That's a toughie. I would be really upset too. But, I would have to consider a few things.
a) as tough as it was to say no to you about being a bridesmaid, it's even tougher to say no when someone asks you to be their maid of honor. To say no to being just a bridesmaid, her excuses are valid. But saying no to being maid of honor, those same excuses just aren't quite enough, because there is a different nature to the request.

b) No offense to your relationship with her, but they may be closer to one another than she is to you.

c) she may have had some inkling that she was going to be asked to be this other friend's maid of honor, in which case she would have known she wouldn't have had time or money to do both. Unfortunately, since you asked first, she didn't have the valid excuse of, "Well, I'm Suzie's maid of honor, and I just can't afford to do both." and had to come up with the handful of other reasons.

It does suck, and I would be upset and hurt. So it's no fun to have to think about while planning your wedding. I would say that an invite would be your best indication if she is a friend worth holding onto. If she declines to show, then obviously she doesn't care that much, and you were at least the bigger person to still want her to be a part of your day. If she does show, then at least it means that she cares about you and your big day, and just couldn't afford the time to participate with this other thing on her plate, and maybe didn't want to be unfair to you about not being able to attend all the functions because of the other wedding. Just food for thought.

Best of luck, and congratulations! less

I am completely unsure as to how I should react to this.

I asked a friend to be in my wedding party a few months ago. She said no, because she doesn't have the money for a dress and she is "busy." She knew she was busy without me even mentioning the date or anything to her. I just shrugged it off and decided I'd find someone else.

Now, a mutual friend is getting married. Her wedding is supposed to be 2 months after mine. She asked the friend if she'd be her maid of honor, and the friend said yes.

My initial reaction is that this is complete bullshit. She's my "friend" yet she makes a ton of excuses that she won't be in my wedding, then goes and agrees to do even MORE work in someone else's. I'm just thinking we're done being friends and I'm not going to talk to her anymore, let alone invite her to my wedding.

What would you do or what do you think? less