The New Intimacy

When giving someone you love a christmas gift becomes an issue...help plz

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Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
I love my mom. She does alot for me and deserves a nice gift. She is poor and I would love to give her season 1 and 2 of a series she wants to see. She gets upset I told her I already got her a gift (its a book to help quit smoking she wants to stop) she was pretty upset because she has no money to buy anyone a gift and just wishes for me to take care of myself...I wish the same thing of her..I really don't care about getting a gift back,it's very important to me I give her something nice because of how much I appreciate her. I am torn what to do.

maybe I should pick out a nice card I can write in and explain things to her. but still I think she will feel bad and trapped
09/28/2010
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Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Hm, how to tell someone to be gracious enough to accept a gift.

I talk my mother into accepting it. She feels guilt about getting anything (beaten into her by her mother that she didn't deserve anything), but I plainly tell her that she's been doing things for me, so I would like to do things for her ... "so please graciously accept it". Reminding her of her manners helps.
09/28/2010
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
I would get her what she wants. Just keep it to yourself until xmas and then if she says she cant accept tell her she can and you dont want anything in return because of all she has done for you.. like Chilipepper said, remind her of her manners
09/28/2010
Contributor: onehotmomma onehotmomma
my mom is the same way! I just tell her, you gave me life, and I don't need anything other than that! I agree with talking her into accepting it
09/28/2010
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by onehotmomma
my mom is the same way! I just tell her, you gave me life, and I don't need anything other than that! I agree with talking her into accepting it
it will be really hard she is really stuck on it. It's annoying hearing her go on and on about not wanting gifts she really hates she has no money to get anyone a gift. I already got her a how to quit smoking even though u don't want to book. I want to get her the nicoderm patches her smokers cough went on all night and kept me up I'm a real light sleeper and her room is next to mine...between that and the hard to sleep on bed,tossing and turning I'm becoming a zombie then ibs ravages what littl energy I have I drag myself through work shifts. I get real grumpy. I was thinking season 1 of a series she wanted to see,the book,and nicoderm patches all for her. How much are those patches do I just buy 1 box I know nothing about them...
09/29/2010
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
Hm, how to tell someone to be gracious enough to accept a gift.

I talk my mother into accepting it. She feels guilt about getting anything (beaten into her by her mother that she didn't deserve anything), but I plainly tell her that ... more
My grandma is the same way. She's quite prideful, but I always remind her of the countless times I messed up making pancakes with her in the morning, or how I used to cry a lot and make her late for work, or how I used to fall a lot (I even busted my front teeth twice) and caused her gray. I can usually add in "I'm so proud I thought of it myself!" and she usually decides to accept it. If all else fails... I pout and sit there and she finally takes it.

She spoiled me as a kid, LOL.
09/29/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
Well, depending on how adament she is about it you could always just be playful about it. My MIL hates when people buy her gifts, but she does appreciate them when they're given. So we will sometimes just say the Hannukah Fairy dropped them off at our house for her..so you could say Santa gave her it. Or, sometimes we'll buy her something and she'll say that she wants to pay us back for it and we just say that we got it for free so she doesn't know how much to give us. They're silly and she knows it's not true and we're not really trying to make her believe that it's true..it's just a way to get her to stop saying "you shouldn't have" because we just say "WE didn't!" and she gives up.

Or, if the season is something that you'd like too you could try saying you bought it so that you could watch it together. Then maybe she'll see it as a gift for the both of you. And the stop smoking stuf...well really that IS a gift for you too. It'll be a gift of a healthier mom who is around for longer...what a great gift for both of you!
09/29/2010
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
Well, depending on how adament she is about it you could always just be playful about it. My MIL hates when people buy her gifts, but she does appreciate them when they're given. So we will sometimes just say the Hannukah Fairy dropped them off ... more
hey I will try some of those things say It's from Santa. and put a card how the stop smoking is a gift for all of us,or even a gift to the world. maybe the dvd series don't wrap it but bring up its something for both of us to share..OH OH HOW ABOUT WII NETFLIX? Then you can watch it on there? btw I'm getting weeds not sure if u can watch it on wii netlfix or how it works though...
09/29/2010