go through a pregnancy I don't want just to "maybe get a boy." I'd love if I had had a boy, but I had all girls. I'm glad they are relatively healthy and safe.
As for people who push others who don't want kids with "When you hold that baby in your arms, you'll change your mind" I say, "Bullshit!" I'm a Maternal Infant Nurse. I work with post partum women and their babies. I SEE women who didn't want kids and bought the "when you hold that baby" bull and HAD the baby they didn't want... and "held that baby in their arms" and STILL didn't want or love the baby. Nothing is much more of a disaster than this scenario. I see it at least once a month and it breaks my heart. Most of the time the mother tells me, "I never even wanted kids. Everybody told me I'd fall in love with the baby as soon as I held it. I didn't." OR they don't say ANYTHING, and it's obvious they don't want the child. It's freakin' heartbreaking. Not to mention awfully damaging to that unwanted child. Imagine not being wanted by your mother? Sad as hell.
IMO, if you don't want kids don't have kids. It's simple. YOU know what you want. Don't believe the hype that you will "hold that baby in your arms and change your mind." It rarely happens.
As for people who have one child. So? If you only want one child, only have ONE child. It's fine. (I was an only child until my mom got remarried. I was an adult then. Nothing wrong with having one kid.)
People KNOW what they want and what they are capable of. People should trust them. Also, I hate being pressured to have "one more try" as if my family doesn't count because I haven't produced male spawn. Fuck that. I LOVE my girls. I'm happy to have them and they are all I'm going to have.
