The New Intimacy

So you found him/her...now what?

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Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
As much as Miss Cinnamon doesn't care much for it, I have ex's. They happen. I just had one pop up tonight as a friend of a friend thing (so and so is now friends with so and so).

What would/do you do in those situations?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
ignore it. who cares?
Sammi , Naughty Student , VieuxCarre , ~LaUr3n~ , Jenn (aka kissmykitty) , mikebooks , Redboxbaby , SexyTabby , 1Hotmamajess , SF , chicmichiw , LexiKitten , souviet , Stinkytofu10 , SMichelle , Isola , Living Doll , Amber Sweet
18  (33%)
take a quick peek to see if your Voodoo curse worked?
El-Jaro , Miss Cinnamon , Victoria , TacoODoom , Gardenvy , ToyTimeTim , Airen Wolf , dv8 , Cream in the Cupcake , potstickers , WhoopieDoo , GONE! , KyotoAngel
13  (24%)
check them out and see where they are nowadays?
sophie2229 , MuffysPinguLove , pornshopgirl , LikeSunshineDust , removedacnt , Elodie , buzz , VenusianThunder , bayosgirl , Real or memorex , Girly Juice
11  (20%)
let the stalking begin!!!
Ajax
1  (2%)
Other(s)?
EffinSara , Jul!a , Sir , Darling Dove , TitsMcScandal , GNGenie , Luscious Lily , Missmarc , Falsepast , misterazor , solitudinarian , novanilla
12  (22%)
Total votes: 55
Poll is closed
04/13/2010
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Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
and yes, it did
04/13/2010
Contributor: EffinSara EffinSara
My exes all fall into one of three categories:
1. Still good friends
2. Still in my social circle but not friends
3. From so long ago I have no leftover feelings, good or bad

Category 2 I avoid as best I can, so I'm not really interested in checking them out. Category 3 I might be curious about in the same way I'd be curious about anyone I haven't had contact with in years. Category 1 is filled with people I do regularly keep in touch with, so I already have a good feel for what's going on in their lives.
04/13/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
It really ends up depending on who exactly it is. I'm still friends with one of my exes, about to marry my first, and have just recently unblocked my last on facebook. I did do a bit of stalking to see what I could see. Nothing of any real use, lol
04/13/2010
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
My exes are from so long ago, it really wouldn't matter. I don't know if either of us would really remember each other
04/13/2010
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
I have two - an ex boyfriend who finally grew up and stopped coming into my life whenever he got stressed (the last time was when his wife was having their baby), and my soon-to-be ex-husband who lives in another state and will finally no longer have any sort of communication at all when we divorce and divide our stuff.

That's IT. Two. I suppose I'm lucky, but my lovelife is just BARREN.
04/13/2010
Contributor: Sir Sir
Depends on the ex.
04/13/2010
Contributor: Darling Dove Darling Dove
It depends on the ex. I'm good friends with some and others I hate. I'd probably kick one in the nuts and punch his girl in the tits if I ever met them for real. Good thing they live nowhere nearby- but they BOTH were sexually abusive and used me till they couldn't squeeze another drop outta me.
04/13/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
I don't give a shit about my exes, there is a reason they didn't get to stay lucky and make it to my future. They all ended up with laughable partners after me which makes it so much easier to not care.

The ones I was friends with still never lasted more than a year. The new girl always got too jealous and made them break it off...or we still talk in secret.
04/14/2010
Contributor: TitsMcScandal TitsMcScandal
It depends [just like many others have said].

If it was His exes? The last one? I'd probably be overly affectionate and territorial. She still doesn't get the fact sometimes that they are over. It's like, "Hello! I'm living with him! He's fucking collared me! GO AWAY!"

Any of his other exes? I'd probably be really friendly too and chat up. I'd ask them a bunch of questions about Him in His younger day.

My exes? Actual boyfriends? I'm friends with, so he'd deal and probably wouldn't care. Ex-Friends with benefits, all of whom I'm still friends with? One of them he'd probably get a little 'eh' over, but the others he probably wouldn't care about.
04/14/2010
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Exes are exes for a reason. In my case, most of my exes and I are no longer on speaking terms. There are very few that I am still in contact with on the regular basis. The ones that I care no longer for I delete on everything. If they happen to pop up on Fetlife or Facebook or something, so what? Good for them that they're moving on with their lives. I don't want to be a part of it anymore, so why bother?

That's just my outlook on it. It's what keeps me sane most of the time.
04/14/2010
Contributor: Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
I don't have any exes, which is probably why I poof up (to put it in kitty terms) whenever Mr. Sauce talks about his. Knowing my personality, though, I'd probably be one big sack of dejected and unwelcoming for the next year or so, and then I'd get over it in another two or three years, and then finally after five years we'd be able to speak normally to each other again. If I even see them after five years, I mean.

