The New Intimacy

When You Have Reached Your Breaking Point.....

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Contributor: js250 js250
With whatever issue in your life that you have become fed up with and reached the braking point....
--How did you react and what changed?
--When do YOU know you have reached that point?
--What usually triggers this type of deep cut off point?
--Have you ever changed you mind afterward? What happened?
06/03/2013
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Contributor: Mwar Mwar
I think many people realize when you stop reacting to the stimulus that caused you such emotional/mental anguish. There is a saying: "I fight with you to help you and to steer you away from bad things. The moment I stop is when I've given up."

And it's true. You can only try and help people so much. Eventually, I'm not going to be your voice of reason. I will only stand back. And watch.
06/04/2013
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Mwar
I think many people realize when you stop reacting to the stimulus that caused you such emotional/mental anguish. There is a saying: "I fight with you to help you and to steer you away from bad things. The moment I stop is when I've given ... more
We're so on the same page here. If I'm in your face and challenging you on what you may have done or said, then it means I still care and that I'll be there to fight for you; but the second I stop doing that? That means the "game" is over and I'll let you wallow in your self-inflicted misery.

What actually causes that to happen varies from person to person and situation to situation.

For instance, if you're someone who knows they need to break up with their significant other and all you do is whine about how awful the relationship is instead of asking for a solution to a very specific problem, then chances are my wick is going to be very short and I'll tell you that I still want to be friends but I don't want to hear about it anymore.

There's only so much I'm willing to put on my shoulders and my plate is full enough as it is....OH which reminds me, that's another breaking point. If all someone does is talk about themselves and never asks how I'm doing or if I need help...yeah that ends pretty quickly.

Both fortunately and unfortunately, I'm extremely forgiving because I know I have my own demons and have been a bad friend more than once in my life.

When it comes to obstacles in life, there are very few I waste my time banging my head over. Human nature being what it is and all, it's pretty easy to realize where energy is wasted.
06/04/2013
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
We're so on the same page here. If I'm in your face and challenging you on what you may have done or said, then it means I still care and that I'll be there to fight for you; but the second I stop doing that? That means the ... more
I have learned with long experience and painful knee bruising that sometimes the best answer is just to listen and offer soothing sounds rather than advice. Most of the time people really don't want or even need help just a listening ear. Assure them that they are quite capable of making the right decisions and that you will be there either way it goes and you've been a real friend....and it saves you from being responsible for the outcome.

My breaking point is when I have been kicked so many times that I can no longer even anticipate anything else. It takes a lot for me to walk away but when I do it's permanent. Only my parents have seen my face again after I walked away and that has been an unqualified disaster each time. I tell people when I no longer care, you are dead to me and I will mourn your passing and move on. But I will treat you as though you are an earth bound spirit if I see you because you are a part of my past I am no longer interested in. Again, though it takes a whole lot to get me to that point.
06/04/2013