How can I get my hubby to try anal?

How can I get my hubby to try anal?

Holly Hox Holly Hox
Alright folks - I am up for trying new things in my marriage, one being anal. He has no desire at all to try it, and thinks it is disgusting. Do any of you have pointers or advice that might help me convince him to give it a shot?

Also - any other pointers for spicing up the sex life would be appreciated as well!!
01/09/2010
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Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by Holly Hox
Alright folks - I am up for trying new things in my marriage, one being anal. He has no desire at all to try it, and thinks it is disgusting. Do any of you have pointers or advice that might help me convince him to give it a shot?

Also - any ...
My boyfriend thought the same thing. It's possible that instead of him thinking its disgusting, he is just nervous about any embarrassing issues that could arise from play in that area - that's what my boyfriend's real issue was about.

I'd personally see if you could find some porn that was mostly vanilla, but possibly featured some pegging or male anal scenes. That would help a bit. Possibly talk about how it's pretty much the g-spot for males. If he knows about your time here on Eden Fantasys, talk about how you know some good toys that will really make it feel good for him. That it's a different kind of pleasure from masturbation.

There's really not too much you can do. You can gentle push once in awhile, but don't try it too much or he'll just find it more than annoying. The best way to change his mind is gentle reminders once in awhile and to tell him how much it would turn you on.

If there's a fantasy of his you haven't done, possibly do a trade-off. I'll try this if you try this. Assure him that you really want to try it, and if he does agree, definitely start off with a small anal plug. I suggest the Doc Johnson small anal plug. You don't want anything that looks too scary, and starting off with pegging could possibly be a bad experience. His first time, make sure there's plenty of foreplay involved, lots of lube, and slowly stretching out with fingers first. Make sure he feels that it's a couple event and that he's turning you on as well.

I think that's all I can come up with.
01/09/2010
Holly Hox Holly Hox
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
My boyfriend thought the same thing. It's possible that instead of him thinking its disgusting, he is just nervous about any embarrassing issues that could arise from play in that area - that's what my boyfriend's real issue was ...
Thanks Mistress Kay. Maybe I should have been a bit more clear, I want him to penetrate ME anally. I know without a doubt that I would never be able to convince him to do backdoor!!

I am open to being penetrated anally by him - but he thinks that is gross. I don't. So I am just wondering if there is anything I can say that would convince him that it isn't gross at all.
01/09/2010
Kayla Kayla
Quote:
Originally posted by Holly Hox
Thanks Mistress Kay. Maybe I should have been a bit more clear, I want him to penetrate ME anally. I know without a doubt that I would never be able to convince him to do backdoor!!

I am open to being penetrated anally by him - but he thinks ...
Oh. Well, that changes everything. Hmmm....my recommendation? Get a butt plug of your own and let him watch you use it (after you're comfortable with it, of course). Tell him that it's something that really turns you on, and you'd love to get him involved with something so intimate and arousing to you.

Remind him that he can wear a condom if the mess concerns him and you both could take a nice, relaxing shower afterwards too. (Also, doing it in the shower is an option, but it might just be too annoying to try it first-time in the shower). Offer to do something that he enjoys for him in exchange.

I'd also recommend some easy-on-the-eyes anal porn then as well, and see if you can't get him turned on by that if he enjoys porn at all. Basically, it is usually something about the mess involved that most males don't like. You could also try and find some books on it to give to him. Like I suggested before though, subtle suggestions once in awhile are the best way to do it. Too much and it seems like nagging.

That help a bit more?
01/09/2010
DONOTSHOPHERETHEOWNERISPSYCHO DONOTSHOPHERETHEOWNERISPSYCHO
Quote:
Originally posted by Holly Hox
Alright folks - I am up for trying new things in my marriage, one being anal. He has no desire at all to try it, and thinks it is disgusting. Do any of you have pointers or advice that might help me convince him to give it a shot?

Also - any ...
Sit down with him and watch that video that Eden's did recently with Nina Hartley about anal sex. It was very educational and encouraging. See if you can get him to talk about what it is that he thinks is disgusting about anal sex. If it's that he's afraid poop will pop up, it might, but cleaning out your butt may help ease his fears. Use condoms to keep him clean and plenty of good lube to make it easier.

That video should help a lot. If it doesn't, he might just not be ready for it and he may never be into it. Anal isn't everyone's cup of tea, so if after you guys discuss it seriously he still doesn't seem interested, don't push it. Maybe try some butt plugs or anal beads for that type of stimulation so that he's not actually having to do anything?
01/09/2010
Holly Hox Holly Hox
Thanks so much for the suggestions. I do appreciate it.

He does watch porn - but he really will only watch girls masturbating or girl on girl. He says he really doesn't care to see another man's penis in his porn. so.....not sure about the anal porn idea.

I can see the anal toy idea though. That could be a good intro for him, and then maybe like SarahBear said if he isn't ever into it we can use toys for me in that area instead.

I will watch Nina's video on anal sex. See if it's something I could maybe get him to watch.

THANKS AGAIN!!!
01/09/2010
sophie2229 sophie2229
Well maybe Mistress Kay was on to something with the whole plug thing. Granted you know your hubby best but here's what I would do:

1. wear a really cute but plug around him and show the (cleaned) version to him
2. get him a book on prostate massage and then get him a "matching" plug. I wouldn't pressure him to wear it because that could backfire, but if he's educated about the medical benefits, he might want to try this out
3. If he can understand that anal stimulation is enjoyable, he might be more likely to give you what you want

But from your comments this might not be as feasible? Good luck!
01/10/2010
Pleasureman Pleasureman
Quote:
Originally posted by Holly Hox
Alright folks - I am up for trying new things in my marriage, one being anal. He has no desire at all to try it, and thinks it is disgusting. Do any of you have pointers or advice that might help me convince him to give it a shot?

Also - any ...
Basically, if he doesn't want to try it, he won't like it. You can give him some time, get some educational information about it, and introduce him to anal cleansing kits, which make it cleaner. Remember though, if he does not want to try it, and you do, it may hurt. He has to be open to it. I myself enjoy anal. Words of advice though, if he does try it and loves it, he will be hooked.
01/10/2010
Riccio Riccio
Since he enjoys porn with girls masturbating, have you considered playing “watch, but not touch”? You could introduce some anal masturbation while he watches. That sounds hot to me!
02/16/2010
Phoenix Fire Phoenix Fire
I posted on a different forum with the similar topic you had posted holly and I want to ask the question why doesn't he want to try it? Have you asked him why he's so against it? Most men I've known are eager to get into it and explore it and it opens up a door of all new pleasure!

My concern and observation would be that he may be nervous about the messiness of the whole ordeal and that he may feel itll take away from your experiences sexually if that does happen and he gets grossed out by something he sees on his penis after penetrating you. Advice I've read other places and heard would be to do the enema that I suggested in your other forum post. I think that will largely help with the issue of cleanliness... of course I'd try the enema first myself and then play with some anal toys to see how it worked and what to do to achieve optimal cleanliness. Then I'd go to him and present him with the facts if that's what his main concern is.

Hope it helps!
02/21/2010
darkkitty darkkitty
Quote:
Originally posted by Holly Hox
Alright folks - I am up for trying new things in my marriage, one being anal. He has no desire at all to try it, and thinks it is disgusting. Do any of you have pointers or advice that might help me convince him to give it a shot?

Also - any ...
Introuduce anal dvds and do anal masturbation
12/10/2010
Total posts: 11
Unique posters: 8