Of course, this is all hypothetical and I don't plan on it being otherwise.
04/14/2010
Contributor: pornshopgirl pornshopgirl
I'll check and see what they're up to. There aren't any feelings left or anything like that, I'm just nosy as all hell
04/14/2010
Contributor: GNGenie GNGenie
My husband's exes are...well, older and fatter than I, so I tend to get a little smirk-y. "Ha. I'm 10-20 years younger than you, half your width, and sooo much better educated." Not to say that there isn't something else there (there had to be, right?) but I figure I've at least got my superficial bases covered.

My exes tend to put Husband's hackles up big time: younger and for the most part more in shape. I'm mostly friendly with all of them, and they're the type of guys that understand the "Flirt for Fun" principle, so I like to let a little loose with them (also make them regret not being with me a bit) I really ought to stop.
04/14/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by GNGenie
My husband's exes are...well, older and fatter than I, so I tend to get a little smirk-y. "Ha. I'm 10-20 years younger than you, half your width, and sooo much better educated." Not to say that there isn't something else ... more
Yeah, older guys are a LOT more protective and insecure with their younger partners, on the whole.

I know that would bug the hell out of me.
04/14/2010
Contributor: GNGenie GNGenie
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
Yeah, older guys are a LOT more protective and insecure with their younger partners, on the whole.

I know that would bug the hell out of me.
They are. It's a good and a bad thing: good in that they tend to be more attentive, bad in that it tends towards clingy. Not that there's any excuse for knowingly rubbing your partner the wrong way.
04/14/2010
Contributor: Jenn (aka kissmykitty) Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
(EdenFantasys)
I have one ex, and for the most part things ended on good terms. Well, at the time they weren't good, but looking back on it, what could I have expected? He was clingy and needy, and also five years older than me but excessively immature, and I was the one to break up with him. He found me on MySpace two years ago and friended me, and we've talked a few times, but that's it.

Fortunately for me, my husband doesn't have any exes... I was his first for everything. But if he did, I'd probably play the jealous hypocrite and pitch a bitch fit if he started chatting with them.
04/18/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Cinnamon
I don't have any exes, which is probably why I poof up (to put it in kitty terms) whenever Mr. Sauce talks about his. Knowing my personality, though, I'd probably be one big sack of dejected and unwelcoming for the next year or so, and then ... more
I know the feeling, though in my case most of Sigel's "ex's" are people he cheated on me with. >.< So yes I poof up and yes I hiss and show teeth but I figure I have a reason to. These women hurt me when they knowingly slept with my husband and I see no need to be nice to them...or to him either. He is culpable in this whole mess as much as they are.
I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that that part of my life is over and someday I might...MIGHT be able to meet an "ex" of his and not go all scary cat woman on him or her. I have warned him it would be suicidal to hold his breath waiting for that to happen...
04/22/2010
Contributor: buzz buzz
I haven't really dated that many people and generally once we are done, it was a good go but its over. In that situation I think I would assess their living status and then wonder what went wrong. Then remember the reason broke up and try to get away from them.
02/09/2011
Contributor: SexyTabby SexyTabby
I'd just ignore them probably (don't have a long list of em). There is one I'd avoid at all costs though. Hubby put him into ICU for a week a long time ago...he deserved it.
02/09/2011
Contributor: Ajax Ajax
I'm happy to say I have no bad feelings towards any of my ex's. With most of them I've developed wonderful friendships
02/09/2011
Contributor: chicmichiw chicmichiw
It's fine. It would be naive to think that if you find your partner attractive, other people don't -- or that they don't have a history. Just breathe! If you love and trust them, it will be fine.
02/25/2013
Contributor: bog bog
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
As much as Miss Cinnamon doesn't care much for it, I have ex's. They happen. I just had one pop up tonight as a friend of a friend thing (so and so is now friends with so and so).

What would/do you do in those situations?
Most of my exes are good friends. Nobody seems to mind!
02/25/2013
Contributor: Real or memorex Real or memorex
I am generally okay with running into exes.
02/25/2013
Contributor: Missmarc Missmarc
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
As much as Miss Cinnamon doesn't care much for it, I have ex's. They happen. I just had one pop up tonight as a friend of a friend thing (so and so is now friends with so and so).

What would/do you do in those situations?
It depends on which ex it was...
02/25/2013
Contributor: LexiKitten LexiKitten
Don't let 'em get to you!
02/25/2013
Contributor: Falsepast Falsepast
I dont really know
02/25/2013
Contributor: souviet souviet
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
As much as Miss Cinnamon doesn't care much for it, I have ex's. They happen. I just had one pop up tonight as a friend of a friend thing (so and so is now friends with so and so).

What would/do you do in those situations?
who cares?
02/25/2013
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
As much as Miss Cinnamon doesn't care much for it, I have ex's. They happen. I just had one pop up tonight as a friend of a friend thing (so and so is now friends with so and so).

What would/do you do in those situations?
ignore it. who cares?
02/25/2013
Contributor: Girly Juice Girly Juice
Depends on the ex. I'm still on speaking terms with some of them, but others I have distanced myself from, for good reasons.
02/26/2013