What's the ugliest sex-toy you own? (Preferably with links or pictures!)

Contributor: Dame Demi Dame Demi
Sorry, it's from another website (but maybe not a bad thing considering how it looks!), but it's called the Intimate Kiss. It performs quite amazingly, but just looking at it always sends my husband and I into hysterical fits of laughter! link
01/12/2009
  • Save Extra 50% On Sexobot Attachment
  • Long-distance pleasure set for couples
  • Upgrade Your Hands-Free Play!
  • Anal Sub Hook&Rope Kit for $28.99 Only
  • Complete strap-on set for extra 15% off
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Contributor: Oggins Oggins
Quote:
Originally posted by Dame Demi
Sorry, it's from another website (but maybe not a bad thing considering how it looks!), but it's called the Intimate Kiss. It performs quite amazingly, but just looking at it always sends my husband and I into hysterical fits of laughter! ... more
Wow that is pretty funny! I don't own this one but, I find it kind of creepy. It looks like a severed finger...link
01/12/2009
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
The shocker
01/12/2009
Contributor: Beautiful Dreamer Beautiful Dreamer
link While it's not as good as severed body parts, It's still hideous.
01/12/2009
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
^I like how the dolphin works though .

Ok, I cannot figure out how to put the link in :-(.
link
01/12/2009
Contributor: Airlia Airlia
Quote:
Originally posted by Beautiful Dreamer
link While it's not as good as severed body parts, It's still hideous.
Oh I DEFINITELY agree with you there.
01/12/2009
Contributor: Goodkittygnbad Goodkittygnbad
Quote:
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
The shocker
That is absolutely WAY too creepy!
03/16/2009
Contributor: Yoda Yoda
The Mantoy is definitely my ugliest toy.
07/29/2009
Contributor: Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
Quote:
Originally posted by Yoda
The Mantoy is definitely my ugliest toy.
Really? I kind of like the way it looks...

This one's nowhere near as pretty in person. I promise. It's a brownish-mauve. And there are strange bubbles between jelly and bullet.
link
07/29/2009
Contributor: Valyn Valyn
Without knowing it's jelly, this one looks painful link
07/29/2009
Contributor: Sera Sera
WEll....my condom dildo. That's why i threw it away.
08/26/2010
Contributor: Kim! Kim!
Quote:
Originally posted by Sammi
^I like how the dolphin works though .

Ok, I cannot figure out how to put the link in :-(.
link
I see that one show up once in awhile and a part of me wants to buy it and a part of me recoils in horror at the hideousness of it.
10/22/2010
Contributor: Sera Sera
Quote:
Originally posted by Dame Demi
Sorry, it's from another website (but maybe not a bad thing considering how it looks!), but it's called the Intimate Kiss. It performs quite amazingly, but just looking at it always sends my husband and I into hysterical fits of laughter! ... more
.....Why'd you buy this? No offense, but it's hideous!

My ugliest sex toy, I think would be this.

link

Eden assigned it to me for a free assignment to review. I took the assignment, but I hate pink. I'd rather have the purple one. *Pouts*
10/26/2010
Contributor: Trashley Trashley
Quote:
Originally posted by Valyn
Without knowing it's jelly, this one looks painful link
OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK hahahahahaha i want that so bad! so sad its been discontinued... lololol i wanna fuck rock candy too!
10/26/2010
Contributor: Trashley Trashley
Quote:
Originally posted by Sera
.....Why'd you buy this? No offense, but it's hideous!

My ugliest sex toy, I think would be this.

link

Eden assigned it to me for a free assignment to review. I took the assignment, but I hate pink. I'd rather have ... more
It.. looks like a vagina? WHY GOD WHY I'm so sorry, I could spend all night in this thread, its so ricockulous. I'm legitimately in tears right now hahaha
10/26/2010
Contributor: Dame Demi Dame Demi
Quote:
Originally posted by Luscious Lily
Really? I kind of like the way it looks...

This one's nowhere near as pretty in person. I promise. It's a brownish-mauve. And there are strange bubbles between jelly and bullet.
link ... more
Hrm...I have one of those, and mine actually looks like the picture, or did, last time I saw it. I wonder if the Crystalessence material turns color with age...or if yours got 'polluted' somehow when they were casting it...mine doesn't have any bubbles either. Maybe the air got in and turned the material brown?
10/26/2010
Contributor: Dame Demi Dame Demi
Quote:
Originally posted by Sera
.....Why'd you buy this? No offense, but it's hideous!

My ugliest sex toy, I think would be this.

link

Eden assigned it to me for a free assignment to review. I took the assignment, but I hate pink. I'd rather have ... more
Haha...I deliberated over buying that thing for MONTHS. Finally, the staggering numbers of awesome reviews convinced me to give it a shot. It really IS hideous--maybe even worse in person, because it's bigger than you'd expect. It really IS amazing to use, though. In addition to the tongue wiggling, the nose actually vibrates to stimulate the clit! After trying it, I told my husband I was going to make him put vibrating bullets in his nostrils from then on.


Don't know if any of you are aware of this page/company. I stumbled upon it years ago, and thankfully, I don't remember exactly how. This definitely falls into the "disturbing" category for me:

link
10/26/2010
Contributor: Destri Destri
Got this years ago as something they assigned to me. It still looks like a toiler brush to me... link
10/26/2010
Contributor: Dame Demi Dame Demi
Quote:
Originally posted by Destri
Got this years ago as something they assigned to me. It still looks like a toiler brush to me... link
Ack, I have that. And 'toilet brush' is probably a better use for it...
10/26/2010
Contributor: Tart Tart
Quote:
Originally posted by Sera
.....Why'd you buy this? No offense, but it's hideous!

My ugliest sex toy, I think would be this.

link

Eden assigned it to me for a free assignment to review. I took the assignment, but I hate pink. I'd rather have ... more
Of course it's called "Discretion." It's discreet because no one will know what the hell it is! LOL
10/28/2010
Contributor: ToyGeek ToyGeek
I can't bring myself to own anything ugly. Else I'd own the Eroscillator by now.
10/28/2010
Contributor: Sera Sera
Quote:
Originally posted by Tart
Of course it's called "Discretion." It's discreet because no one will know what the hell it is! LOL
Good point there.
10/28/2010
Contributor: sasweetheart89 sasweetheart89
Quote:
Originally posted by Dame Demi
Sorry, it's from another website (but maybe not a bad thing considering how it looks!), but it's called the Intimate Kiss. It performs quite amazingly, but just looking at it always sends my husband and I into hysterical fits of laughter! ... more
eeeewwwwww!!!
10/28/2010
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
I dont and never have owned an ugly toy.
10/29/2010
Contributor: Sera Sera
Quote:
Originally posted by Shellz31
I dont and never have owned an ugly toy.
That's a good thing, and you should be proud. Haha, LoL.
10/29/2010
Contributor: Moein Moein
Quote:
Originally posted by Dame Demi
Sorry, it's from another website (but maybe not a bad thing considering how it looks!), but it's called the Intimate Kiss. It performs quite amazingly, but just looking at it always sends my husband and I into hysterical fits of laughter! ... more
A xxlarge dildo is the most ugly thing...
01/29/2011
Contributor: Mr. John Mr. John
Quote:
Originally posted by Dame Demi
Sorry, it's from another website (but maybe not a bad thing considering how it looks!), but it's called the Intimate Kiss. It performs quite amazingly, but just looking at it always sends my husband and I into hysterical fits of laughter! ... more
My wife's all time favorite toy is the Eroscillator 2 deluxe with the grapes attachment. However, it is ugly.
03/24/2013