Never every say never. That makes it much more difficult to address the situation if it ever does happen. The devastation is somehow worse.

I agree. It would not matter...the outcome and pain is still the same.

well said

Agreed 100%

There's no justification for cheating. If my partner is thinking about relations with another person to the point where he wants to act on it, I would rather he just tell me so we can end the relationship amicably.

link

Both would be bad but I would prefer with a man. At least if it was a man I wouldn't have to worry if he was prettier or not.

Take it from me Ansley... it isnt any easier to take. My husband of 7 years decided he wanted to be with a man and had an affair for about 6 months before i found out.. I dont think this is easier to take than if he was with a female. Its by far the hardest most awful thing ive ever gone through.. Maybe if he had asked for a divorce and THEN got with him... maybe it had been easier.. but they flaunted it all over our small town. Heres to hoping you dont get experience in this crap.

After reading some of the responses, I find it fascinating how some think that having sex with the same gender would be easier.

Not that I am criticizing, because my ex husband told me that if I wanted to be with a woman, he would've been OK with it. I just find it interesting that the whole thought of being with the same gender doesn't seem like infidelity.

It's a perspective kind of thing. Yes it is still cheating, however, that might have been a fantasy of his. That scenario might have been much easier to deal with from his perspective and rational. He also might have been able to pass it off as 2 women exploring their sexuality. I think I remember reading in my Human Sexuality class that Lesbians might have an "easier" time in society than gay males. I don't mean to trivialize the repercussions of being gay in American society: I realize that there are still MANY hurdles to overcome until homosexuality can be recognized as a non issue for many people. I'm not trying or hinting that being a Lesbian or Gay male in America is any type of cake walk. Please understand this.

Did you ever probe him about it? Ask him why you with another woman's touch is much more acceptable with him than you with another man? I have a feeling it might have had something to do with another male's penis and the lack of one with a woman.

It's funny, I view this situation as a "What is better?" situation. Would you rather break your dominate arm or your non dominate arm? Either way, you have a broken arm...

With my ex husband, if he would've cheated, I think I'd be more accepting of his cheating with a man. I feel after having a child, and other issues, him cheating with a woman would be a slap in the face. I knew he liked anal sex (though that does NOT make him gay), but I think him being with a man, for the experience of it, would be easier to take.

neither and either way they are so gone