Tell on a cheater?

Contributor: DiamondKoala DiamondKoala
Really depends on my relationship with both parties. What kind of friends, how long we've known each other, whether or not I think it will do more damage in the long run between us, and other more personal details I guess.
02/29/2012
Contributor: cottonxcandy cottonxcandy
I think it depends on the situation for me. I would most likely always say something, but there could be an occasion when I wouldn't.
02/29/2012
Contributor: Mwar Mwar
I wouldn't directly come out and say it. But if the cheating person had a habit that gave them away, I would suggest my friend go to the same bistro or call their SO at a particular time. I'm meddling, but not directly, per se.
02/29/2012
Contributor: SaraU29 SaraU29
I would have said tell, until my little bro and his girlfriend. She cheated and he used the term, "Dammit! Blood's thicker than water!" She WAS my best friend till this all went down!!
02/29/2012
Contributor: Leather & Lace Leather & Lace
I'd tell them because I'd want to know as well if someone was doing that to me.
09/17/2012
Contributor: brevado brevado
Honestly, don't lie about it (such as covering for a person), but otherwise stay uninvolved.
09/17/2012
Contributor: ilikepies2 ilikepies2
I couldn't stay quiet about something like that.
09/17/2012
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
Tell the cheater to be honest and confess, tell the other person if they don't
09/17/2012
Contributor: Boyfriend Boyfriend
Do the right thing and tell them the truth
09/17/2012
Contributor: ksparkles16 ksparkles16
I think I'd just stay out of it....I'd hate to be the one to spill the beans!
09/18/2012
Contributor: Rey Rey
i'd be inclined to stay out of it
09/18/2012
Contributor: Supervixen Supervixen
It's not always a good idea to be the bearer of bad news in someone else's relationship. You may think that you are doing someone a favor by telling them, but sometimes, that only will make things worse, or destroy a relationship that could have been salvageable. I've been caught up in other friend's relationships before, and affairs are very complicated. You don't always know the nature of a person's relationship, why they are doing what they are doing, how it happened, and if you value your friendship with both parties involved, you are definitely going to be put in a position where you are expected to take sides. It's a delicate situation, and you need to consider the consequences of just blurting out what you know. And I guarantee you, that you don't know the whole story. Treat situations like this delicately.

It's better to pull the cheater aside and have a discussion with them, as a concerned friend, about what is going on. You can voice your discomfort with being an unwilling third party who knows too much, and you can encourage your friend to explore why he or she is cheating. Usually, affairs are symptoms of failing relationships and not the cause. I know that our culture is generally unforgiving and unsympathetic towards cheaters, but I don't think that's really the fairest or healthiest way to approach these situations. Cheating is not okay, and I don't take affairs lightly; they have played a major role in my life before, and I know how devastating they can be. I think that we are all human though, all capable of making mistakes, we all have needs and desires, and we have all, I'd be willing to bet, been in situations where we have felt misunderstood and the victims of other people's assumptions. I know I have, and I've been so grateful when I've found people who would listen to me with empathy. Don't assume that you understand the whole situation.
09/18/2012
Contributor: Abombadong Abombadong
I would stay out of it...Take it from someone who has been on both sides..Cheated on and cheated with NEVER cheated myself..The cheater will let the other person know eventually! Honestly its not anyones business but their own. If someone wants to a lying cheating scum bag let them, don't get involved. It will only make things bad for you!!
09/18/2012
Contributor: T&L T&L
I'm one of those who would try to talk to the cheater, probably would do no good but I would still try. Then I would let the chips fall where they may!
09/18/2012
Contributor: anonkitty anonkitty
I've been in this situation and I couldn't keep quiet about it. I ended up talking to both parties. I'm not sure if I did the right thing, but if it were me, I would want to know immediately, not when it falls out on its own.
09/18/2012
Contributor: damnbul12 damnbul12
Tell the other person
09/18/2012
Contributor: travelnurse travelnurse
Keep out of it. I have told someone that I was friends with for more than 12 years and she is no longer my friend because I was told that I was full of shit and trying to cause problems for them!!
09/18/2012
Contributor: heather-mooney heather-mooney
Quote:
Originally posted by Zombirella
What would you do if you are friends with two people who are in a relationship and you find out one of them is cheating? Should you tell on the cheater or stay out of it? You're supposed to be friends with BOTH so what do you do?
idk :o(
09/18/2012
Contributor: CaliGirl CaliGirl
Depends on how good of a friend they are. It's a tough situation.
09/18/2012
Contributor: Geography Geography
I said "stay out of it" but to be honest if my friend knew that my partner was cheating and didn't tell me I would be pretty angry. Especially if my partner was having unsafe sex and endangering me. And I would want to be told if I was in that situation.
02/08/2013
Contributor: Zandrock Zandrock
Tell them
02/08/2013
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by Zombirella
What would you do if you are friends with two people who are in a relationship and you find out one of them is cheating? Should you tell on the cheater or stay out of it? You're supposed to be friends with BOTH so what do you do?
I would stay out of it.
02/08/2013
Contributor: Bleu Bleu
It actually depends on the person. I'm not all up in their relationship and have NO IDEA what could be going on. I don't get into people's relationships like that and really try to stay out of it. If it's someone I know well and I know the relationship well, I might say something. I have had that backfire and people don't believe me and it's rather annoying when they come crying to me because they didn't listen.
02/08/2013
Contributor: Real or memorex Real or memorex
I generally try to stay out of these things unless it is a very good friend. But on the "friends with both" issue, I don't think someone out cheating on their partner has the right to expect their mutual friend to keep quiet. It's a terrible position to put someone in.
02/08/2013
Contributor: kkybf kkybf
stay out of it
02/08/2013
Contributor: Aishiteru Aishiteru
I'm not sure, since I've never been in such a situation.
02/09/2013
Contributor: Martiniman Martiniman
I hate to be picky, but it would depend on how good of friends I was with them and how long we had been friends. I'd tend to say stay out of it, but if I were long time and equally very good friends with both, I'd have to get involved. Why? I wouldn't want it on my conscience that the cheated upon friend got severely hurt when I could have prevented that. Yes, it could back fire, but at the same time, that friend would probably never forgive me for not telling what I knew while letting them get so hurt.

What I'd do... I'd tell the cheater what I knew and give them time to come clean on their own with their partner. Either stop cheating and repair the relationship or move on. If they refused or failed to follow through, then I'd tell the partner who was cheated on.
02/09/2013
Contributor: anon195 anon195
I would probably tell, but I've never been in this type of situation.
02/09/2013
Contributor: souviet souviet
Quote:
Originally posted by Zombirella
What would you do if you are friends with two people who are in a relationship and you find out one of them is cheating? Should you tell on the cheater or stay out of it? You're supposed to be friends with BOTH so what do you do?
stay the heeeeell out of it.
02/09/2013