Are you going to watch the presidental debates? how about the VP debate?

I know I should but I get so bored I end up falling asleep. Not to mention my husband and I will end up screwed no matter who wins. It's as if we have been approached by a waiter at a restaurant who's speal goes like this:

Thank you for coming to the Screwed Over. Is there anything I can get you over the next 4 years? We have oil polluted water, radioactive water, all cola products, unfair trade coffee, and you can choose between unsweetened and sweet tea. Our appetizers are higher taxes, higher national debt, unfair bailouts for big businesses, tax breaks for the wealthy, higher gas hikes, and I'm sorry but we are out of social security, medicare, medicaid and V.A. benenfits. We have two main courses to choose from which are Obamacare or Romshit. They come with two sides and your choice between a socialist government or a bowl of ultra conservative topped with a huge scoop of religion. Our dessert is bend over, grab your ankles, and prepare yourself to get screwed with a huge dildo that has been sprinkled with shards of glass, used kitty litter, sand, rock salt, splinters, thorns/ stickers, used rusty needled and rusty razorblades. I'm also sorry to say we are out of all lubes. I hope you enjoy your meal.