pay for your own wedding dress?

pay for your own wedding dress?

GravyCakes GravyCakes
after watching say yes to the dress & seeing how some people allow their parents to pay for the dress, but then end up fighting b/c their parents won't buy the dress they like, i have decided that i am going to save up & buy my own dress. this way, i can take other people's opinions into consideration, but still ultimately get what i want. what do you think?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
i would buy my own dress w/ my own money
Ansley , AngelvMaynard , Waterfall , Dusk , Rossie , kjkitty , kokopelli , GravyCakes , slynch , bayosgirl , ms.anon , Coralbell , P'Gell , DeliciousSurprise , MeliPixie , Ghost , js250 , indiglo , Lucky21 , dv8 , ZenaidaMacroura , exploringthechimera , NuclearTeapot , Eucaly , emiliaa , BeautifulDarkness , Shellz31 , Crystal1 , MJ1337 , Starkiller87 , Jul!a , SiNn , Beck , idunshire , Ms. Spice , froggiemoma , ijako9 , tickle me pink , Miss B Haven , Jaimes , Badass , Stagger13
42  (78%)
i would get what they want, i mean, they are paying for the dress
i would see if we could go 50/50 on it
Valentinka , Ryuson , Tasty Latina
3  (6%)
other
Dawn (Lilac Distraction) , Miss Jane , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , IrishLassie , Ivy Wilde , Petite Valentine , married with children , darthkitt3n , Missmarc
9  (17%)
Total votes: 54
Poll is closed
08/05/2011
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Dawn (Lilac Distraction) Dawn (Lilac Distraction)
I'd make my own.
08/05/2011
AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
I bought my dress. My Mom paid for my wedding and reception.
08/05/2011
Waterfall Waterfall
I would buy my own dress, that way if I liked something that was more on the expensive side I wouldn't feel bad about making my parents pay for it. I doubt I will go for something very expensive though, I am easily satisfied with average priced things. Well except for my toys...
08/05/2011
Rossie Rossie
I bought my own dress, so I get to decide what I want.
08/05/2011
Miss Jane Miss Jane
My parents can't afford to help me much if at all, so I'll be buying my own dress and footing all my own bills. If they COULD afford to pay, I'd go 50/50 with them if I found something extravagant that I wanted.
08/05/2011
A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople)
I wouldn't like to get married in a dress... but I would pay for my outfit. If I ever marry, that is.
08/06/2011
Ryuson Ryuson
Going 50/50 sounds fine to me! We both get input!
08/06/2011
slynch slynch
my wife and I had a very small wedding (under 20 people invited).

we paid for everything except the dinner afterward, which our mothers split. (Both of our fathers have passed.)
08/06/2011
Ava5 Ava5
IF I was ever getting married, which I doubt will happen, I wouldn't:

A. buy an expensive outfit. I wouldn't spend more then $100 on clothes.

B. wouldn't expect anyone to financially help
08/06/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by GravyCakes
after watching say yes to the dress & seeing how some people allow their parents to pay for the dress, but then end up fighting b/c their parents won't buy the dress they like, i have decided that i am going to save up & buy my own dress. ...
Seeing as marriage is a rite of adulthood, I think one should behave like an adult. Adults pay their own way. A wedding is ONE day our of (hopefully) a lifetime marriage.

I paid for my own dress and for the church. My father gently offered to pay for the reception, and, low on money because we had just purchased a house, we said yes and thanked him. My mom helped with the invitations, but I did most of it. My Man paid for the tuxedos, which his own father refused to wear. His parents paid for nothing Cheap bastards, his parents are. (In our area of the country, the groom's parents traditionally pay for the open bar. My father paid for it without a word.)

It amazes me what the girls (and I mean girls) on this show pay for a dress for ONE day. The wedding is over before you know it, and you wasted 3 or 4 mortgage payments on a dress? Then you have to get on with living with a $15,000 dress sitting in the closet while the bills pile up. I think it's ridiculous.

I paid a little over $100.00 for my wedding dress. I bought a bridesmaid dress, on sale, knowing I'd never wear it again. I have no illusions that my girls will want to wear it (it's pretty dated looking and altered to fit a short, 4 month pregnant woman) and at the time I didn't even know if I would have any girls.

I think a woman should pay for her own clothes once she is grown. That includes wedding dresses. It, if nothing else, will at least force her to be a bit frugal about something that, in the end, really is of no consequence.

Feeding your friends and family, and giving them a good party is important. Spending a massive amount of money on a bit of fabric that will be out of style and never used again is silly, IMO.
08/06/2011
MeliPixie MeliPixie
Not only do I think I'll be buying my own wedding dress, but I plan on designing it (already in the works!), buying the material, and making the whole thing! I also want to make the cake, but my family kinda vetoed making cakes for my own occasions when I was thirteen I mean, how is an OCD baker gonna get exactly what she wants, unless she makes it herself?!
08/06/2011
js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by GravyCakes
after watching say yes to the dress & seeing how some people allow their parents to pay for the dress, but then end up fighting b/c their parents won't buy the dress they like, i have decided that i am going to save up & buy my own dress. ...
I did buy my own dress. And it was exactly perfect!!!
08/06/2011
Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
Quote:
Originally posted by Dawn (Lilac Distraction)
I'd make my own.
I did make my own. And most of the rest of the wedding party's outfits -- with some help of course. But that's not practical for those who can't sew.

