Banish? Stalk? Or Stay Friends?

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Carrie Ann

Related to Exes & Sexes: The Twits of Splitsville

I haven't had to worry about it in a longggg time but I can't help thinking about it after this article. These days we're ALL connected via our blogs and Twitter and messengers and Facebook and...

What the hell do you do when you break up with someone? Or even decide you don't really like someone you "friended". It's not like you can just stop talking to them and they (mostly) cease to exist in your world. It's all interconnected. Even if I unfollow JohnnyBoogerPicker on Twitter (or MySpace or Yahoo or whatever), I'm still going to have to deal with his friends DustyAssWiper and PinkyPeeSniffer or else I end up unfollowing half my friends list.

How do you get unconnected with the least amount of damage? Or do you stay connected?

Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):

Fuck it. I unfriend and don't care who likes it or doesn't. He's dead to me.

Carrie Ann , Oggins , Pumpkin Lady , imp , Naughty Student , Sammi , Victoria , Rockin' , LicentiouslyYours , bodymodboy , Avery Dragon , Gary , Reesa , User Unknown , Kaijah , Liz , Valyn , spicywife , TinyTease , Rocky LaFemme , LilyLust , Envy , BlessedRaven , MuffysPinguLove , Owl Identified , El-Jaro , BitterSweet , Jul!a , missmandy27 , Airen Wolf , J's Alley , Angel deSanguine , ♥ Amanda ♥ , Sassybunny85 , Britni TheVadgeWig , Gardenvy , KBToys24 , ~LaUr3n~ , Hannah Savage , Blinker , Splendwhore , Not here , VieuxCarre , Lady Venus , deltalima , SexyySarah , SydVicious , alayamae , Trashley , DeliciousSurprise , Persephone Nightmare , onehotmomma , Love Buzz , darthkitt3n , cherryredhead88 , northstar , Lucidity , meganthomas , Bunnycups , Shellz31 , sophie2229 , staceejaxxx , Dusk , Danielle1220 , ToxicHeart , Tart , *HisMrs* , cburger , MaryExy , indiglo , EdenJP , Kitka , breebree , Ice1 , aliceinthehole , corsetsaurus rex , GONE! , ViVix , Beck , chantalgiardina , Stagger13 , roskat , eri86

We broke up. He's a dick. I report him as spam and force m to change his screen name

Nashville , Oggins , Sammi , BitterSweet , Lady Venus , alayamae , cherryredhead88 , Lucidity

I mentally ignore the person without physically blocking them. Less drama that way.

Nashville , Backseat Boohoo , Oggins , Femme Mystique , Avery Dragon , Adriana Ravenlust , User Unknown , Kiir , El-Jaro , Airen Wolf , Sundae , Lady Venus , DeliciousSurprise , chocoqueen , mrs.mckrakn , Rckt56 , Harlequin , Lucidity , LavenderSkies , Kiwi , sophie2229 , ToxicHeart , K101 , MaryExy , aliceinthehole , Missmarc , Stinkytofu10

I blog about the whole break up and try to get friends on my side

Nashville , Oggins , bodymodboy

I mention we split and leave it at that. The less details the better.

Carrie Ann , Femme Mystique , imp , Rockin' , bodymodboy , Avery Dragon , Adriana Ravenlust , Delete My Account , Reesa , Kaijah , Valyn , spicywife , TinyTease , BlessedRaven , Owl Identified , Domineight , SexyMojito , JustYourAverageGuy , Hannah Savage , Splendwhore , VieuxCarre , Lady Venus , Illusional , deltalima , SydVicious , DeliciousSurprise , onehotmomma , clp , Jenniae09 , Harlequin , darthkitt3n , cherryredhead88 , Lady Neshamah , Lucidity , TiffyPixie , Canabal , sophie2229 , Dusk , Danielle1220 , ToxicHeart , Tart , Paula , pootpootpoot , Beck

I stalk him! Even though we broke up I must know every move he makes and be sure he's not happy without me

Nashville , Carrie Ann , Oggins , LicentiouslyYours , Miss Cinnamon , BlessedRaven , MuffysPinguLove , Britni TheVadgeWig , Domineight , DeliciousSurprise , Coralbell , Tart , Paula

You're dumb. This is a dumb poll. Who adds thier boyfriend to Twitter anyhow?

bodymodboy , deceased , Britni TheVadgeWig , Sera , Ice1

I'm a grown up so I remain friends with him as it's the nice thing to do.

Backseat Boohoo , Femme Mystique , Rockin' , LicentiouslyYours , Adriana Ravenlust , Reesa , User Unknown , Kaijah , spicywife , El-Jaro , Sundae , sbremer , Darling Dove , SexyMojito , Pleasure Piratess , DeliciousSurprise , clp , Jenniae09 , Lady Neshamah , just a sub , RonLee , K101 , indiglo , aliceinthehole , ginas , corsetsaurus rex , karenm , Crunches , Hipposterous

I publicly cry a lot and then remove myself from all my networks to garner sympathy

just a sub

Other

Nashville , bodymodboy , Dragon , Sir , LilyLust , EffinSara , sbremer , Domineight , Andromeda , Lady Venus , P'Gell , Bunnycups , sbon , VanillaFreeSex , 7Miles , fromazoo , corsetsaurus rex , potstickers

Total votes: 231 (133 voters)

Poll is closed

06/04/2009

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Nashville

I rely on the rules of Bitchery 101. Everything is HIS fault- I'm innocent, I'm perfect, and I deserve a medal for staying with him for so long.

