Originally posted by
Emma (Girl With Fire)
That is a very good point.
I fully agree that parents have some control over what their children are watching, however I become increasingly frustrated because parents have control, in the home... when they are watching what their children are
That is a very good point.
I fully agree that parents have some control over what their children are watching, however I become increasingly frustrated because parents have control, in the home... when they are watching what their children are doing. kids with laptops or tvs in their rooms will do whatever they want to behind their parents backs. They will see stuff at friends houses, or in certain social settings. I am just thoroughly pissed off at the crap on tv these days. I am pissed off about the clothing they are selling to 10 year olds, I am pissed off about the fact that 13 year olds are running around having sex like it's going out of style.
YES, children are already sexual creatures, YES we as parents need to do our best to monitor what our children are exposed to, but NO there is no reason to help our children along by putting shit into their heads that THEY couldn't even come up with. I am a very open minded person, but that does not mean that I want my childs head filled up with bullshit about sex at 13 years old being romantic and memorable, and I want them to at the very least be able to retain a modicum of innocence at the age of 15. I am not so upset about the acts being shown on tv, but I am INCREDIBLY upset about the lack of self respect and respect for others that is constantly being shown as normal and acceptable behavior.
Does anybody remember when they were 15 and the thought of having sex at all was a BIG thing, now it's not a question of whether or not to have sex, but whether or not to have casual sex with multiple partners and how many partners makes you either a slut or a player. It isn't about educating children about the risks and consequences of sexual interaction (both mental and physical) but about how fun it is, how much trouble they can get in if they get caught and how it will effect their social standing. It's not 15 or 17 anymore it's 13 and 14. Not only are children being taught that it is expected of them, but that there is something wrong with them if they DIDN"T have sex. I know I cannot be the only person who things that this is completely fucked up.
Yeah, I do remember being 15, that's when I started having sex and had I had more information, better communication with my parents about it, I would have waited.
I started talking to my daughter about such things quite awhile ago (she's 13 now). We talk about what sex means, what can happen as a result, what "having a boyfriend" really means at her age, how her friends behave and what the consequences are when they make bad decisions (like getting sexually active at age 12).
You won't be able to keep your kids safe from popular cultural influences or peer pressure, so your best strategy is to be their ally. It's not easy and I know it seems like things are really tons different today than they were when you were growing up. I came of age in the time of Madonna and Like a Virgin and 90210...where everybody but Donna has sleeping around and it was so unusual that she was a virgin.
I was ten years old when I met a girl who was pregnant at 13 and 16 when I was attending the wedding of one of my friends who was pregnant and dropping out of school.
It's not really about what you hear kids are up to these days, the media plays that up BIG time. And it's not about what's on TV or your kids finding out someone likes to wear latex and spank other people... it's about you communicating with your kid and letting them know what they NEED to know about sex, about safety, about the emotional consequences of having sex too early.
There ARE some kids in my daughter's school who are doing things way too early. She and I have talked about it and she's actually chosen to distance herself from some people who she used to spend time with because she thinks the things they do are stupid and are probably only going to get worse.
It's always been this way y'all. There are just as many kids out there who don't care about sex at age 13 and 14 as there are who do—puberty hits, hormones surge and kids don't know how to deal with that. Raise yours to respect themselves, know the facts and know you are there if they need you and you'll be ahead of the game.