I would talk to my parents beforehand and ask if they wanted to help pay for the dress, but explain that you wanted to be the one to pick out the dress, not them. If the dress that you want costs more than they are willing or able to spend, you agree to cover the cost overage. If they absolutely hate the dress that you pick out, try to explain to them that's it's your wedding and that you would really appreciate it if they would support your choices.

If all else fails, then yes, you will need to pay for your own dress. So saving up your own money is a very good idea.

My parents were dead by the time I got married so it really wasn't an issue for me. I had to cover everything myself, which was one of the reasons that I sewed my own dress.
08/06/2011
IrishLassie IrishLassie
I am my parents only daughter and they paid for my wedding. I got the dress I wanted and my parents were very happy to pay for it. My mom teared up with every dress I tried on and almost bawled when I found "the one". Being the only girl, I kinda got spoiled for my wedding.

My mom got remarried when I was 6 and my parents have been saving for my wedding ever since. I remember when I finally found my dress, mom called my step-dad asking about how they were going to pay for it, since this was going to be our 1st large expense. And all my step-dad asked was, "is it the one she wants?" We both exstactically said yes. His response, "get it". I absolutely loved/love my wedding dress. It was beautiful and perfect. My mom even paid to have it preserved for me.

My wedding was perfect and I have my parents to thank. My mom was amazing. She LOVES to organize and took on organzing my wedding with pleasure and made my wedding so relaxed and stress free. My grandma basically chose everything for my mom for her 1st wedding and my mom didnt want me to go through that. So even though my parents paid for the wedding, I chose everything and made all the decisions for what I wanted. The only things they didnt pay for was dresses and tuxes for the bridal party. My girls paid for the dresses I picked out. And my husband paid for the tuxes as a wedding gift for the groomsmen. My mother-in-law wanted to pay for the rehearsal dinner.

We even did the dollar dance for the reception and one thing my step-dad asked for was a dance with my husband, as a joke. We found out later that my parents put in $200 for my husband dancing with my step-dad. I thought it was incredibly sweet. My parents aare pretty darn awesome.
08/06/2011
indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Seeing as marriage is a rite of adulthood, I think one should behave like an adult. Adults pay their own way. A wedding is ONE day our of (hopefully) a lifetime marriage.

I paid for my own dress and for the church. My father gently offered to ...
This pretty much sums up exactly how I feel. Adults pay their own way, and a wedding and wedding dress should only be part of an adult's life. So I vote pay your own way.
08/06/2011
Lucky21 Lucky21
My fiancee is paying for her own dress. Neither of us have felt very incline to ask for cash from our parents, in pretty much the same light as P'Gel said above. We own our own house, we have a child and two dogs. We manage to go on nice vacations, I feel like this is something we can handle. As well as, I don't know if I would want my parents butting in as much as they would when it came to wedding planning. My mom would all ready be asking questions like "Do you really need that?" or "I just went out and bought this because I thought you might like it." I'd just rather us be in control and have a great time.
08/06/2011
Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Seeing as marriage is a rite of adulthood, I think one should behave like an adult. Adults pay their own way. A wedding is ONE day our of (hopefully) a lifetime marriage.

I paid for my own dress and for the church. My father gently offered to ...
I paid a little over $100.00 for my wedding dress.

And here I thought I was the frugal one for paying $220 with alterations.

My plan is to make the next dress for our vow renewal.
08/06/2011
Chilipepper Chilipepper
My mother made mine - I was a size 22 and the only wedding gowns that fit me in the late 90's/early 2000's were boxy-looking things with long sleeves and high necks. And I wanted something Medieval-looking, so I got the pattern and material, and then my mother took over making it, the groom's shirt, and the matron-of-honor gown, too. She worked right up to the wedding.

I still have the gown in storage. With the marriage over, I'm thinking of taking ALL that material (I think about ten yards went into that thing) and make a nice cocktail dress or two out of it.

If I should get married again, I'm going to make my own gown, and it'll be a much simpler design than the first.
08/06/2011
NuclearTeapot NuclearTeapot
I paid about $150 for my dress from and esty.com seller. Best thing I did.

My husband and I both loathed the thought of a big fancy wedding for two reasons. One, being two recent college grads we were both very broke, and many weddings are so fancy many people, especially children, really can't enjoy themselves. So we decided to have a day that focused more on celebrating love and family and not necessarily big expensive dresses and fancy decorations.

We had the wedding in the park and had catering grill out burgers, brats and other delicious foods. For dancing, we purchased tickets for everyone to go to a local Jamaican music festival that was happening the same weekend. Everyone wore casual clothes, kids ran around during the ceremony, it was great. We were able to pay for everything comfortably and not go into any kind of debt over our big day.

