The New Intimacy

No one wants to date their best friend

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Contributor: Nissa Nissa Nissa Nissa
I got this response a few weeks ago when a male "acquaintance" commented of my lack of make-up and styled hair. I said "I'm a tomboy generally. I like girly stuff but my interests are more masculine, I think most of the guys I dated liked me cause I was like their friend and understood their "world".

His response was "No one wants to date their best friend." Telling me to get my hair cut and styled, stop wearing t-shirts and jeans and wear more makeup.

What do you think?
08/02/2011
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Contributor: Acorn Acorn
I think he knows what he likes, but does not represent the general male population. I have been attracted to friends, maybe for the exact reasons you described.
08/02/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Nissa Nissa
I got this response a few weeks ago when a male "acquaintance" commented of my lack of make-up and styled hair. I said "I'm a tomboy generally. I like girly stuff but my interests are more masculine, I think most of the guys I ... more
This has NOTHING to do with "not dating your best friend". I married mine...and we have been happy...AND best friends, for 31 years. It has to do with "is he attracted to your "style" sexually and sensually, whatever that style may be. You can be "best friends" with a woman (or man) who turns you on, big time, or with one that is a best friend...but in which you have zero romantic appeal.

The fact he is trying to "remake you" says he IS interested in you...and trying to make you more into his "dream girl", since if you were ONLY "his friend" he would care less about your hair and makeup.

Good luck.
08/02/2011
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
(Review Program Mentor)
My boyfriend and I were best friends for a while before we dated, and it's amazing! Someone will love you for who you are, not what make up you wear!
08/02/2011
Contributor: Eucaly Eucaly
Quote:
Originally posted by Nissa Nissa
I got this response a few weeks ago when a male "acquaintance" commented of my lack of make-up and styled hair. I said "I'm a tomboy generally. I like girly stuff but my interests are more masculine, I think most of the guys I ... more
If you have to do these things to attract someone, then you're likely to attract someone who expects you to do those things all the time.

So, is it worth it to you, to do these things all the time for the rest of your life? That's the question to ask yourself.
08/02/2011
Contributor: M121212 M121212
Nah, screw 'em. Do what you want.
08/02/2011
Contributor: SexyLilPixi SexyLilPixi
At first I thought this was about really being in love with your best friend. I was all over that.

But now that I understand what your friend was saying, it's best to be you & find that guy who's gonna dig you for that than to ever conform to some dingbat's personal standards.
08/03/2011