Kind of a mild rant here, so bear with me.
I've come across, from time to time, discussions about women who were first penetrated by toys. Invariably, there's usually a few voices in the crowd who believe such a thing to be wrong, a shame, sad, or just plain weird - the idea being that "the real thing" should be everyone's first experience.
My question: why?
Why is it such a big deal if a woman chooses to penetrate herself with a toy before having actual sex? Should a woman just continually deny herself while she waits for someone she's comfortable with, when all the while she could be seeking out pleasure on her own terms in a way that's pressure-free? (I know I personally would still be reluctant to even think about having actual sex if I hadn't found a few good dildos first - as it is, now I can't wait!)
The most common reason I hear is "she shouldn't lose her virginity to a toy." This seems kind of silly. Very rarely does anyone ever say that a girl isn't a virgin because she uses her fingers, so why would a toy be different? Is a man not a virgin if he uses his hand or a Fleshlight first? The hymen is often brought up, but if a woman can break it through riding a bike, stretching her legs too far, or using tampons, I don't think it should matter at all if a toy does the job. If you can be born without one, I don't see why it should even come up in these conversations.
Now don't misunderstand - I'm not trying to offend here. I don't put virginity on a pedestal, but I still realize that your first time with someone else should be a special experience. I just don't think, from any logical angle, that using a toy first will ruin that. If anything, previous exploration of what her body likes can make a woman's (or man's, for that matter) first time all the more pleasurable.
Thoughts? Comments? Also, I know this post is rather lady-centric, but feel free to post from a male angle if you'd like.
I've come across, from time to time, discussions about women who were first penetrated by toys. Invariably, there's usually a few voices in the crowd who believe such a thing to be wrong, a shame, sad, or just plain weird - the idea being that "the real thing" should be everyone's first experience.
My question: why?
Why is it such a big deal if a woman chooses to penetrate herself with a toy before having actual sex? Should a woman just continually deny herself while she waits for someone she's comfortable with, when all the while she could be seeking out pleasure on her own terms in a way that's pressure-free? (I know I personally would still be reluctant to even think about having actual sex if I hadn't found a few good dildos first - as it is, now I can't wait!)
The most common reason I hear is "she shouldn't lose her virginity to a toy." This seems kind of silly. Very rarely does anyone ever say that a girl isn't a virgin because she uses her fingers, so why would a toy be different? Is a man not a virgin if he uses his hand or a Fleshlight first? The hymen is often brought up, but if a woman can break it through riding a bike, stretching her legs too far, or using tampons, I don't think it should matter at all if a toy does the job. If you can be born without one, I don't see why it should even come up in these conversations.
Now don't misunderstand - I'm not trying to offend here. I don't put virginity on a pedestal, but I still realize that your first time with someone else should be a special experience. I just don't think, from any logical angle, that using a toy first will ruin that. If anything, previous exploration of what her body likes can make a woman's (or man's, for that matter) first time all the more pleasurable.
Thoughts? Comments? Also, I know this post is rather lady-centric, but feel free to post from a male angle if you'd like.