If someone wants to have a big fancy wedding and can afford it, I think that is great, but if it means going into debt, I feel that is an awful way to start a marriage.
08/06/2011
Eucaly Eucaly
If you're at all apprehensive about parental involvement in weddings, then it's best to limit it.
08/06/2011
emiliaa emiliaa
I think NuclearTeapot has it right. If you can't afford it go for smaller, because any day can be made special if you have the love of your life with you, right? ^_^and money is important to save, especially if you're risking debt at the very beginning of a marriage. *nods* And paying for your own is best, good choice I think. That way you don't need to make your day suited to your parents' desires.
08/06/2011
darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
My mom wants to buy my dress, though she says I can get whatever one I like. I would probably set a pretty low budget for the price of the dress. I know she wants to get me a dress I like because her mother bought her wedding dress and picked it for her.
08/07/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Petite Valentine
I paid a little over $100.00 for my wedding dress.

And here I thought I was the frugal one for paying $220 with alterations.

My plan is to make the next dress for our vow renewal.
PT, my guess is my wedding was longer ago than yours. I think when I bought my dress, the alterations were included with the price of the dress. (That's how long ago it was.) My head piece was nothing but a circle of silk flowers and a single layer of tulle. I think it cost about $20.00. They people at the bridal salon kept trying to show me more expensive stuff, but I not only knew we had house payments to make and a baby on the way, but I like things simple. I'm short and short waisted, I didn't want beads and lace and a huge puffy head piece (they were all the rage when I got married.)

For my single maid of honor (no bridesmaids, I hate playing favorites, so I just had one maid of honor) she went with me to look at dresses and I just said, "You're going to be the one wearing the dress. Buy whatever you can afford in any color you like. It makes no difference to me." She picked out a dress (it took her longer than it took me to pick out my wedding dress.) She looked beautiful. We made no attempt to "match" the mens' tuxedos to her dress. Why bother? Do men ever WANT to wear dusky rose cummerbunds? She simply bought a dress she could afford in a color she looked nice in. I had NO part of the decision to dress an other adult. It worked well with no hurt feelings and nobody paying for anything they couldn't afford.

I wish I could sew. My best friend made her own dress and she looked lovely, got exactly what she liked and spent very little for something she'd never wear again. If you or a friend or relative can sew, I think its a great idea to sew the dress.
08/07/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by NuclearTeapot
I paid about $150 for my dress from and esty.com seller. Best thing I did.

My husband and I both loathed the thought of a big fancy wedding for two reasons. One, being two recent college grads we were both very broke, and many weddings are ...
It sounds like you had a really beautiful wedding. I agree that starting a marriage in debt because of ONE day is a bit sad. When I think of what some of my friends paid for dresses, weddings, paying "planners," thousands of dollars for flowers, tens of thousands for the "best" hotel to have the reception and then instead of buying a house (like we did) they have to live in his old bachelor pad, (for one of my old friends, with the old room mate living there to help with rent) it makes me sad that TV has made us think that ONE DAY is more important than the rest of your lives together.

At our wedding, between the marriage and the dinner reception, My Man and I and a bunch of friends had lunch at White Castle, in our dressy clothes. "Honey, why is everyone staring at us?"

OK, off soap box now.
08/07/2011
MJ1337 MJ1337
IF money was an issue, I'd rather buy my own. That way I can get what I want, pay whatever amount it is, without regret or concern
08/08/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
It sounds like you had a really beautiful wedding. I agree that starting a marriage in debt because of ONE day is a bit sad. When I think of what some of my friends paid for dresses, weddings, paying "planners," thousands of dollars for ...
Ha, after our reception we all went to Denny's in our fancy clothes. I have a few pictures of me in my wedding dress there. It was a blast
08/08/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
And I paid for mine. It wasn't the cheapest thing ever, but it was something that I could afford on my own and I bought it because I knew that's what I wanted to do. It's been altered to fit me when I was a bit skinnier, but if I have skinny daughters, they're welcome to wear it. It's a simple design, strapless with beaded lace and not really indicative of any fads from when I got married.
08/08/2011
SiNn SiNn
Quote:
Originally posted by GravyCakes
after watching say yes to the dress & seeing how some people allow their parents to pay for the dress, but then end up fighting b/c their parents won't buy the dress they like, i have decided that i am going to save up & buy my own dress. ...
I would buy my own but for me my fiancee actually helped design it with a friend of his
08/08/2011
Beck Beck
I sent not even 17 bucks on my own, I did this because we could not afford to get a fancy one. We spent $65 on getting married. We eloped, My dress wasn't even white; which I did not want anyhow. target_com_primary_col or-bin%3ABlack&sea rchB inNameList=style_name% 2Csleeve_type%2Ccollar _style-bin%2Clifestyle -bin%2Ctarget_com_size -bin%2Ctarget_com_prim ary_color-bin%2Cprice% 2Ctarget_com_brand-bin &searchRank=salesr ank& frombrowse=1] this was pretty much my dress just in dark brown. Mine was cheaper to. we went to a bar after had a drink, had reception month later at my parents house.
08/08/2011
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