The New Intimacy

What is the worst sex toy experience you've had?

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Contributor: Jaybird Jaybird
Just curious and thought it would be fun to laugh at each other's misfortune for a bit. I'm new to the world of toys, so I don't personally have any bad experiences (yet).. so maybe I feel like listening to some fails to make myself feel less silly when I inevitably get caught in a hilariously awkward situation. Since I don't personally have a story, I can share one my friend told me:

My friend bought his girlfriend at the time the Trojan vibrating touch (I think it was called) finger massager a few years back. The first time he used it, the thing apparently fell apart in her. It wasn't like all the screws and tiny little pieces came out (thank god), but the piece that holds your finger onto the thing somehow separated from the rest of the vibrator mid-use. I think that was the first time he had used a toy actually. An interesting introduction to 'em, I'd think.


So, what're your worst experiences? Any stories you can look back at now and laugh at?
04/01/2013
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Contributor: jennifur77 jennifur77
I know some don't believe it can happen, but I seriously think I got a UTI from a toy I got to review a few weeks ago. It smelled horrible, and I didn't think to put a condom on it before using it. Ugh. What a pain. Literally.
04/01/2013
Contributor: KinkyKatieJames KinkyKatieJames
Had a cheap vibrator. It "pinched" my labia between the shaft and the dial. Soooo much blood. That thing is evil!
04/01/2013
Contributor: DawnStar DawnStar
Cheap jelly material on the vibrator started to break down like after 2 week I just bought it.
04/01/2013
Contributor: jr2012 jr2012
My biggest sad moment was bringing a "waterproof" toy into the tub with me...only to have it completely fill with water! It was clear so I could see it immediately. I tried to dry it out, but it never really worked reliably again, and eventually died.

Lesson: read the reviews
04/01/2013
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
The nasty burning sensation from a jelly toy gone bad.
04/02/2013
Contributor: Virgingasms Virgingasms
The SaSi was disappointing, but I don't really have any horror stories, thank goodness!
04/02/2013
Contributor: GONE! GONE!
The only horror stories I have are related to thinking I used enough lube and only realizing I didn't once I'm in pain.
04/02/2013
Contributor: butts butts
Inserting a jelly dildo (years ago before I knew jelly was crap) and experiencing a horrible burning sensation that lasted a good 10 minutes! Boy that thing was probably toxic as hell and it sure felt like it.
04/02/2013
Contributor: The Vixen The Vixen
I once had a rabbit that had rotating beads in the shaft. The beads and the rotating spindle that housed them was all made of plastic. It's turns out that if you squeezed your PC muscles too hard that it would break the plastic spindle that held the beads in place. Once one bead broke off inside the shaft, it would hit another bead and snap it off as well, then another, and another.. eventually the whole shaft was broken plastic.
My rabbit practically self-destructed in a matter of seconds.
04/03/2013
Contributor: solitudinarian solitudinarian
Before I knew better, I owned a pink jelly toy that picked up some discolouration. I had a riding crop break the first time I used it. Other than that, having to test weak vibrators is annoying
04/03/2013
Contributor: mdnght mdnght
My first vibrator had a ridge that stuck out and cut me when I forgot to be careful with it
04/03/2013
Contributor: TJtheMadHatter TJtheMadHatter
The worst has to be when I discovered I was allergic to jelly toys. It burns sooo bad. Well, I'm a bit of an idiot sometimes, and I think, well maybe it's just my vag that's sensitive to the material. So after a burning attempt in the puss, I stick it in my mouth. Dear....GOD....The burning! Oh, I felt like such a moron. lol I still do.
04/03/2013
Contributor: Hummingbird Hummingbird
The Vr12 - couldn't even warm up with it and now it sits in my drawer keeping my good Jopens company looking sad and neglected. My rechargeable Black Label Jack Rabbit way outperformed the Vr12 satisfying me the first time use. I think it was the rabbit ears, they're too stiff on the Jopen products for me, those that have ears, the Black Label has more flexible ears and don't overstimulate me.
04/03/2013