Now, I keep him on my list but I then create a fake profile to harass him with, or to flirt with him in order to get the juicy details about his relationship with me. If he says bad things about me then I'll write blogs about him describing his small penis or post his phone number on craigslist asking to suck dicks for free. Also, if he starts dating someone new I will create a fake profile as an unidentified female and email her about how he impregnated another girl and is refusing to pay child support or how he goes to the Meth clinic every Tuesday morning for his fix. If he however, says nice things about me, then I'll just ignore him and move on.

This is how the Universe works for psychotic women and men need to start learnin' some respect, for sho!

06/04/2009

Carrie Ann

Quote:

Originally posted by Nashville

I'm damned near crying over here, laughing so hard

06/04/2009

Backseat Boohoo

Depends on the relationship. If it was meh, we usually just drift apart and ignore people, but act polite when we meet up again. If it was good, I usually stay on good terms with the person.

I've only had one relationship that ended really horribly, and in that case, I give her a cold shoulder so cold it's like the arctic and hope she gets hit over the head with lots of heavy objects. =)

06/04/2009

Oggins

Quote:

Originally posted by Nashville

Hell Yes! Does this mean that I'm psychotic too?

06/04/2009

Nashville

Quote:

Originally posted by Oggins

Hell Yes! Does this mean that I'm psychotic too?

lol! At first I thought I was kidding but then as I reread what I wrote I was like, "damn, those are some good ideas!"

06/04/2009

Pumpkin Lady

Fuck it.

I say, why need to stay connected with people that you're no longer going to have a friendly relationship with? It's pretty immature for people to think, "OMG she unfriended me, how lame..." because no one is benefiting from knowing the shit one another does after a break up. I'm with Sleeping Dreamer, just know that you're better off without him and he can go fuck himself. Badly.

06/04/2009

Carrie Ann

Quote:

Originally posted by Nashville

lol! At first I thought I was kidding but then as I reread what I wrote I was like, "damn, those are some good ideas!"

I jotted them down for if Taylor ever leaves me. *nod*

06/04/2009

Rockin'

As Backseat Boohoo said, it depends on the relationship. If it ended badly, then fuck it, fuck him, fuck whomever wants to try to make me see differently. If it ended okay/well-enough, then sure, I'll stay friends. Might not be the closest of friends right after the breakup, but within a few months, things settle down and get a little more normal.

I almost clicked the "You're dumb..." option just to fuck with you, Carrie Ann.

06/04/2009

LicentiouslyYours

Hmm...I dunno, I have stayed friends with my two major break-ups in life. Now, there was that guy in college who lived in the frat house next door (I know, i know, wtf was I thinking). We dated briefly until one day someone mentioned to me he had gotten engaged and this coincided with him just no longer taking my calls or speaking to me.

For not being man enough to break up with me or even dare to speak to me again, his precious camero mysteriously and regularly had all the air let out of its tires for about 2 weeks afterward. Just enough to make his life difficult but not enough to be charged with vandalism.

06/04/2009

LicentiouslyYours

Quote:

Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours

Oh, i suppose I do initially blog (a week or two, or just once even) about breaking up (Carrie Ann knows so I have to admit it) but the men in my life do not read my blog and the friends who do are always on my side anyway, so its really just cathartic to dump it all out on my screen and then move on.

06/04/2009

Carrie Ann

Quote:

Originally posted by Rockin'

You should have! I'd have laughed.

06/04/2009

Carrie Ann

Quote:

Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours

I've probably done all those things.

I actually considered putting an option for "I pretend I died, make up a new screen name and lurk to see what everyone says, then reincarnate myself a few months later as "angelbabypookiebear" or something, cuz it's probably the one thing I haven't done. But we know folks who have!

06/04/2009

bodymodboy

I'd like to point out that I don't think you're dumb Carrie Ann, I just don't add lovers on things like LiveJournal (learned from the past) or twitter. I have them on facebook, yes, but I tend to ignore them.

06/05/2009

Carrie Ann

Quote:

Originally posted by bodymodboy

Heh. I hear ya. And, honestly, I wouldn't put a "you're dumb" option on there if I was going to be insulted and really think folks think I'm dumb.

06/05/2009

NaughtyButterfly

I had an ex (who has been an ex for 6+ years due to abuse) send me a friend request with a creepy borderline stalker/obsessive tone to it & I freaked out and deleted my page immediately! It felt like he had been "watching" me & my family through my page...eerie. Can we say "move on".

