The New Intimacy

Two year marriage, revolutionary or folly?

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Contributor: T&A1987 T&A1987
Basically, for those who haven't heard, there's a plan in mexico city to enact two year, renewable, marriages. His idea is that it allows an escape route for bad marriages. The counter argument in the article is that it ends in divorce anyway and just makes leaving easier. I've seen too many people get married too soon ("We've known each other a month and now we're getting teh marriedz yoo guyz!") so I think it's a good idea. They don't know each other well and just figure it's something they're suppose to do, like in the game of Life. Marriage doesn't just happen after you spin a certain number of times, it should be a reasoned decision after you believe you could live with the same person for the rest of your life. By putting it on a trial basis, it would introduce married life to couples and hopefully keep couples from setting into rut, as the couples basically have to convince the other to renew the marriage every few years. Plus it might curtail the wedding industrial complex, as who wants to spend 10K+ on a ceremony for a deal that only lasts two years?



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10/09/2011
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Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
I do think a lot of people get married too soon, but I don't know if this is the answer to that. I think it may increase the number of people getting married too soon because they'll just think "it's only two years anyway and we can look at it again after that."

I also think that for those who are dedicated to their marriage, that the lifetime commitment part can help through rough patches. For example, my husband and I went through a rough time right after our son was born. Say our two year contract had ended at that time - who's to say we wouldn't have taken the opportunity to throw our hands up and say screw it because it would have been so easy? Knowing that we had made a permanent and meaningful commitment to each other, we decided it was best that we work our way through the bad times we were having and make a stronger marriage.

I think that probably happens to a lot of couples. There's bad patches but you know you signed up for life so you work to make things better. If you didn't sign up for life, well then why work in a bad moment? There's the argument that you love the person, but if things are really bad that might not be enough for some people. I hate to see marriages that could work end unless there's something like violence or abuse going on - in which case even a two year marriage should be ended sooner rather than later.
10/09/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
i think it would be important to remember that most marriages don't break up because people get married too young; the average of marriage has gone up, not done. Instead, the leading cause of divorce is financial issues. I'm not sure how I feel about it, because it does go against the traditional stance on marriage. I probably wouldn't pursue it, but I know there are others that maybe have issues with long term marriage; this could be a test run for a lifelong marriage
10/09/2011
Contributor: The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary
Quote:
Originally posted by T&A1987
Basically, for those who haven't heard, there's a plan in mexico city to enact two year, renewable, marriages. His idea is that it allows an escape route for bad marriages. The counter argument in the article is that it ends in divorce ... more
Im thinking that people will get getting married left and right and not realizing 2 years is still a very long time.
10/09/2011
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
The purpose is not to help people figure out what they want, but to increase the amount of fees collected as people rush to get married/divorced. I personally don't care, either way.
10/10/2011
Contributor: poetprincess poetprincess
Quote:
Originally posted by T&A1987
Basically, for those who haven't heard, there's a plan in mexico city to enact two year, renewable, marriages. His idea is that it allows an escape route for bad marriages. The counter argument in the article is that it ends in divorce ... more
I agree to many people get married way to soon. What happened to the days when men courted woman for a year then asked for their hand in marriage and then they waited another year sometimes two. Things these days are so rushed I some times feel like im spinning. Something like this would be a great idea on the agreement of the couple and if there are no children involved..
10/10/2011
Contributor: kellyg kellyg
I think this agreement is ridiculous. Don't get married, the end. I personally don't think it could be taken seriously at all if there's a set end date in mind that you can take.
10/10/2011
Contributor: Errant Venture Errant Venture
I think that if you're that unsure about the relationship enough to want a two-year marriage, you probably shouldn't get married in the first place.
10/12/2011
Contributor: Breas Breas
Quote:
Originally posted by Errant Venture
I think that if you're that unsure about the relationship enough to want a two-year marriage, you probably shouldn't get married in the first place.
I agree with this.
10/12/2011
Contributor: KrazyKandy KrazyKandy
I feel its a great idea, too many people get divorced anyways.
10/12/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by T&A1987
Basically, for those who haven't heard, there's a plan in mexico city to enact two year, renewable, marriages. His idea is that it allows an escape route for bad marriages. The counter argument in the article is that it ends in divorce ... more
It's not a marriage. There is no more commitment then living together. Maybe LESS, even, since now you have a "built in" two year "escape hatch", where even those living together have to "wiggle out". I think to call it marriage is a joke. If folks got married when READY and had to go through a marriage counseling course BEFORE they could get their marriage license, then maybe THAT would improve outcomes and marriage success.
10/12/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Errant Venture
I think that if you're that unsure about the relationship enough to want a two-year marriage, you probably shouldn't get married in the first place.
Well said.
10/12/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
What if children result from these "unions?" "Oh, we only expected to be together 2 years, but we went and made an other human being anyway. At least we didn't get tattoos of each other names. That is too permanent."

People take commitment much too irresponsibly. If you are ready to be together forever, at least have the commitment. I don't like the idea of going into a marriage with an automatic expiration date. A lot of couples have a rough time during the third year of marriage, when the novelty wears off. This would only result in people postponing real joy, postponing perhaps meeting the "right" person and I can't imagine the nightmare of having kids in this type or relationship.

I would wonder if these should be required to be "child-free" marriages, but this IS Mexico City we're talking about, it's a Catholic country and the Pope doesn't even want people using rubbers.... Everything about this sounds like a disaster to me.

BTW, how does the Pope weigh in on this? I can't imagine any of the Clergy (who make up a large part of the power in Mexico) would be open to this idea.
10/12/2011
Contributor: Nora Nora
I have issues having to renew my license every few years (8 years in OR, yearly in WA...I want to live in AZ where it's every 80 years!), I don't want to have to renew yet another thing! The car's tags, plates, and licensing is more than plenty!
10/12/2011