The laws of laws - humor

The laws of laws - humor

Jul!a Jul!a
Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch & you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal & someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet & who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies & stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness & cost of the carpet or rug.

Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
07/08/2010
  • Sexy Treats For Her! Gorgeous Gift Set For $60
  • Spoil Him! Luxury Gift Set for Men For $60
  • The Complete Lovers Kit! Expert Couples Gift Set For $60
  • Backdoor Ecstasy! Opulent Anal Gift Set For $60
  • Lover's Touch! Deluxe Massage Gift Set For $60
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Gary Gary
It's all so true!
07/08/2010
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary
It's all so true!
I was waiting for you to drop in on it! lol

I laughed at every single one of those. Now I can close that tab in my browser. And maybe I should just post these as I get them. They're usually pretty amusing, lol
07/08/2010
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
So true.

One to add

Law of the waitperson, when your mouth is full they will come by and ask how every thing is.
07/08/2010
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
So true.

One to add

Law of the waitperson, when your mouth is full they will come by and ask how every thing is.
Oh please, add wherever possible, these are fun and I love when other people can join in. That's a good one too
07/08/2010
Blinker Blinker
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
So true.

One to add

Law of the waitperson, when your mouth is full they will come by and ask how every thing is.
Ooooh I hate servers (even though I know they just do their jobs)! I was a server at Applebee's and HATED asking people about their meal. Usually if my manager was watching I'd stay at the table for 5 seconds and mumble German and scoot off. I know how badly it annoys people because it annoys the hell out of me.
07/08/2010
fatesrelease fatesrelease
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
So true.

One to add

Law of the waitperson, when your mouth is full they will come by and ask how every thing is.
That is so so true. I always feel badly and cover my mouth and say thank you really quickly I get embarrassed about it but they must be used to it.
07/08/2010
Gary Gary
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I was waiting for you to drop in on it! lol

I laughed at every single one of those. Now I can close that tab in my browser. And maybe I should just post these as I get them. They're usually pretty amusing, lol
Yeah! Post Them!

The Variation Law - is the one I deal with the most when I am at a store. I get a lot of odd looks and criticism from anyone with me, because I refuse to switch checkout lanes.
07/09/2010
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Law of the Sofa - When you finally get comfortable, someone will inevitably ask you to get up and 'help' them.
07/09/2010
Annemarie Annemarie
Law of Pet Hair - if you don't want any hair on it, there will be hair on it. And gobs of it.
07/09/2010
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary
Yeah! Post Them!

The Variation Law - is the one I deal with the most when I am at a store. I get a lot of odd looks and criticism from anyone with me, because I refuse to switch checkout lanes.
If I find any really good ones in the archives (they go back a few years) I'll throw them up, otherwise I'll let you guys in on everything as I get them
07/09/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
The Law of Long Distance Relationships: If you haven't seen your partner in a long time, the next time you see them it'll either be yours or her's time of the month.

These are great!
07/09/2010
SexyySarah SexyySarah
LOL, so true!
07/09/2010
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Law of Repair - The broken piece is 29 cents and can be easily bought, but it'll take half a day to take the rest of the machine apart to replace the piece.

Law of Locating - Men will look where it's 'supposed to be', while women will look 'everywhere else'.

Law of Witnesses - Your vehicle will make strange noises or do something weird all the time while you're driving it, but will act perfectly normal around someone who works on them.

(Thanks to this morning's episode of the radio show 'Car Talk'.)

The Law of Lemmings - Everyone will go up to the register to be checked out at the same time.
07/10/2010
The Giveaway Diva The Giveaway Diva
These are all great! and I can see them happening! I will have to think of my own to add for later!
07/27/2010
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Law of Shaving Gel - The gel/foam will be near impossible to wash off your hands under running water, but a single waterdrop on your leg will take away all the foam.
07/27/2010
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Law of the cap. If you only have one hand to open something it will take two.
07/27/2010
Total posts: 17
Unique posters: 10