06/05/2009

Victoria

Doooood, I have you all beat - my hubby's ex stalks him *and me* online! Hahaha...and after 3 years, she still "blogs" on her myspace about him/us (as recent as TODAY). WTF? Even better is that she writes in the most error-ridden illiterate fashion (like, srsly, so badly written). Ugh. People are fucked sometimes! Let's just say that I have fucking patience - because that shit makes me want to fight a bitch.

This kinda spawned a crazy idea for me though - a one-off zine (printed, xerox style or whatever) of stalkery letters and batshit blogs that exes have written - anyone can submit their stalker ex artifacts (with some kind of intro or something) and it would be a compilation zine of funny stories and crazy exes called "Things not to do when you're dumped".

Anyway - if you think the idea is interesting, let me know bc, hey, I might just do it now.

06/05/2009

Pumpkin Lady

Quote:

Originally posted by Victoria

I totally want you to do that. I would find it endlessly amusing. My boyfriend's ex still haunts him too, via text. She is freaking hilarious.

I think a lot of people would read it, its relate able.

06/05/2009

Adriana Ravenlust

I'm friends with some exes - have one on my facebook/myspace. I have another I occasionally speak to via AIM but it can be awkward. It really depends on the situation. Even bad break ups can lead to friends.

06/05/2009

Champagne and Benzedrine (Roland Hulme)

I totally stalk... My ex has Twitter, so she broadcasts the mundane facts and I can view them and be secretly relieved I ended up safely married to somebody sane, upbeat, mature and enthusiastic about being sodomised on a regular basis.

06/05/2009

Gary

Not only are they dead to me, but when at all possible I will even refrain from speaking their name!

... I would also prefer to not hear, or even know about their stalking, but unfortunately I receive the daily updates.

06/05/2009

Victoria

Quote:

Originally posted by Gary

It's true - he is crazy about not saying their names - and it's not true that he gets *daily* updates.

06/05/2009

BrokeNHorny

I had a messy breakup with my first girlfriend, and we were friendly for a while. We saw each other a while ago, and haven't spoken since. I have no real hard feelings, but I found out recently that one of my friends keep running into her and the two exchange some not so nice words. I guess it goes to show that even though I have no virtual social network(no facebook, twitter, myspace, nothing), I managed to block a friend and start a flame war.

06/06/2009

bodymodboy

Quote:

Originally posted by Victoria

I want to see this. It'll be like trainwreck blogging, which I totally read just for the amusement. Like Rush Limbaugh's blog, or other white people saying Native Americans bring it on themselves. It's like my soap operas online.

06/06/2009

Oggins

Quote:

Originally posted by Nashville

lol! At first I thought I was kidding but then as I reread what I wrote I was like, "damn, those are some good ideas!"

No they are great! I would totally do these things but I should probably clarify that I don't have a history of it. It's just the relationship that I am in now and the level of devotion we have for each other. We also have kids together so....yeah...I'd stalk him! I wouldn't go so far as to destroy his life but I'd definitely bug the crap out of him!

Also, I'd definitely love to read Victoria's "Things not to do when you're dumped" and I'll for sure keep her posted in the event that me and hubby split! =P

06/07/2009

Sir

Personally, if I were to end things (again) with my current partner, it would be hard for both of us. I'm the "stalker" type - or at least she calls me that - and I monitor everything that she does from that point on. But aside from that, when we have (because we have many times), I don't really tell anyone. Only her and I know. She usually makes it obvious on her profiles though since she's a little girl, but for me, I never make any of my personal matters obvious on profiles, because I like to keep my personal life separate from things where anyone can see them.

06/13/2009

Miss Cinnamon

We broke up once before for a period of two weeks. I didn't want to touch our facebook relationship status because I was upset about it, but he broke it off on fb... and then later on he changed it to "it's complicated"... Nowadays I have him trained to stop messing around with facebook and not defining our relationship like that.

06/14/2009

Liz

Quote:

Originally posted by Victoria

They're dead to me. No Facebook, no IM, no Twitter, no Myspace, and on one memorable occasion, I changed my locks and all my phone numbers.

Victoria, my boyfriend has a similarly psychotic ex-FWB (not even a girlfriend!) who has created a few dozen new screen names and fake Facebook and Myspace accounts all in the name of trying to keep tabs on us. In the name of bitches we all want to fight, I think you should totally do the "things not to do when you're dumped" zine.

07/11/2009

TinyTease

Quote:

Originally posted by Victoria

That would be an awesome zine. I'd subscribe!

07/11/2009

TinyTease

As far as the original question, it depends on how the relationship ended and why and what happens afterward. I had one ex go ape shit psycho, so I blogged about how crazy he is (he didn't read it and it didn't mention him specifically). I deleted him from everything, but I am still friends with his friends. My most recent ex, well, we still talk a lot and get along quite well. If I didn't want him to be my friend on Facebook or whatever, I'd tell him why and then do it, but I have no reason to do that now.

07/11/2009

Total posts: 84 Unique posters: 68

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